Hi my beloved readers,
I think I'll be shifting to multiply. The new addy will be http://belovedsally.multiply.com. If I ever do shift back, I'll also post a notice there.. but I hope not.. :)
I'm quite new to it but what it has that blogger doesn't, is that it seems to have good network support. It purports to support "meaningful" relationship rather than growing the biggest site.
Advantages:
1. Sharing other stuff like photos, music and video
2. Some extra features like a "Review" section where one can share book/movie reviews and also be notified at the same time - see what your friends are watching! :)
3. Also, there's a calendar feature. Sometimes we have activities coming up and to organise a group activity, we tend to mass mail. Or sometimes we receive a mail about a friend's upcoming activity but forget to reply. This feature allows us to share our timetables with each other.
4. Because of the above 'network' support, we can keep in touch by being involved in each other's life (different aspects other than just blog but music as well.)
5. There's also a notification feature when there's a new blog entry/review etc up.
6. There's an easy import feature from blogger to multiply. I tried that and it's really easy. The only thing is that for me, it didn't import my whole blog but I think only the last 2 months. It's a duplication but it feels good 'cos it doesn't feel like it's starting from square one.
7. All you need to do is apply to multiply. You don't have to keep a blog there. Little maintenance but it'll be nice to keep in touch with me, yes? E-mail me your address and I'll send an invite along. ;) My e-mail is found via my profile here.
shalom!
:) Sally Elisha
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Holding out for a hero
Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the great white Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what i need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasies
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Out where the mountains meetthe heavens above
Out where the lightning strikes the sea
I can swear that there's someone somewhere watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
and the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Oh, do I remember this song. It's sung by Bonnie Tyler. In the past, it's about finding a life partner, getting married, settling down plus the chemistry, the excitement, the life and everything explosive about passion.
In fact, the energy behind the song is kinda of scary (in the sense of wondering, is it possible? can such a man exist?) and so attractive 'cos it reflects the cry of the female heart.
The heart of a woman is not like having english tea at the patio - though it can be that. But the depths, ah, that's different. It can be wild, turbulent, untamed, pulsating wait for a mate that would match her. But of course, we cover it with niceties and it is forgotten in the grind of daily lives - except, perhaps, when it is unleashed in the bedroom...
But really, the only Perfect man that would fill such a role is Christ alone. Because only with Him, can I NOT cut any corners, not convince myself to settle.
Heart's desire, soul's satisfaction - these are cries from the depths, the thirst of which only true living waters and quench.
Living with God - it's like a Dare, an outrageous invitation to life! If only I can shed the shackles of security and launch out into the deep with Him. If only I can reach inside into the true me and live courageously, adventurously with Him. Let me keep my eyes upon You and You shall transform me Lord!
Where's the great white Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what i need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasies
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Out where the mountains meetthe heavens above
Out where the lightning strikes the sea
I can swear that there's someone somewhere watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
and the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
 |
| Bonnie Tyler - I N... |
| Hosted by eSnips |
Oh, do I remember this song. It's sung by Bonnie Tyler. In the past, it's about finding a life partner, getting married, settling down plus the chemistry, the excitement, the life and everything explosive about passion.
In fact, the energy behind the song is kinda of scary (in the sense of wondering, is it possible? can such a man exist?) and so attractive 'cos it reflects the cry of the female heart.
The heart of a woman is not like having english tea at the patio - though it can be that. But the depths, ah, that's different. It can be wild, turbulent, untamed, pulsating wait for a mate that would match her. But of course, we cover it with niceties and it is forgotten in the grind of daily lives - except, perhaps, when it is unleashed in the bedroom...
But really, the only Perfect man that would fill such a role is Christ alone. Because only with Him, can I NOT cut any corners, not convince myself to settle.
Heart's desire, soul's satisfaction - these are cries from the depths, the thirst of which only true living waters and quench.
Living with God - it's like a Dare, an outrageous invitation to life! If only I can shed the shackles of security and launch out into the deep with Him. If only I can reach inside into the true me and live courageously, adventurously with Him. Let me keep my eyes upon You and You shall transform me Lord!
Monday, July 10, 2006
Jailhouse rock
Stand up everybody! Elvis is IN the building!
hahaha... what a rockingly cute finale to the end of service yesterday! It's the 50s, the girls and the boys in their colourful clothes. It's the moves, it's the groove, it's the hairgel and the sideburns... it's the music of Elvis baby!
Lyrics 'copped' from Sean's aka uncle muthu's 24 hr prata place.
So heeeere's Jail Got Rocked
Warden threw Paul n Silas down to Jail,
The prison all around em thought their plans've failed
Started sumthin when the bos began to sing
Shook the earth alot n let the jailbirds spring!
In the Stocks!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
Silas started praisin n it cracked some stone,
little did they know it was a sign that was to come
a rumblin noise hit the boys and smashed the chains
broke the richter scale it was a powerful thing!
In the Stocks!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
From the Throne of Heaven came a rumbling
Tore right through the jail rather effortlessly
they should've used a seismograph but honestly
they wanted to but it was 51 AD
In the Stocks!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
* Cue guitar solo and lots of shaking and twisting
The macedonian prison in the time of Rome
was more like california by the time it was done
the warder said "hey buddy whould ya please explain,
can you tell me what to do so i'll get saved??"
Let's Talk!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
"If you just believe in the Lord Jesus Christ
Warden you can now repent and save your life
Would ya like forgiveness?" and he said "Yes yes!
You gotta stick around i'm gonna get my kids!"
Let's Talk!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
hahaha... what a rockingly cute finale to the end of service yesterday! It's the 50s, the girls and the boys in their colourful clothes. It's the moves, it's the groove, it's the hairgel and the sideburns... it's the music of Elvis baby!
Lyrics 'copped' from Sean's aka uncle muthu's 24 hr prata place.
So heeeere's Jail Got Rocked
Warden threw Paul n Silas down to Jail,
The prison all around em thought their plans've failed
Started sumthin when the bos began to sing
Shook the earth alot n let the jailbirds spring!
In the Stocks!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
Silas started praisin n it cracked some stone,
little did they know it was a sign that was to come
a rumblin noise hit the boys and smashed the chains
broke the richter scale it was a powerful thing!
In the Stocks!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
From the Throne of Heaven came a rumbling
Tore right through the jail rather effortlessly
they should've used a seismograph but honestly
they wanted to but it was 51 AD
In the Stocks!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
* Cue guitar solo and lots of shaking and twisting
The macedonian prison in the time of Rome
was more like california by the time it was done
the warder said "hey buddy whould ya please explain,
can you tell me what to do so i'll get saved??"
Let's Talk!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
"If you just believe in the Lord Jesus Christ
Warden you can now repent and save your life
Would ya like forgiveness?" and he said "Yes yes!
You gotta stick around i'm gonna get my kids!"
Let's Talk!
Everybody was shocked!
evry door in the cells was unlocked,
when the macedonian Jail got rocked!
Love is in the air
Feeling a little whimsical this evening...
