Oasis - times of refreshing!

This morning, I read this passage,

Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert
The beast of the field will honor Me,
The jackals and the ostriches,
Because I give waters in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert,
To give drink to My people, My chosen.
This people I have formed for Myself;
They shall declare My praise.

Isaiah 43:18-21

It struck me because Pastor Prince was preaching the New Creation. Read more about it from this lovely blog In Christ Alone: Reign In Life - Part I: Behold I Make All Things New

and just after that, we had our Oasis meeting. You know, when Gabriel gave that Word, and Pastor concurred, that the Oasis ministry is going to impact the world, something inside me said yes! With eager anticipation, and trembling... :D

v19 Behold, I will do a new thing

When I read this line, I'm reminded of a scene in the Passion. The part when Jesus was carrying the cross. It was already after the scourging, and He was struggling to carry the cross in the midst of a mocking crowd. Mary, His mother was able to finally meet Him for a brief moment. She reached His side as He fell again under the cross, and He looked up at her and said, "Look mother, I make all things new."

He made all things new.. We are a new creation, at a great price. And it was Abba's desire, so dear are we to Him that He sacrificed His only beloved Son for us.


The world is a wilderness, fallen and tragic, full of transient temporary pleasures of deceitful sweetness; confusing, large and wild. But in the midst of this, He has already made a road; He is the Way.

And even in the desert, where dryness is all around, and nothing satisfies, He has come to quench our thirst, to give waters in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

For His people, His chosen. Can you imagine being chosen by Him? Created for Him? Sometimes I would think back and say to myself, how blessed I am to have found Jesus. But really, I realised that it is not that I have found Him, it is He who has found me. That I have been destined and chosen before time to be in His family.

That really touches me 'cos I realise that when I was in my sins - sometimes, when I recall the past, I see how unworthy I am, like a squalling babe, like a dirty harlot by the street. Yet He came by and had compassion on me, and loved me. He offered Himself to me, I don't know how many times He tried to reach me these 15 years after I turned deliberately away from Him. But He still waited for me to turn back to Him. He never left me even though I forsook Him.

And after I committed so many mistakes, I still thought I was very smart, a very knowing modern woman of the world. And He still waited. Somehow or other, I don't know how, He managed to reach past the darkness of my mind, into my heart and just touched me and then I knew that He's not just a religion. That despite everything, there was Someone who loved me unconditionally.

The moment I turned back, like the prodigal son, He didn't wait for me to apologise or whatever, but just rushed towards me, to embrace me in His love. And after that, I just know that in these 2 years, it's not so much I pursuing Him, but that He still pursues me with His love.

I didn't choose Him. He chose me for His own, for Himself. How wondrous is that!

Can't live a day without You

On the way to church today, I was 'stoning' in the bus, and this song came to me :)

It's You
You who have won my heart
Taken me into Your arms
Comforted me like a friend

Your love,
Surrounded me from the start
I never want to be apart
From You ever again


The journey back to Jesus is so precious to me. I have lived life without Him and I have lived life with Him. And let me tell You, the present is oh so much sweeter. Even as I looked back on my past, I see His faithfulness in my life - at a time when I was in denial. I am the most 'intellectual' person I know then, and I simply could not 'figure' Christianity out.

Now, looking back, there is no way to know God with my head. I only am able to know Him with my heart. At times, He's the only sure person I can cling on. The rock that I hold on to and rest in.

Have you ever felt desperate for Him? I have! Sometimes, He seems so far, but actually He's very close. Sometimes, I just want to get closer still but don't know how. Then I just pray in tongues, or just say His name over and over again, and speak His Word, and yes, sometimes I sing too!


I could live life alone
And never fill the longings of my heart
The healing warmth of someone's arms
And I could live without dreams
And never know the thrill of what could be
With every star so far and out of reach
I could live without many things
And I could carry on, but...

I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's no morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without You

I could travel the world
See all the wonders beautiful and new
They'd only make me think of You
And I could have all life offers
Riches that were far beyond compare
To grant my every wish without a care
Oh, I could do anything, oh yes
But if You weren't in it all...

