Helplessly

An excerpt from the song Dwelling Places by Miriam Webster

Thirsty I come after You
Jesus my joy, my reward
Your love's restoring my soul
Now I'm Yours and You are mine
And from my heart a song will rise

I love You, I love You, I love You
I love You, I love You, I love You
I love You, I love You, I love You
And my heart will follow wholly after You

This song and the song in the previous entry titled "Awe" is from one of my favourite worship CDs that a brother got for me for my birthday. It's a testimony itself! :) He was shopping for a gift but didn't know what songs I liked, so he asked Abba and got this!

Anyway, I love this song. It's located in the middle of the CD, so by this time, it's like I'm in the Holy of holies, in His presence. I love this stanza. How many times I become thirsty - it's often those times when we are feeling bored - but then I come to my Jesus, I come to Him because He refreshes me. In His presence, there is fullness of joy. In His presence, there is life!

He restores my soul with a reminder of His awesome love. Wow. Amazing love, how can it be? That You my King would die for me? And sometimes, I get a glimspe of that love and it overwhelms me. I feel like falling to my knees but I have to control myself. In the face of such love, when Jesus willingly became the sacrificial lamb... I see the demonstration of His love for me on the cross. On the cross, there my Lord hangs, for me alone.

These thoughts are rushing through my mind - I can barely comprehend or pause to think. Yet my soul, my spirit, in my heart - there it grips me. And when the chorus comes, it is from that revelation that we sing, "I love You, I love You, I love You.. I love You, I love You, I love You!"

You know the commandment that God gave - "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your might."

Something within me cringe. How am I to love, with all my heart, all my soul, all my might? How am I able to? To love God perfectly? And I thought it wasn't a fair commandment. I mean, it's sad isn't it? How can you command someone to love you? Isn't love supposed to be freely given?

You see, I've heard some preachers preach that way, and it scares me 'cos I can't love God like that!

But you know what? As I sang this song, as I turn my focus, not on how much I must love Him, but how much He has loved me. Oh, how much my Jesus loved me! How He chose to go to the cross for me, how He chose to go through the scourging for me! He had a choice you know, to leave and go back - but no, He chose not to. How can we ever comprehend a holy God to carry the sins of the world - sins of rape, murder, incest, torture - of the whole world, of peoples past and present - a God who knew no sin to become sin itself.

I see Him on that cross and the refrain from a beloved song comes to mind.. "I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sins upon that cross.. I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sins upon that cross......

So here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You're my God. You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me..."

As I saw the cross afreshed, as if it just happened and I see my Jesus, my Saviour hanging on the cross, I saw His love for me. I am moved and tears fill my eyes. Then I sing, "I love You, I love You, I love You!" How easy it is to say it then. 'Cos you see, I'm helpless. Helpless to say otherwise. Helplessly in love. Against all my selfish desires, my ego, my material needs or whatever, to see the cross, to really see and have a revelation of the cross is to be helplessly in love with Him.

How easy it is then, to love such a beautiful Saviour, all wonderful and glorious, clothed in strength and beauty - how easy it is to love Him, how I want to love Him, to give everything of myself to Him who gave everything of Himself to me - oh what a privilege to love Him with all my heart, all my soul, with all my might!

We love, because He first loved us...