So enjoy the lyrics of this song... the beat is a little bit of cha-cha :)
Love is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound
And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes
Love is in the air
In the whisper of the trees
Love is in the air
In the thunder of the sea
And I don't know if I'm just dreaming
Don't know if I feel sane
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when you call out my name
(Chorus)
Love is in the air
Love is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Love is in the air
In the rising of the sun
Love is in the air
When the day is nearly done
And I don't know if you're an illusion
Don't know if I see it true
But you're something that I must believe in
And you're there when I reach out for you
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound
And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes
from the song "Love is in the air" by John Paul Young
..nope, not sung by the ex-pope when he was young... ha.. I know 'tis corny..
So enjoy the lyrics of this song... the beat is a little bit of cha-cha :)
Love is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound
And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes
Love is in the air
In the whisper of the trees
Love is in the air
In the thunder of the sea
And I don't know if I'm just dreaming
Don't know if I feel sane
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when you call out my name
(Chorus)
Love is in the air
Love is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Love is in the air
In the rising of the sun
Love is in the air
When the day is nearly done
And I don't know if you're an illusion
Don't know if I see it true
But you're something that I must believe in
And you're there when I reach out for you
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound
And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes
from the song "Love is in the air" by John Paul Young
..nope, not sung by the ex-pope when he was young... ha.. I know 'tis corny..
Health
Well, I'm still in the valley of the shadow of death.
His staff and His rod, nay, His presence comforts me.
Health is so important to achieve so many things. And without health, there're so many things I want to do that I cannot.
Makes one appreciate the simple things like being able to communicate. I can't even carry on a vocal conversation right now.
It never occurred to me that this coughing is from God. Nor that God allowed it to happen.
In fact I had a conversation with a brother where we differed on this point. He pointed out to the OT where it said God caused this, God caused that (bad stuff) to happen. And Pastor said that in the hebrew, according to some greek scholar (I think it was Thayer), that the word "caused" was in the permissive rather than active tense.
But my point was this is NT, post-cross. I'm practical. Whether God caused it to happen (active) or allowed it to happen (passive), the fact is it makes no difference with regards to the result. i.e. I still have that $%^&* cough. And doing something or doing nothing when He can do something, is an expression of His will. I know my Abba. And His will is NOT for me to be sick.
I can only say that by His stripes I'm healed.
I'm not actually over bothered by the cough at first, only recently, because of it's duration... :S
I just remember that God makes all things work for good for those who love Him.
Sometimes, I think of this trial like vaccinations.
God will not allow us to be tempted more than we're able to cope. And actually, with each new 'trial', by persevering, I actually emerge stronger. Each time I'm sick, I'm interested in studying health. Appropriating health. Learning about Jehovah-Repheka - The Lord that heals.
When I'm suffering lack, it's then that I learn about the Lord being my inheritance. Leaning on, relying on Him.
With every vaccination, I gain a deeper understanding, a fresh reminder. Like this time. Like this cough.
Just reminds me of how sweet being healthy is. To be grateful for health. In every little thing.
This cough just makes me angry now! I just imagine that sick spirit of infirmity latching onto me. urgh! Let me think no more on it but focus on the cross, on the holy communion; let me remind myself that His body was broken for me.
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed
Isaiah 53
His staff and His rod, nay, His presence comforts me.
Health is so important to achieve so many things. And without health, there're so many things I want to do that I cannot.
Makes one appreciate the simple things like being able to communicate. I can't even carry on a vocal conversation right now.
It never occurred to me that this coughing is from God. Nor that God allowed it to happen.
In fact I had a conversation with a brother where we differed on this point. He pointed out to the OT where it said God caused this, God caused that (bad stuff) to happen. And Pastor said that in the hebrew, according to some greek scholar (I think it was Thayer), that the word "caused" was in the permissive rather than active tense.
But my point was this is NT, post-cross. I'm practical. Whether God caused it to happen (active) or allowed it to happen (passive), the fact is it makes no difference with regards to the result. i.e. I still have that $%^&* cough. And doing something or doing nothing when He can do something, is an expression of His will. I know my Abba. And His will is NOT for me to be sick.
I can only say that by His stripes I'm healed.
I'm not actually over bothered by the cough at first, only recently, because of it's duration... :S
I just remember that God makes all things work for good for those who love Him.
Sometimes, I think of this trial like vaccinations.
God will not allow us to be tempted more than we're able to cope. And actually, with each new 'trial', by persevering, I actually emerge stronger. Each time I'm sick, I'm interested in studying health. Appropriating health. Learning about Jehovah-Repheka - The Lord that heals.
When I'm suffering lack, it's then that I learn about the Lord being my inheritance. Leaning on, relying on Him.
With every vaccination, I gain a deeper understanding, a fresh reminder. Like this time. Like this cough.
Just reminds me of how sweet being healthy is. To be grateful for health. In every little thing.
This cough just makes me angry now! I just imagine that sick spirit of infirmity latching onto me. urgh! Let me think no more on it but focus on the cross, on the holy communion; let me remind myself that His body was broken for me.
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed
Isaiah 53
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Faithfulness
I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of love
for Your faithfulness to me
Hmm.. during worship today, I'm reminded it's not my faithfulness. It's His faithfulness.
But another thought occurred.
How awesome it is that Almighty God should choose to be faithful to me?
I mean, why should he bind Himself to me? He is able to do all things. He is powerful, awesome, almighty, holding the world in His hands. And who am I that He wants to be faithful?
Yes, I know the theological arguments behind it.
I was again reminded of a marriage covenant. Like the wife committing adultery and the husband remaining faithful and waiting for her to turn to him, wooing her back with love. In such a case, there would be grounds for divorce. But no, he chooses to wait. To remain faithful. Because of love.
But look at his wife! The harlot. Is there anything lovely about her?
It just baffles me how God sees us. How He sees me. Yet by practising the truth of redemption, the sanctification by the blood of the lamb and the imputation of righteousness; by His revealing daily, the righteousness I have through the cross, I begin to see myself through the eyes of my Beloved.
And then - confidence, security, beauty and wisdom comes, knowing my true worth in Him. Seeing myself through the eyes of His love.
Faithfulness. It's not about me. It's about Him. His faithfulness to me in my life's journey. How awesome that He chooses to bind Himself to me!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed, thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness
Lord unto me!
A hymn of love
for Your faithfulness to me
Hmm.. during worship today, I'm reminded it's not my faithfulness. It's His faithfulness.
But another thought occurred.
How awesome it is that Almighty God should choose to be faithful to me?
I mean, why should he bind Himself to me? He is able to do all things. He is powerful, awesome, almighty, holding the world in His hands. And who am I that He wants to be faithful?
Yes, I know the theological arguments behind it.
I was again reminded of a marriage covenant. Like the wife committing adultery and the husband remaining faithful and waiting for her to turn to him, wooing her back with love. In such a case, there would be grounds for divorce. But no, he chooses to wait. To remain faithful. Because of love.
But look at his wife! The harlot. Is there anything lovely about her?
It just baffles me how God sees us. How He sees me. Yet by practising the truth of redemption, the sanctification by the blood of the lamb and the imputation of righteousness; by His revealing daily, the righteousness I have through the cross, I begin to see myself through the eyes of my Beloved.