I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's no morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without You

Oh, Jesus, I live because You live
You're like the air I breathe
Oh, Jesus, I have because You give
You're everything to me



From Avalon

Feeling the rhythm

This afternoon I watched a movie called "Innocent steps" This is a dance romance with some touching moments. Ballroom dancing...

Ohhh.. I'm envious. The couple looked really good together. And his posture is really suave and dashing. And she, is petite and endearing. Naturally, they progressively fall in love and after some difficulty, live almost happily ever after. :)

He's a professional dance sports competitor and trainer and she's a newbie with only a little dance background. Nevertheless, she works really hard and does everything that he tells her to. In a particular scene, they're going through the steps, but it doesn't 'click'. And he's angry with her 'cos she doesn't get the rhythm. She pleads with him to teach her how, as with all the other times.

Instead, he asks her, "Do you love me?"

Okay, guys, hold on to your goosepimples, it's not as brrrr as it sounds.

She stumped. As was I as I was watching. Like, '??? so direct?'

But he continues.. he says, "When we dance, you are in love with me... as I love you."

Sigh. Which is one of the reasons why you see most professional dance couples married to each other. It reminded me of one of the 'criteria' I asked Abba months and months ago.. you guessed it? That he can dance. And also one of the reasons I didn't pursue dance seriously.

Anyway, why did I bring this scene up on my blog?

Well, I was thinking about this particular scene as I ate my prawn and chicken salad topped with mango, kiwi, dragon fruit and strawberry toppings (so says the menu).. :D

At first, they were going through the steps, the motions, without feeling the music, the rhythm - i.e. no chemistry in the dance.

Hmm.. it just reminded me of my walk in life.

I don't dance through life alone. After accepting Christ, I'll never walk alone again. I'm with Him, He's with me all the time.

But, to be able to move in sync with Him, to enjoy the dance and the music of life, well, it's not about doing the good things, it's not only about loving others.. to feel the rhythm, it's about being in love with Him.

That's the key. The consciousness where I know that I'm in love and I know that my love is reciprocrated as long as I'm alive - here in this world, and beyond.

That's how I'm able to rest in Him, and follow His lead and enjoy the dance of life! Why, to just fall in love daily with Jesus!

MInistry

Yesterday, I went for my Pastoral Care Ministry meeting. Sigh, it was wonderful! Felt so refreshed after Christina Wee's sharing.

We overcome with the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimony. There's a power in that that builds us up. Whereas in the afternoon, I'm feeling blah, but really, I love going to church, to sit under anointed teaching and preaching, in blessed fellowship - I feel it is there that I am centred and stabilised. Where things suddenly becomes clear; His Word is like a lamp to my path.

It has to be sustainable. I feel that aside from going to church and CG and ministry meetings and getting so refreshed then - well, I want to be perpetually in the oasis. The oasis is in the midst of the desert (the world). I don't want to get 'dusty'. It means that I must have a lasting consciousness of Him and not simply through association with the corporate anointing. But through a personal relationship as well.


Ministry to the Lord

Do the first things first. My first ministry is to the Lord. Doing that one thing that is needful. To drink from Him for myself. To minister to Him by receiving from Him. Just sitting at His feet and receiving and receiving and drinking and drinking. His love, His love, His wisdom, His Word for they are life! to those for find them!

I've forgotten that.

It's not a matter of how much time I practically have for ministry. Time is not a factor. For the Lord will redeem my time. He multiplies it, extends it somehow.

I'm just reminded, we are called Christians. And Christ means "the Anointed". So as Christians, we are the anointed ones. Our anointing is from Jesus Christ, found in us. The life that we live, is how Jesus would live it, because it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. As such, everything that I touch, there is victory.

Abba, I no longer want to guess how You are going to accomplish great things through me. I don't know how to comprehend, I don't know how You're going to do this. I just know that Your Word says that all the promises of God for me in Christ are yes and amen! And my future is bright and sure because of You.