And then - confidence, security, beauty and wisdom comes, knowing my true worth in Him. Seeing myself through the eyes of His love.
Faithfulness. It's not about me. It's about Him. His faithfulness to me in my life's journey. How awesome that He chooses to bind Himself to me!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed, thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness
Lord unto me!
World Cup 2006
Well, it seems official, NCC is rooting for Italy.
At least the leaders are.
I seem to be the only lone voice who shouted out France when Deacon Matthew threw out the question, "Who do you think will win the World Cup?"
Geez, and I prayed you know, so I really thought France would win. Of course, at the back of my mind, is the question, what if other christians prayed for Italy? Well, I like to think I'm one of Abba's favourite daughters so I felt that France would win. Aiyah, now Pastor Prince also voiced support for Italy.. tsk tsk..
Sometimes, I wonder how God would answer such prayers where there are Christians on both side. I wonder if Abba has his own tally sheet... see which side got more Christian supporters? LOL... haha
Anyway, viva la France!
hope I said it correctly :D
At least the leaders are.
I seem to be the only lone voice who shouted out France when Deacon Matthew threw out the question, "Who do you think will win the World Cup?"
Geez, and I prayed you know, so I really thought France would win. Of course, at the back of my mind, is the question, what if other christians prayed for Italy? Well, I like to think I'm one of Abba's favourite daughters so I felt that France would win. Aiyah, now Pastor Prince also voiced support for Italy.. tsk tsk..
Sometimes, I wonder how God would answer such prayers where there are Christians on both side. I wonder if Abba has his own tally sheet... see which side got more Christian supporters? LOL... haha
Anyway, viva la France!
hope I said it correctly :D
Friday, July 07, 2006
cough
*cough* *cough*
hiaz, I'm having a cough and I'm thoroughly fed up. Can't even complete a sentence without a cough. If I breathe too deeply, it triggers it. And sometimes it's so violent I'm simply exhausted by the end of it.
I wonder why I don't have any problems coughing when sleeping. My sleep is really sweet. It's when I'm awake and every few seconds, I have to cough. Can't stand it. Can't go to work. How do I speak to clients if I'm coughing after every few words?
And the temptation to feel sorry for myself is real strong. The 'poor me' syndrome which I sometimes am tempted to indulge in.
And no amount of 'trying' to focus on the Lord. Oh, I wish I could come to the place where I can really work by faith and not by sight. To be able to take holy communion without reminding myself that I'm not taking it to 'gain' healing.
Oh Lord, You have to be the one to pull me out of this rut. How can I exhibit joy, faith, peace, love when I am preoccupied with physical self? :( Abba, You handle it lah. I'm tired, fed-up with it. I can't even pray ernestly, sincerely whatever and almost resigned to let the stupid cough run it's course. But it's been almost two weeks! What da?!
Lord, You love me right? So it's up to You! I don't care. This is Your holy temple. You take care of it! If You don't, I can't. I don't care what about talking to my mountain myself. I tried that. But it is Your power Lord and Your resurrection life that You choose to fill in Your Word.
Ah.. when I don't know what to do, I shall just mutter in tongues, in spurts.. Lord, how can I endure, or pray for long when I feel so bleh. Do it in faith yah? Okay, I'll try...
Abba, I'm sorry for being irrelevant today. But I want You to know my frustration. I think I need to express my sulking to You :S Thanks for hearing anyway. Knowing You love me is a comfort. And though I don't feel anything right now, nor want to, yet I cherish the memories of those times when You held me close. And Lord, I know that You are the same, yesterday, today and forever.
Love You Lord. Love me too? :) Hugs and kisses... my Jesus.
hiaz, I'm having a cough and I'm thoroughly fed up. Can't even complete a sentence without a cough. If I breathe too deeply, it triggers it. And sometimes it's so violent I'm simply exhausted by the end of it.
I wonder why I don't have any problems coughing when sleeping. My sleep is really sweet. It's when I'm awake and every few seconds, I have to cough. Can't stand it. Can't go to work. How do I speak to clients if I'm coughing after every few words?
And the temptation to feel sorry for myself is real strong. The 'poor me' syndrome which I sometimes am tempted to indulge in.
And no amount of 'trying' to focus on the Lord. Oh, I wish I could come to the place where I can really work by faith and not by sight. To be able to take holy communion without reminding myself that I'm not taking it to 'gain' healing.
Oh Lord, You have to be the one to pull me out of this rut. How can I exhibit joy, faith, peace, love when I am preoccupied with physical self? :( Abba, You handle it lah. I'm tired, fed-up with it. I can't even pray ernestly, sincerely whatever and almost resigned to let the stupid cough run it's course. But it's been almost two weeks! What da?!
Lord, You love me right? So it's up to You! I don't care. This is Your holy temple. You take care of it! If You don't, I can't. I don't care what about talking to my mountain myself. I tried that. But it is Your power Lord and Your resurrection life that You choose to fill in Your Word.
Ah.. when I don't know what to do, I shall just mutter in tongues, in spurts.. Lord, how can I endure, or pray for long when I feel so bleh. Do it in faith yah? Okay, I'll try...
Abba, I'm sorry for being irrelevant today. But I want You to know my frustration. I think I need to express my sulking to You :S Thanks for hearing anyway. Knowing You love me is a comfort. And though I don't feel anything right now, nor want to, yet I cherish the memories of those times when You held me close. And Lord, I know that You are the same, yesterday, today and forever.
Love You Lord. Love me too? :) Hugs and kisses... my Jesus.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Diary
Hmm... I may be blogging less.. but that's what I said end of last year too...
I miss the paper and pen. It's tangible rather than electronic. :)
And I like writing. Language is somewhat a little like architecture. Not only in prose construction but also, in calligraphy.
Ahh.. I like my own handwriting. I actually have two. One is a beautiful cursive one and the other is a more deliberated, square, scholarly style. :) I don't deliberately switch between the two, though I can but I realise that my handwriting changes with my mental state and mood.
I miss the paper and pen. It's tangible rather than electronic. :)
And I like writing. Language is somewhat a little like architecture. Not only in prose construction but also, in calligraphy.
Ahh.. I like my own handwriting. I actually have two. One is a beautiful cursive one and the other is a more deliberated, square, scholarly style. :) I don't deliberately switch between the two, though I can but I realise that my handwriting changes with my mental state and mood.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Song of Songs - sermon notes (18 June 2006)
I really liked this sermon. It's on one of my fave books in the OT. And Pastor Lawrence's sermons ministered to me. Mmm hmm.. fed and satisfied on the love of Christ!
Songs of songs 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
For your love is better than wine.
wine = pleasures and intoxication (in the world)
Every physical and spiritual beauty is found in Jesus.
He is the source of beauty
kiss - not like that given by the father to the father to the prodigal son but a kiss of intimacy
When you feed on Jesus, you become truly satisfied
- Jesus is the bread of life
- all your hunger is satisfied in Him.
Song of songs 1:3
Because of the fragrance of your good ointments,
Your name is ointment poured forth;
The name is associated with a person. It is identification.
Jesus = SAVIOUR
Jesus - His name is like a sweet fragrance.
Captain of our salvation (protection, preservation..)
The name is associated with what this person has done.
Smile on your face, sparkle in the eys and skip in the steps
Song of songs 1:4 (KJV)
Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.
After God draws you, you will run (spiritual activity) after Him.
- serve God from the overflow
- there is no way you can serve out of your own fleshly effort.
Our passion and desire for Him even comes from Him.
- we are drawn to Him.
chambers = place of intimacy, of passionate love between husband and wife.
God desires you much more than your desire for Him.
God is active; church is described as 'she' - passive.
Gospels tell us about God's pursuit of us - His love that has given us His only beloved Son.
"remember thy love" - we need to remember that God's love is better than wine.
God's love is not meant to have an intellectual discussion. It is meant to be experienced and enjoyed.
We enjoy God's love by faith.
- it is not by feelings.
You believe and it will be real.
We are called to live by faith.
Faith gives substance to things hoped for.
Faith makes God's love real to you.
Believe that He has called you. God will give you a new voice for this new generation. yield and flow
God doesn't need you to serve Him. You get to serve Him.
The focus is on Christ and on Him alone
- Colossians 1:16-20
For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.
And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.
For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross.
It is through grace that we receive.
Don't look at grace as a doctrine. Grace is a Person
Christian life is not about getting things from God. It is a living relationship.
Jesus, the author and finisher of faith.
When you see Jesus, the faith will be there.
How big you see Jesus will be how big your faith is.
Your faith is not determined by what you see. Your faith must be built on the Word of God.
The problem is we have faith in His power but not in His willingness.
- Mark 1:39-42
Now a leper came to Him, imploring Him, kneeling down to Him and saying to Him, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.”
Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”
As soon as He had spoken, immediately the leprosy left him, and he was cleansed.
It is not what we can do. It is what He has done and what He is doing in and through us.
- God gives you the will and the desire to do.
- how hard is it for a hungry man to eat? Life in Christ is like that! :D
- Hebrews 13:20-21
Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
You are holy, that's why you want to liva a holy life. How?
Christ is our all in all
- righteousness, wisdom and holiness
There's one thing that He seeks from you. He wants your love.
Song of songs 4:10
How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
- This is God telling you how beautiful your love and worship of Him is.
He loves the love that we have for Him.
God's desire is for me.
It's not about how to be intimate with God. Just be intimate with Him. (you're already in Him)
"I am my beloved and His desire is toward me" (Song of songs 7:10)
He who is extraoridnary is in you. That's why you are no longer ordinary.
Songs of songs 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
For your love is better than wine.
wine = pleasures and intoxication (in the world)
Every physical and spiritual beauty is found in Jesus.
He is the source of beauty
kiss - not like that given by the father to the father to the prodigal son but a kiss of intimacy
When you feed on Jesus, you become truly satisfied
- Jesus is the bread of life
- all your hunger is satisfied in Him.
Song of songs 1:3
Because of the fragrance of your good ointments,
Your name is ointment poured forth;
The name is associated with a person. It is identification.
Jesus = SAVIOUR
Jesus - His name is like a sweet fragrance.
Captain of our salvation (protection, preservation..)
The name is associated with what this person has done.
Smile on your face, sparkle in the eys and skip in the steps
Song of songs 1:4 (KJV)
Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.
After God draws you, you will run (spiritual activity) after Him.
- serve God from the overflow
- there is no way you can serve out of your own fleshly effort.
Our passion and desire for Him even comes from Him.
- we are drawn to Him.
chambers = place of intimacy, of passionate love between husband and wife.
God desires you much more than your desire for Him.
God is active; church is described as 'she' - passive.
Gospels tell us about God's pursuit of us - His love that has given us His only beloved Son.
"remember thy love" - we need to remember that God's love is better than wine.
God's love is not meant to have an intellectual discussion. It is meant to be experienced and enjoyed.
We enjoy God's love by faith.
- it is not by feelings.
You believe and it will be real.
We are called to live by faith.
Faith gives substance to things hoped for.
Faith makes God's love real to you.
Believe that He has called you. God will give you a new voice for this new generation. yield and flow
God doesn't need you to serve Him. You get to serve Him.
The focus is on Christ and on Him alone
- Colossians 1:16-20
For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.
And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.
For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross.
It is through grace that we receive.
Don't look at grace as a doctrine. Grace is a Person
Christian life is not about getting things from God. It is a living relationship.
Jesus, the author and finisher of faith.
When you see Jesus, the faith will be there.
How big you see Jesus will be how big your faith is.
Your faith is not determined by what you see. Your faith must be built on the Word of God.
The problem is we have faith in His power but not in His willingness.
- Mark 1:39-42
Now a leper came to Him, imploring Him, kneeling down to Him and saying to Him, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.”
Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”
As soon as He had spoken, immediately the leprosy left him, and he was cleansed.
It is not what we can do. It is what He has done and what He is doing in and through us.
- God gives you the will and the desire to do.
- how hard is it for a hungry man to eat? Life in Christ is like that! :D
- Hebrews 13:20-21
Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
You are holy, that's why you want to liva a holy life. How?
Christ is our all in all
- righteousness, wisdom and holiness
There's one thing that He seeks from you. He wants your love.
Song of songs 4:10
How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
- This is God telling you how beautiful your love and worship of Him is.
He loves the love that we have for Him.
God's desire is for me.
It's not about how to be intimate with God. Just be intimate with Him. (you're already in Him)
"I am my beloved and His desire is toward me" (Song of songs 7:10)
He who is extraoridnary is in you. That's why you are no longer ordinary.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Almost MJ
I'm been thinking why I like MJ's music videos. Why am I attracted to the music and dance although I'm adverse to the man now?
I think rawness is compelling isn't it? It's so there. It's well, so raw that there's no niceties about it. Almost daring one to accept it. Like some of L'arc-en-ciel's music. Passion, even in it's human form, taunts and is charismatic.
Well, here's a video se7en doing MJ.
I think rawness is compelling isn't it? It's so there. It's well, so raw that there's no niceties about it. Almost daring one to accept it. Like some of L'arc-en-ciel's music. Passion, even in it's human form, taunts and is charismatic.
Well, here's a video se7en doing MJ.
Worship
Who is there like You Lord?
Worship...it's not just 'cos Jesus is Lord and He is mighty and good.
Worship is deeper than that. Worship is adoration.
Adoration so intense that we just fall before Him.
A love so compelling that we cannot help but desire Him.
Desire.
Desiring the Lord with every fibre of one's being?
At times, it resonates deeply within, especially in times of worship. And the intensity is like diving deep.
And I just know how good He is to me, how much He desires me and loves me.
We can't help ourselves but adore Him! Like falling in love. How can one control love?
My Lord and Saviour, my God and King.
Worship so intense that it's exhausting and yet so satisfying. There is something so intimate when God touches my heart. Sometimes, I feel His delight when I tell Him, "I love You."
Like how a Lover would delight to have His love reciprocrated.
Worship. It's beyond understanding. It's being filled to the brim, to overflowing, receiving in the Spirit something - His love and more! O, I don't know how to express it!