Abba, I don't want to think too much but simply to act out the desires You have put into my heart. Not to rationalise andsee whether I can do it. I don't want to look to the left or to the right but to focus on You. How I need Your love Lord to fill me up again! I know, I KNOW that You love me with a passion! In my head, but Jesus, I want to feel it again, too, in my heart! I know we are supposed to walk by faith and not by sight. But Lord, I just believe that when I keep my eyes transfixed on You, keeping myself under the warm glow and embrace of the Son, why, then You loving write Your desires, my desires on my heart.


Ministering

Service in the different ministries should never be my own effort. I've learnt that when I do that, I tire quite easily. I've learnt that I have to first receive and receive and drink from the Lord, the living waters. The service that I render would then be out of the love I have received rather than an obligation.

Ministry is not volunteer work at all! It is an opportunity to serve the brethren whom Jesus so loved and gave of Himself to redeem! And yet, even as we serve, we serve from our overflow (not from our reservoir) and there is such beauty in serving! For the more we serve, the more we receive from the Lord. He gives us the grace to serve and when we do that, He rewards us for serving, through the grace that He has given to us in the first place! Praise God!

I've learnt so many things through serving and am looking forward to more!

I'm just reminded by Christina, that we don't have to look at ourselves and ask whether we are ready to serve or not. But to know that coming forward to serve is a step of faith, as long as you have the desire in your heart. As long as you have that desire, hey, it's Abba writing on Your heart. And He is more than able to minister to others through me. I'm only the earthern vessel, but I have the treasure, the Holy Spirit in me.

After the ministry meeting and during the fellowship yesterday, a brother was sharing this incident in the bible. And it's just, wow, the awesomeness of service.

He said in the multiplication of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes. The people there received the loaves and fishes and partook of them. But it was the 12 disciples who were distributing the loaves and fishes, they were the ones in the position to see the miracle. They were the ones being used by God. Whereas the people enjoyed the food, the disciples got to see the power of God doing great works!

I don't chase after signs and wonders, nor hanker after the great miracles that old testament prophets used to perform. For the people then saw the works of God, but did not understand His heart, and they turned from Him. I want to see Jesus revealed.

But isn't it an awesome thing to be used by the Lord in ministry? For the people are so close and precious to His heart. For having received and being conscious of His love for me andloving Him in return, how much more we desire to serve the people that He so dearly loves as well?

And in serving, there is a special position there.. I am moving closer to the heartbeat of the One I love. And I think that is so wonderful and precious to me. :)

The world and me

Hmm.. feeling a little philosophical today..

Reading Life, movies section today. A quote from directer Olivier Marchal, "Cinema is a place for people to dream. Movies should be more beautiful than life."

and recalled another quote,

from Shakespeare's As you like it

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts

The question is, why shouldn't life be more beautiful than the movies? Why shouldn't life be larger than life?

Imagine if we should play out our time here on earth as a stage. Afterall, we have the great Playwright FOR us, 'cos all things work together for good for those who love Him.

Do we mean it when we sing "I live to worship You"? What does it really mean?

I officially am employed again since last Sat. But after a month's hiatus, it's a little difficult to start the engine running again.

This morning, I woke up, too late for a morning meeting and felt really bad about it. Felt time is just oozing slowly past, meandering purposelessly, round and round. And I asked Abba, what happened?

I don't know about you, but sometimes I pray prayers and fear that He is not able to fulfil them - and sometimes I rather not pray. Fear is an insidious, subtle snake.

So I prayed today and dedicated today to Him, for Him to live it through me as He deems fit - my time to Him to do as He will... yet at the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "now, what do I do?"

Is surrendering everything to Him means letting go of everything, even concerns on results? Living each day with a mentality which goes, "If I perish, I perish"? It's difficult for me 'cos I want to get effective in my life to glorify God. Yet really, only God can glorify God in me, in my life. Not me.

I'm also reminded, since it's already three quarters of 2005, and looking back, I remember that it is to be a superabundant year for me as well. I'm trying to rest (what an oxymoron!) and let Him pour out His abundance so that there's not room enough to contain it.