I'm just so thankful that the Lord wanted me. Went out to look for me. Without Him, I can't imagine how life would be. Without Him, I would have been without hope, living life, deluding myself with material goods, intellectual pursuits, an independent lifestyle - yet in all these, at the end of the day, is only emptiness and ashes.
One can delude oneself. But the night forces one to face stark reality, if one chooses to be really honest.
'Cos I've lived that life and it's so futile.
To live is Christ.
What is life otherwise?
The heart of it, the intoxication of life, the pleasures and true satisfaction is found in Christ alone. Nothing else matters. Nothing else but Jesus. Without God, I am lost, blinded, meandering about life with a passive sense of hopelessness and inevitability.
Having tasted His love, seen His passion, O Lord, I just want to go so much deeper into You!
Worship...it's not just 'cos Jesus is Lord and He is mighty and good.
Worship is deeper than that. Worship is adoration.
Adoration so intense that we just fall before Him.
A love so compelling that we cannot help but desire Him.
Desire.
Desiring the Lord with every fibre of one's being?
At times, it resonates deeply within, especially in times of worship. And the intensity is like diving deep.
And I just know how good He is to me, how much He desires me and loves me.
We can't help ourselves but adore Him! Like falling in love. How can one control love?
My Lord and Saviour, my God and King.
Worship so intense that it's exhausting and yet so satisfying. There is something so intimate when God touches my heart. Sometimes, I feel His delight when I tell Him, "I love You."
Like how a Lover would delight to have His love reciprocrated.
Worship. It's beyond understanding. It's being filled to the brim, to overflowing, receiving in the Spirit something - His love and more! O, I don't know how to express it!
I'm just so thankful that the Lord wanted me. Went out to look for me. Without Him, I can't imagine how life would be. Without Him, I would have been without hope, living life, deluding myself with material goods, intellectual pursuits, an independent lifestyle - yet in all these, at the end of the day, is only emptiness and ashes.
One can delude oneself. But the night forces one to face stark reality, if one chooses to be really honest.
'Cos I've lived that life and it's so futile.
To live is Christ.
What is life otherwise?
The heart of it, the intoxication of life, the pleasures and true satisfaction is found in Christ alone. Nothing else matters. Nothing else but Jesus. Without God, I am lost, blinded, meandering about life with a passive sense of hopelessness and inevitability.
Having tasted His love, seen His passion, O Lord, I just want to go so much deeper into You!
Purity
Truth is so pure, it cuts straight through.
It cannot be denied - in fact, it takes effort to be denied.
Truth is so pure, it speaks straight to the heart. It is light itself. It is life!
It is spiritual. And the more 'spiritual' or rather, the more we come into a revelation of the purity of the truth, it is so practical.
Holiness is not airy fairy. It is real, it is weighty. It is glorious.
Truth is in Christ Jesus alone!
Far above, far above.
Standards so high that it is only by blood that we are able to come before God.
Washed as white as snow - purity.
Lord, it's only by Your grace
that I can worship in this place
O what a great privilege
to know You face to face
There is no one else like You
No one else as beautiful as You
No one else can compare to You
All I want is to worship You!
(by Joshua Lee, NCC)
it's only by Your grace...
worship..
great privilege..
to know (intimacy).. face to face...
no one like You...as beautiful.. can be compared..
I wonder if I'm able to appreciate the majesty, beauty, loveliness, purity, awesomeness of His grace, His magnificence, His loving kindness and mercy towards me.
How am I able to stand before His throne?
But to see Him is to love Him.
To fall before Him in worship and adoration!
It cannot be denied - in fact, it takes effort to be denied.
Truth is so pure, it speaks straight to the heart. It is light itself. It is life!
It is spiritual. And the more 'spiritual' or rather, the more we come into a revelation of the purity of the truth, it is so practical.
Holiness is not airy fairy. It is real, it is weighty. It is glorious.
Truth is in Christ Jesus alone!
Far above, far above.
Standards so high that it is only by blood that we are able to come before God.
Washed as white as snow - purity.
Lord, it's only by Your grace
that I can worship in this place
O what a great privilege
to know You face to face
There is no one else like You
No one else as beautiful as You
No one else can compare to You
All I want is to worship You!
(by Joshua Lee, NCC)
it's only by Your grace...
worship..
great privilege..
to know (intimacy).. face to face...
no one like You...as beautiful.. can be compared..
I wonder if I'm able to appreciate the majesty, beauty, loveliness, purity, awesomeness of His grace, His magnificence, His loving kindness and mercy towards me.
How am I able to stand before His throne?
But to see Him is to love Him.
To fall before Him in worship and adoration!
Sacrifice
Lord I thank you for Your sacrifice
Yes Lord I thank you
You're the giver of my life and
Lord I praise You
I honour You
Lord I love You
You're my exceeding great reward
Lord I exalt You
I honour You
Worship is so awesome. And it always moves me when I think of Jesus who offered Himself as my sacrifice.
He became a sacrifice that I may have life! He is the GIVER of my life!
When we were singing this song today, I had a flashback of myself at home, lazing about, being bored with life, wonder wandering.. and I'm reminded, hey, I have a life to live! And this life was by His sacrifice!
There's something about meditating on Jesus being the sacrificial lamb 'cos when I look at Him on the cross, I see His love for me unto death. And His love always gives me the strength to do, to live FOR Him.
Otherwise, there's no meaning to life.
But with Him, is fullness of life!
Lord I praise You
You're the giver of my life
Yes Lord I praise You
You're the lover of my soul
Lord I praise You
I honour You
Lover of my soul.
It's not a touchy feely feeling. It goes deep, like laser into one's heart. Sometimes, I don't know why I cry. It's more than being moved. I guess it's like a hug. Not a physical hug. No, it's more than like a hug. It's like one's soul and spirit is enveloped in His being.
Sacrifice. How can I look on His bleeding body and His scourging and not remember that His heart's desire is for me. Truely, it is The Passion. This is what passion is.
Yes Lord I thank you
You're the giver of my life and
Lord I praise You
I honour You
Lord I love You
You're my exceeding great reward
Lord I exalt You
I honour You
Worship is so awesome. And it always moves me when I think of Jesus who offered Himself as my sacrifice.
He became a sacrifice that I may have life! He is the GIVER of my life!
When we were singing this song today, I had a flashback of myself at home, lazing about, being bored with life, wonder wandering.. and I'm reminded, hey, I have a life to live! And this life was by His sacrifice!
There's something about meditating on Jesus being the sacrificial lamb 'cos when I look at Him on the cross, I see His love for me unto death. And His love always gives me the strength to do, to live FOR Him.
Otherwise, there's no meaning to life.
But with Him, is fullness of life!
Lord I praise You
You're the giver of my life
Yes Lord I praise You
You're the lover of my soul
Lord I praise You
I honour You
Lover of my soul.
It's not a touchy feely feeling. It goes deep, like laser into one's heart. Sometimes, I don't know why I cry. It's more than being moved. I guess it's like a hug. Not a physical hug. No, it's more than like a hug. It's like one's soul and spirit is enveloped in His being.