Hmm.. do the first works. Just get absorbed again in His love for me.

A sister reminded me of this lovely song,

Amazing love, how can it be?
That You my King would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honour You
In all I do, I honour You

I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well, Your spirit lives within me
Because You died and rose again!

Just a touch

Oh.. will be quite busy this week. So gotta keep my posts short and sweet... hopefully! :)

Was serving in the nursery on Sunday. There were a few crying toddlers around. (there are no male teachers in the toddlers class)

At that age (below 2), all they know mummy isn't here anymore and they start crying. After a while, they would cry, but there were no tears in their eyes.

I take that as a sign that they are sad, but not very. They are simply expressing their disgruntment at the status quo. And some can be pretty insistent.

When I was less experienced, I was always trying so hard to convince them that everything is okay. I would try to reason with them. But toddlers don't think, they feel. (Preschoolers, 2.5-4 yrs, are more open to logic) Then, I'll try to distract them with toys, over and over again. It gets quite tiring after a while 'cos there doesn't seem to be a connection.

After some time, I finally learnt how to discern between when a tod is really sad, and when he is simply expressing his displeasure.

In the latter, he just needs reassurance. I don't need to be too 'gan cheong' and try all sort of ways.

I reassure him by touch. Sometimes, I sit him ('cos he doesn't want to be carried, still angry mah) in such a way he can lean against me if he so chooses. Then periodically, I'll stroke his arm, his forehead in reassurance, or his face, saying sometimes, "It's okay, it's okay. Matthew's a good boy. Matthew's a brave boy. Teacher loves you. Jesus loves you. Whether you're naughty or good, Jesus and mummy will always love you."

I've learnt that children, no matter how young they are, are very quick. They know when you're trying too hard. And they'll cry sometimes, all the more. Because when you're trying too hard, you're not in control, not trusting God, not resting in Him. I'm usually confident with crying babes. They just need that touch of assurance, perhaps a little distraction and a soothing voice to take their mind of mmmummmmmyyy!

Sometimes, I get too confident and rely on my experience and still the little bundle of joy wails. Then I remembered my Lord :D and cry out to Him, "Oh Lord, help me! He just can't stop crying." And sometimes, I will be led to sing in tongues to the child. It's amazing! Usually within 5 minutes, he will either stop crying or forget that he's unhappy or fall asleep! Hallelujah! :D

It's wonderful what you learn looking after babies. :)

I learnt about Abba's relationship with me, as He's taking care of me..

I've learnt about how I can approach and show care in my relationship with others. :)

Treasured

An awesome buffet today! Pastor Aage through the Holy Spirit has just given me a feast this evening! When it rains, it pours! Showers of blessings! When I have more time, maybe I'll do a summary... :)

Anyway, just like to share about the worship tonight.

There was this phrase we sang, "as we lift our hearts before You, as a token of our love"

I imagined giving my heart to Him - it was red and heart-shaped with a blue bow around it...hahaha... hmm.. it's my imagination!


The bible says, we love because He first loved us.

At that moment, He said to me, "Your gift of love is so precious to me."

I didn't expect that. That He sees my love to Him as a gift, and so precious to Him.


I felt that my love isn't worth much - 'cos He is so good and beautiful, mighty, doing wonderous deeds for me, of couse He's deserving of all honour and praise and love!

But today, He told me that my love - it is not something that He takes for granted. He said that my love to Him is a gift to Him, and that it was so precious and dear to Him. He keeps me in His heart...

Amazing love. What am I that You're mindful of me? Desirous of my love? Jealous of my affections? Pursuing love that never gave up on me....

Flirtation and babes

hahaha :D Did the title catch your attention?

My dear serious cyberager is probably not going to put this post of his list of 'inspiring reads'.. haha :D


Flirtation

Today, we had training on mortgage loans. The trainer from the bank was.. hmm.. suave.

Wasn't a hunk, just pleasant looking. What he had going for him is charisma.. comfortable charisma of the subtle kind.

I suppose, one would call it confidence. :) In the middle of the presentation, he said, in response to something the audience said, that he was 'distracted' by one of our colleagues in front. You know, it's the kind of teasing that is done with a wink. Then later, in front of all of us, he gave her his card. :D

Hmm... that's real attractive to me.. the style that is. He expressed his interest in a manner that was witty and non-intimidating. And left the ball (dinner invitation), without a doubt, in the girl's court. No pressure at all - 'cos she can either laugh over it with her friends or she can call him and they laugh over it over dinner :D

Now that's style and confidence.

I wondered what makes style and confidence?

To me, it's a matter of a total lack of self-consciousness, of boldly making the first move and not making it a 'life or death' situation.

I remember Abba told me once that flirtation and courtship is supposed to be fun. Didn't understand what He meant initially. Think I do, a little now. He means, "lighten-up! Don't take everything so seriously." :D

Hmm.. sometimes being in church, we may tend to take relationships, especially between the sexes too seriously. But if God is guarding our heart, then we should be comfortable with him/her as a brother/sister. (Of course, also apply wisdom - there are differences when handling male/female friendships) The moment we take things too seriously is when we are trying to handle it ourselves?

I recall, quite some time back, there was a brother who seemed to like me. Sometimes, catch him looking at moi. Unfortunately, he couldn't make up his mind about me... I think.. . He's too serious already. Anyway, he loo-gi lah... hahaha :D


Babes

Met my friend today for lunch. She's a sister and ex-colleague too.

My first thought upon seeing her after 3 months (she was getting married then) was, boy she has put on so much weight, she looks pregnant!... waitaminute, is she pregnant??? What if she's not and I ask.. then like I'm calling her fat.. tact, tact, tact...

So I came up with a lame, "Eh.. did anything happen since I last saw you?"

"Yes, of course!"

"You're pregnant???"

"Yes..." (read duh..) :)

A woman in love is beautiful. A pregnant babe (a babe in a babe :D) is doubly so - got Abba's love, hubby's love and loving baby. She just glows with satisfaction! :D

Now, this dear sister is 2 years younger than moi, just got married 3 months ago, and expecting a babe already!

If I weren't so secure in Christ and if I weren't so convinced I'm a daughter of Sarah (1 Peter 3:6), I believe by this time, I'll be hearing some ticking going on... :D

Praise God! The biological clock is spoilt!

Two kings wanted Sarah in her old age. And the bible describes Sarah as beautiful!

We, daughters of the Most High, when we become pregnant, we simply switch titles. From being a babe to one hot mama! Hallelujah!

Getting personal

I can't believe how good He is to me! Everytime, man, I'm telling you, everytime, I go to Sunday service, bible study, or caregroup, He just have something for me.

Just got back from CG meeting, waiting for my hair to dry. :D These are the notes I jotted down in my notebook tonight. Be blessed! :)

Beloved, I wish above all things that you prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers. (3 John 2)

Question: How do I respond to trials?

1. See it as bread (lo-ti). Yum :) Remember, I have already won. My victory is in His finished work.

2. Seeing the good at the end - having such a consciousness of God's love and hence, the certainty of His promises, allows me to walk the journey, bumpy as it may be.

3. Learning to enjoy 'the pits' - 'cos when I can't get any lower, any move must be from God! I would even venture to say, God must move!

4. Keep myself in the love of God


Question: How to made God's love a reality in my life?

1. PERSONAL DRINKING

Remember Mary? One thing is needful - to sit at His feet. Mary drank the living waters for herself. (nowhere else did Jesus mention any other thing being needful, except that one thing)

The love of God is TORRENTIAL, it pours! Never ceasing! This is His love for mmeeeee!

Analogy of water creating a dent in concrete...

That which has impact, is the constant focus of water of the floor.

Consistently personalise God's love. It seems like I'm the only one that Jesus loves.

Don't just say, yes, yes, God loves the world and the flowers and the bees 'cos He is love.. no, no, no! God loves YOU. 'cos it's true, God loves YOU! And you know what? It's with a PASSION.