Sacrifice. How can I look on His bleeding body and His scourging and not remember that His heart's desire is for me. Truely, it is The Passion. This is what passion is.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Beauty of submission
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 1 Peter 3:3-6
Abba is not asking us to keep quiet, 'woman should be seen and not heard' silly practice. :)
But look what it says, "a gentle and quiet spirit" I believe, this is referring to the state of the heart rather than an outward behaviour. The Word talks about it as being "the hidden person of the heart" For that is where one's true self lies.
Oftimes, people who are angry are people who are hurt. But instead of saying or admitting they are hurt, they become angry. It is not that they choose to be angry but their expression is anger, whereas it's true root is hurt.
There was once when I was angry and had to force myself to take a step back, step out mentally from the situation to detach my emotions and analyse them. And knowing it's root allows me to defuse my own anger rather quickly.
Complaining is also another symptom. I've realised it's saying, "I deserve better. You should... You ought to.. should have known. How could I? I'm already... I've did my part..." Basically, it's finger-pointing and it stems out of a very Me spirit.
The Word calls us to be longsuffering - which really, is impossible by human standards.
But to be able to see objectively (I think it's somewhat a gift from God - I think!) I'm appalled at my own behaviour when I move to observe as a third person.
Conversely, there is a beauty in submission. Because submission is not about being below/beneath someone, it is about choice.
The issue really is about giving honour.
And it's up to you, yet it's really not, to choose to give honour to your parents, your boss, your ministry leaders, your elder siblings, your clients, etc.. At times submission is not because of who the person is (i.e. respect) but his/her position. 'Cos if I only submit to a person I respect in the natural, then it's not submission is it? But I find that when I submit to the position, I find a 'supernatural' respect for that person in my heart that I would ordinarily find it hard to have if I go by the natural and judge by one's words and actions.
What do I mean?
For months last year, I struggled with this issue of submission to my boss at work and my parents at home. And I told the Lord that it's hypocritical if it's only outward and Lord, you change my heart! You write upon it! And for months there was no answer.
I tell you when the breakthrough came.. and you shall see the importance of words.
Remember The quarrel with my dad in my previous post "Humility"? I can tell you the exact moment (the trigger) when the floodgates threatened to burst. He was referring to a trekking trip that I did about 5-6 years back. It was when my dad said, "You were so treasured by us yet you insisted to go on that trekking trip. We thought, why should we care when you don't care about yourself? You were my lover's precious daughter and you decided to go even when we kept saying no."
I'm paraphrasing above, and it's a little toned-down. But what really moved me were the words in italics.
I guess I always saw my dad and mum as The Parents. I never heard him use such words before - especially you know, in a traditional chinese family. But the words that he used were passionate - with, love and hurt. And I do believe that somehow, the Lord allowed him to articulate the true feelings he had inside 'cos my dad never says such things. :)
You know the Proverbs 31 woman? She's like that because her husband praises her and that really helps in submission.
Giving honour to one's parents and one's boss at work is really a beautiful and joyful practise to me (and I'm still learning!) Because I knew from whence I came. I'm stubborn and hard-headed, rational and logical, educated and independent. And I liked the way I was. And I thought others should be taught to see the way I see - that there's a better way in doing things...
So to turn 180 degrees, that can only come from the Lord. And I am touched when I submit and give honour because I know this heart of mine, is not by my own doing or choice - yet it is my choice that I can willingly do so. It evolves more and more, from a conscious choice to a lifestyle and a flow. I am touched and moved because it's a reminder that the Lord is working in me, diligently and faithfully, transforming me through the power of His Word and His love.
Really, it's to sit at His feet and just receive and receive even though there may not be any results yet. I've been talking to Abba on this issue of submission for close to a year. And I've realised, only when I have received, will I be able to give to others.
It is not only to people who are in positions that 'require' submission. Submission is also to one another. To one's peers. Only then can we truely bear in love.
There's a beauty in submission which is both strong and wise, gracious and compassionate. It is like still waters that run deep, like a glorious sunrise of greater things to come.
Unlike the world which has 7 steps for better habits, 3 steps to lose weight etc... Enjoy Daddy's love and give honour to the people who matter.
As for the rest (of good success), I'm waiting with anticipation to see.
Abba is not asking us to keep quiet, 'woman should be seen and not heard' silly practice. :)
But look what it says, "a gentle and quiet spirit" I believe, this is referring to the state of the heart rather than an outward behaviour. The Word talks about it as being "the hidden person of the heart" For that is where one's true self lies.
Oftimes, people who are angry are people who are hurt. But instead of saying or admitting they are hurt, they become angry. It is not that they choose to be angry but their expression is anger, whereas it's true root is hurt.
There was once when I was angry and had to force myself to take a step back, step out mentally from the situation to detach my emotions and analyse them. And knowing it's root allows me to defuse my own anger rather quickly.
Complaining is also another symptom. I've realised it's saying, "I deserve better. You should... You ought to.. should have known. How could I? I'm already... I've did my part..." Basically, it's finger-pointing and it stems out of a very Me spirit.
The Word calls us to be longsuffering - which really, is impossible by human standards.
But to be able to see objectively (I think it's somewhat a gift from God - I think!) I'm appalled at my own behaviour when I move to observe as a third person.
Conversely, there is a beauty in submission. Because submission is not about being below/beneath someone, it is about choice.
The issue really is about giving honour.
And it's up to you, yet it's really not, to choose to give honour to your parents, your boss, your ministry leaders, your elder siblings, your clients, etc.. At times submission is not because of who the person is (i.e. respect) but his/her position. 'Cos if I only submit to a person I respect in the natural, then it's not submission is it? But I find that when I submit to the position, I find a 'supernatural' respect for that person in my heart that I would ordinarily find it hard to have if I go by the natural and judge by one's words and actions.
What do I mean?
For months last year, I struggled with this issue of submission to my boss at work and my parents at home. And I told the Lord that it's hypocritical if it's only outward and Lord, you change my heart! You write upon it! And for months there was no answer.
I tell you when the breakthrough came.. and you shall see the importance of words.
Remember The quarrel with my dad in my previous post "Humility"? I can tell you the exact moment (the trigger) when the floodgates threatened to burst. He was referring to a trekking trip that I did about 5-6 years back. It was when my dad said, "You were so treasured by us yet you insisted to go on that trekking trip. We thought, why should we care when you don't care about yourself? You were my lover's precious daughter and you decided to go even when we kept saying no."
I'm paraphrasing above, and it's a little toned-down. But what really moved me were the words in italics.
I guess I always saw my dad and mum as The Parents. I never heard him use such words before - especially you know, in a traditional chinese family. But the words that he used were passionate - with, love and hurt. And I do believe that somehow, the Lord allowed him to articulate the true feelings he had inside 'cos my dad never says such things. :)
You know the Proverbs 31 woman? She's like that because her husband praises her and that really helps in submission.
Giving honour to one's parents and one's boss at work is really a beautiful and joyful practise to me (and I'm still learning!) Because I knew from whence I came. I'm stubborn and hard-headed, rational and logical, educated and independent. And I liked the way I was. And I thought others should be taught to see the way I see - that there's a better way in doing things...
So to turn 180 degrees, that can only come from the Lord. And I am touched when I submit and give honour because I know this heart of mine, is not by my own doing or choice - yet it is my choice that I can willingly do so. It evolves more and more, from a conscious choice to a lifestyle and a flow. I am touched and moved because it's a reminder that the Lord is working in me, diligently and faithfully, transforming me through the power of His Word and His love.