How do I know God loves me passionately?

I look to the cross. To His death. His manner of death. That's how much He loves me!

How can I 'feel' His love?

Personalise worship. Singing with my heart. It's not just words. During worship, it is God engaging me. It's not "we worship", it's "I worship", not "our lives", it's "my life", not "loves us", it's "love me".

Attend service like I've never heard it before. With an expectation to receive. With thanksgiving in my heart 'cos I know that He is gonna feed me real well. That He has already anointed the leaders over me 'cos He loves me!

When I have the consciousness of His personal love, the way I perceive circumstances will be different and because of my consciousness and my perception, my circumstances will change to reflect His love and glory in my life!

He lives in my life. I serve a living God!

He is the lamb upon the throne in my life. He is exalted in my life!

LET the love flow inside.


2. GIVING helps us to be conscious of God's love

Litmus test :D To the extent you know how much God loves you is how much of other people's nonsense you can take.

There is now, no condemnation, even self-condemnation, in Christ.

Go out with peace, led forth with joy!

When you think you've 'lost' the first love, do the first works. i.e. do whatever reminds you of His love.

God' love changes my countenance! (Better than any makeover, shopping, make-up, slimming programmes can ever do.. :D)

If people don't love me, they 'loo-gi'.

Be a child to the Father.

Like children, carefree! Have you seen children enjoying the fountain (check out the one at Bugis) - no self-consciousness at all! The only consciousness I want to have is Abba's love for me!

Once I am more conscious of myself as constantly, the beloved, the spiritual forces start to bow to me as a spiritual authority. The spiritual atmosphere will change and hence, the natural atmosphere too.

It is not how much scripture I know, it is how much I am convinced in my heart that Abba loves me.

The love of God is a heart message.

Heart-revelation.

When you're conscious of His love, you make meaning out of everything. I find Abba talking to me out of everyday experiences - relationships, circumstances.. etc

When I'm conscious of His love, I won't settle for mediocrity.

Gazing steadily

This song came to me just now, like a gentle reminder :)

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
and the things of the world will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace

Knowing my rights

Pastor Aage Aleskjar preached this Sunday from, praise God! The dear book of Galatians! My goodness, it's been a long time since I read Galatians - I was too enamoured over Romans :D

Romans and Galatians - the truths of the new covenant.


Galatians 4:21-28

Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not hear the law? For it is written that Abraham had two sons: the one by a bondwoman, the other by a freewoman.

So here, the bondwoman is Hagar and the freewoman is Sarah. See below

But he who was of the bondwoman was born according to the flesh, and he of the freewoman through promise, which things are symbolic.

Paul made typology Kosher. The old testament is the new testament hidden.

What is according to the flesh? And according to promise?

Well, God promised Abraham a son with Sarah - that was His promise, His Word.

But Abraham and Sarah couldn't wait and decided to 'help God along'. So Abraham and Hagar had Ischmael the natural way. The word 'flesh' is symbolic. The opposite of promise, is self-effort (taking God out of the equation)

For these are the two covenants: the one from Mount Sinai which gives birth to bondage, which is Hagar— for this Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia, and corresponds to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children— but the Jerusalem above is free, which is the mother of us all.

Mt Sinai is where the 10 Commandments were given. The covenant of law.

And look what the Word says! It gives birth to bondage. (Let us not use our human logic to interpret the clear words of the bible.)

For it is written:

“ Rejoice, O barren,
You who do not bear!
Break forth and shout,
You who are not in labor!
For the desolate has many more children
Than she who has a husband.”

Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are children of promise.

So remember, we are as Isaac, children of promise - living by the promises of God!

We are not children of Hagar, living by the blessings and cursings of the law!

Not I say one, bible say one! (This book is written after the cross - if it means anything to thee... :) think on that! )

But, as he who was born according to the flesh then persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit, even so it is now.

Sad, but true.

Nevertheless what does the Scripture say? “Cast out the bondwoman and her son, for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman.”