Really, it's to sit at His feet and just receive and receive even though there may not be any results yet. I've been talking to Abba on this issue of submission for close to a year. And I've realised, only when I have received, will I be able to give to others.
It is not only to people who are in positions that 'require' submission. Submission is also to one another. To one's peers. Only then can we truely bear in love.
There's a beauty in submission which is both strong and wise, gracious and compassionate. It is like still waters that run deep, like a glorious sunrise of greater things to come.
Unlike the world which has 7 steps for better habits, 3 steps to lose weight etc... Enjoy Daddy's love and give honour to the people who matter.
As for the rest (of good success), I'm waiting with anticipation to see.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Humility
It's strange what humility means. What the Lord showed me...
Hmm.. okay, I'll relate a rather personal incident 'cos I think it may help.
About a week ago, I quarrelled with my dad. I seldom quarrel, preferring to sulk in silence or cry to Abba. But that time, I was just angry and I just wanted to get it out with him.
Anyway, there was a point in the quarrel where I felt I was going to cry. And I quickly prayed, "O Lord, let me not cry! Not now!" 'cos I didn't want to be seen as weak. And at that moment, there was a flashback of a memory of me as a child. I remembered my dad telling me (what most parents still tell their kids sometimes), "If you cry some more, I'll beat you."
Now, I've got to say that my dad loves me very much. More than I feel I deserve to be loved actually 'cos I realised now that I've hurt them a lot. And I know my parents are human and not perfect. Probably at that time when he said that, he was just trying to stop me from crying/ throwing a tantrum.
But those words really sank into me. I didn't realise how much. I didn't like to be seen as vulnerable. I kept my feelings (not the happy ones, but personal hurts) close to my heart. I refused to show weakness and submission before my parents in disagreements, preferring to retreat into stony silences and later on, indifference.
I've heard someone say before that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. And before this long-bottled outburst, we've just been burying our past hurts by silence and communicate through cutting words or facial expressions. It really hurt me but I wanted to remain strong and my defence was indifference.
So there I was, to my horror, on the verge of tears. Quick prayer to the Lord and I felt Abba reassure me, "Don't hold it in. Why are you afraid to be vulnerable?" And then I crumbled and cried in front of my dad.
One moment we were shouting at each other and the next moment I was sobbing. 'Cos on one hand I felt so hurt and sad and on the other hand, I realised that I've hurt my dad deeply too and I didn't even know. We had a most honest and open conversation we ever had in years.
And I felt that God, at that moment, in that quarrel (which was a bad thing in the natural) - the Lord reached out and into me and broke something within me. Something I didn't even know that I held on to and shaped my character. He broke my pride.
When the Lord does it, oh, I don't know how to say it. It like something hard like glass that I had unknowingly nurtured in my heart, shattered. And Jesus came and swept away all the little bits. It's been a week, and suddenly, it became so natural to talk to my parents without the 'usual' impatience. It became a joy to consciously call them many times a day, "Papa" and "Mummy" (even though I'm 27 years young! LOL). I even wanted to cultivate the habit of calling them on their handphone, when in the past I tried to avoid communication unless necessary. It's 'suddenly' lovely to try to look out for things that I could do for them - even the little things which I used to purposely overlook. Like giving up the living room TV so they can watch football instead of saying, "you can also watch it upstairs"; answering their questions in detail and sharing my life with them instead of answering, "I'm going out with friends" (period)
I think humility is when the Lord makes one's heart soft. Soft to give generously love and compassion, to lend a listening ear, to give a cheerful smile; soft to be willing to overlook slights and ability to truely empathize. Soft to people who matter. Soft in the sense of being willing to be open and vulnerable. Soft so that one's heart is fertile to plant those seeds of love. Open enough to cry without shame, to love without fear, to hurt and still love willingly, joyfully.
There's so much I have to learn. So much time that I have to make up for - for my callous actions to my parents in the past. I'm so grateful that it is the Lord who teaches me, lovingly. So wonderful that just one touch from God, things just change.
Both my parents and myself are learning. I can see God moving in my family life. It is not so much that my parents have to change then I'll change. Love - a revelation of that love of God shed abroad in my heart really changes perspective. Love loves regardless and unconditionally. Do I still get affected? Of course I do sometimes. But it's wonderful how He writes on my heart. Where once I used to get irritated and short with them, now I just smile and 'sigh' in my heart, look up to heaven (within me of course and not with my physical eyes) and mutter, "Lord, patience!" And He gives! And it becomes easy to bear in love. It even becomes cheerful - like rejoicing in 'tribulation'.
Doesn't make sense does it? Only with the Lord! Only by His grace! Only when He is the one writing on this heart of flesh!
Hmm.. okay, I'll relate a rather personal incident 'cos I think it may help.
About a week ago, I quarrelled with my dad. I seldom quarrel, preferring to sulk in silence or cry to Abba. But that time, I was just angry and I just wanted to get it out with him.
Anyway, there was a point in the quarrel where I felt I was going to cry. And I quickly prayed, "O Lord, let me not cry! Not now!" 'cos I didn't want to be seen as weak. And at that moment, there was a flashback of a memory of me as a child. I remembered my dad telling me (what most parents still tell their kids sometimes), "If you cry some more, I'll beat you."
Now, I've got to say that my dad loves me very much. More than I feel I deserve to be loved actually 'cos I realised now that I've hurt them a lot. And I know my parents are human and not perfect. Probably at that time when he said that, he was just trying to stop me from crying/ throwing a tantrum.
But those words really sank into me. I didn't realise how much. I didn't like to be seen as vulnerable. I kept my feelings (not the happy ones, but personal hurts) close to my heart. I refused to show weakness and submission before my parents in disagreements, preferring to retreat into stony silences and later on, indifference.
I've heard someone say before that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. And before this long-bottled outburst, we've just been burying our past hurts by silence and communicate through cutting words or facial expressions. It really hurt me but I wanted to remain strong and my defence was indifference.
So there I was, to my horror, on the verge of tears. Quick prayer to the Lord and I felt Abba reassure me, "Don't hold it in. Why are you afraid to be vulnerable?" And then I crumbled and cried in front of my dad.
One moment we were shouting at each other and the next moment I was sobbing. 'Cos on one hand I felt so hurt and sad and on the other hand, I realised that I've hurt my dad deeply too and I didn't even know. We had a most honest and open conversation we ever had in years.
And I felt that God, at that moment, in that quarrel (which was a bad thing in the natural) - the Lord reached out and into me and broke something within me. Something I didn't even know that I held on to and shaped my character. He broke my pride.
When the Lord does it, oh, I don't know how to say it. It like something hard like glass that I had unknowingly nurtured in my heart, shattered. And Jesus came and swept away all the little bits. It's been a week, and suddenly, it became so natural to talk to my parents without the 'usual' impatience. It became a joy to consciously call them many times a day, "Papa" and "Mummy" (even though I'm 27 years young! LOL). I even wanted to cultivate the habit of calling them on their handphone, when in the past I tried to avoid communication unless necessary. It's 'suddenly' lovely to try to look out for things that I could do for them - even the little things which I used to purposely overlook. Like giving up the living room TV so they can watch football instead of saying, "you can also watch it upstairs"; answering their questions in detail and sharing my life with them instead of answering, "I'm going out with friends" (period)
I think humility is when the Lord makes one's heart soft. Soft to give generously love and compassion, to lend a listening ear, to give a cheerful smile; soft to be willing to overlook slights and ability to truely empathize. Soft to people who matter. Soft in the sense of being willing to be open and vulnerable. Soft so that one's heart is fertile to plant those seeds of love. Open enough to cry without shame, to love without fear, to hurt and still love willingly, joyfully.
There's so much I have to learn. So much time that I have to make up for - for my callous actions to my parents in the past. I'm so grateful that it is the Lord who teaches me, lovingly. So wonderful that just one touch from God, things just change.
Both my parents and myself are learning. I can see God moving in my family life. It is not so much that my parents have to change then I'll change. Love - a revelation of that love of God shed abroad in my heart really changes perspective. Love loves regardless and unconditionally. Do I still get affected? Of course I do sometimes. But it's wonderful how He writes on my heart. Where once I used to get irritated and short with them, now I just smile and 'sigh' in my heart, look up to heaven (within me of course and not with my physical eyes) and mutter, "Lord, patience!" And He gives! And it becomes easy to bear in love. It even becomes cheerful - like rejoicing in 'tribulation'.
Doesn't make sense does it? Only with the Lord! Only by His grace! Only when He is the one writing on this heart of flesh!
Monday, June 19, 2006
PK 2 Camp!
God is AWESOME!
What can I say? I so enjoyed myself - the kids, the worship (especially!) and the message!
There was one time during worship and Abba's love was just pouring down and behind me was a boy who had low IQ singing loudly and passionately, and in a world that could so easily rejected one such as he, at that moment, hearing his voice just worshipping God, just opened a floodgate within me. I felt the Lord loving him so so much and delighted in his off-key singing because the boy is His boy.
How wonderful is the Lord who is able to love the unlovables, see beyond the physical and embrace the beauty and purity within! What a privilege to be shown by the Lord - to be able to see the way that He sees! Unblemished, beautiful and a delight to His soul!
The children! What energy! I've learnt from the kids that leadership is not just being the loudest. It is about being steadfast and dependable. I've learnt to let go and not tell the kids what to do all the time - that they have to experience it for themselves to learn. Yet I make sure I am always around to ensure their safety - making sure they cross the road properly, that they don't get lost, trying to include everyone in the activities; yet loving enough to stand aside and allow them to make their own decisions, allowing them to make small mistakes; praying that I'll be wise enough to minister to them His shalom and love.
It's so enjoyable! I felt like a kid again!
And to be placed in a position where Abba speaks to me personally, "See how much I love them? They're gems to me," and then to be a conduit of that love. If only we knew how much we are loved!
I wanna go next year!
What can I say? I so enjoyed myself - the kids, the worship (especially!) and the message!
There was one time during worship and Abba's love was just pouring down and behind me was a boy who had low IQ singing loudly and passionately, and in a world that could so easily rejected one such as he, at that moment, hearing his voice just worshipping God, just opened a floodgate within me. I felt the Lord loving him so so much and delighted in his off-key singing because the boy is His boy.
How wonderful is the Lord who is able to love the unlovables, see beyond the physical and embrace the beauty and purity within! What a privilege to be shown by the Lord - to be able to see the way that He sees! Unblemished, beautiful and a delight to His soul!
The children! What energy! I've learnt from the kids that leadership is not just being the loudest. It is about being steadfast and dependable. I've learnt to let go and not tell the kids what to do all the time - that they have to experience it for themselves to learn. Yet I make sure I am always around to ensure their safety - making sure they cross the road properly, that they don't get lost, trying to include everyone in the activities; yet loving enough to stand aside and allow them to make their own decisions, allowing them to make small mistakes; praying that I'll be wise enough to minister to them His shalom and love.
It's so enjoyable! I felt like a kid again!
And to be placed in a position where Abba speaks to me personally, "See how much I love them? They're gems to me," and then to be a conduit of that love. If only we knew how much we are loved!
I wanna go next year!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Softly now
Listening to some worship songs on my way home.
Was in a Christian bookstore today, and they had a small section for merchandise. And the name Jesus in nice calligraphic writing.
So beautiful to look upon His name, that I couldn't help tracing His name with my finger.
Recalling that snippet of a memory while listening to the lines "Jesus, You alone are holy; You alone are worthy, Jesus, the name above all names.."
Then I started singing, Jesus.
Saying His name, Jesus.
Softly now, repeatedly, savouring the sound, the way my lips pronounce His name. Slowly whispering to myself.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Yeshua, Yeshua, Yeshua.
My Lord and King.
What a lovely, beautiful name...
How it calms me.
Your name is on my lips
Your love I can't resist
got to be with You wherever You are
I want You memorised
so when I close my eyes
All I've got to do
is keep loving You
by heart
I want to keep on loving You Lord. Keep on being madly, passionately, contentedly, overwhelmingly in love with You. Romance me, pursue me, help me, save me, assure me, affirm me, comfort me, teach me, lead me, be my Saviour, my God, my King, my friend, my Lord!
So loved! I can't contain it!
So much I've got to give it away!
Your love has taught me to live now
You are more than enough for me! (lyrics deliberately changed :))
Jesus! You are my destiny!
I wanted to start this blog post softly in worship but it ended up in praise! LOL
To keep Your lovely face
Ever before my eyes
This is my prayer
Make it my one desire!
That in my secret heart
No other love competes
No rival throne survives
and I serve only You.
Was in a Christian bookstore today, and they had a small section for merchandise. And the name Jesus in nice calligraphic writing.
So beautiful to look upon His name, that I couldn't help tracing His name with my finger.
Recalling that snippet of a memory while listening to the lines "Jesus, You alone are holy; You alone are worthy, Jesus, the name above all names.."
Then I started singing, Jesus.
Saying His name, Jesus.
Softly now, repeatedly, savouring the sound, the way my lips pronounce His name. Slowly whispering to myself.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Yeshua, Yeshua, Yeshua.
My Lord and King.
What a lovely, beautiful name...
How it calms me.
Your name is on my lips
Your love I can't resist
got to be with You wherever You are
I want You memorised
so when I close my eyes
All I've got to do
is keep loving You
by heart
I want to keep on loving You Lord. Keep on being madly, passionately, contentedly, overwhelmingly in love with You. Romance me, pursue me, help me, save me, assure me, affirm me, comfort me, teach me, lead me, be my Saviour, my God, my King, my friend, my Lord!
So loved! I can't contain it!
So much I've got to give it away!
Your love has taught me to live now
You are more than enough for me! (lyrics deliberately changed :))
Jesus! You are my destiny!
I wanted to start this blog post softly in worship but it ended up in praise! LOL
To keep Your lovely face
Ever before my eyes
This is my prayer
Make it my one desire!
That in my secret heart
No other love competes
No rival throne survives
and I serve only You.
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