This is actually what Sarah said. And God agreed with her 'cos He caused the Holy Spirit to write these words down through Paul.

And what does it say? CAST OUT! No ifs, no buts about it. No such thing as, 'yes, we're saved through grace, but we need the law to live in holiness' - where? where? did the bible say that?

The Word is spirit-inspired. It NEVERS contradicts. So then, one guideline in biblical interpretation. Never use obscure verses to interpret what is clear in the Word.

I get pretty annoyed with some preachers who hit God's people over the head with an outdated covenant.

So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman but of the free.

Amen!


Another interesting verse:

What does the bible say about the 10 commandments?

Note that in this passage, the spirit and the law are opposites.

2 Corinthians 3:2-17

You are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read by all men; clearly you are an epistle of Christ, ministered by us, written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart. (ref also Hebrews 8 - He writes His laws on our hearts)


And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

But if the ministry of death, written and engraved on stones, was glorious, so that the children of Israel could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of the glory of his countenance, which glory was passing away, how will the ministry of the Spirit not be more glorious?

For if the ministry of condemnation had glory, the ministry of righteousness exceeds much more in glory. For even what was made glorious had no glory in this respect, because of the glory that excels. For if what is passing away was glorious, what remains is much more glorious.

Therefore, since we have such hope, we use great boldness of speech— unlike Moses, who put a veil over his face so that the children of Israel could not look steadily at the end of what was passing away.

But their minds were blinded. For until this day the same veil remains unlifted in the reading of the Old Testament, because the veil is taken away in Christ. But even to this day, when Moses is read, a veil lies on their heart. Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.

Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

Alive!

So blessed! I can't contain it!
So much! I've got to give it away!
Your love, has taught me to live now
You are, more than enough for me!

and yesterday, I was also cruising to Bon Jovi...

It's my life! It's now or never
I ain't gonna be on earth forever!
I'm just gonna live a life alive!

It's my life!
My heart is like an open highway
I thank my God, I did it His way!
I just wanna live a life alive!

hahaha :D modified the lyrics a little to make it kosher.. :)

How am I feeling now? Exhilerated, exuberant! Even though it's a Monday...

Or at least, until I got to office. Then I had to bottle it all up... it's like I'm bursting with the good news and joy of the Lord but no one to share it with.. urgh!

And of yes, I'm in love! Afresh!

Remember my post a while back titled 'Crush'?

Well... I'm dating someONE.. grin.. decided to take my own advice. :) And it's someONE you all know... His name is.. Jesus!

Actually, I started dating Him sometime back already. That's why a few weeks back I began dressing up.. not hiao lah.. okay, a little! But hey, you dress up for the one you love right?

On Saturday, we went to check out HMV - that's when I succumbed, and bought my Bon Jovi 'live in concert' CD as well as L'arc-en-ciel (best hits of 1998-2000). I struggled, a little, with my decision, 'cos these are rock bands and I thought, not very 'christiany'..

Quite nostalgic listening to all these songs... before Abba found me again, I liked Linkin Park and Matchbox 20. I find rock music pretty catharic. Of course, I outgrew Linkin Park, still like Rob Thomas - but mostly for rock, it depends more on the songs than the artist. :)

Someone once wrote (paraphrasing), "As long as you are passionately in love with God, you can do whatever you want."

Hope there are no religious spirits reading this blog! haha :D So just in case, read Hebrews 8 - He writes His laws on our hearts.

Yes, our hearts are desperately wicked. But did not God say that He'll remove our stony heart and give us one of flesh? (Ezekiel 11:19)

The other day when we went to FOP, Hillsong was singing this song that particularly moved me... I felt like a giddy 'fan', couldn't keep His name off my lips!

My Jesus, My Saviour,
Redeemer, that's what You are to me..
You fill me, complete me,
My Jesus, that's what You are...

There's no other like You
There's no one besides You
You're more than my heart can contain!

enjoying the little things...

Tonight, I chilled out with my girlfriends out at Holland V.

We caught up with each other's life, shared funny incidents over work, gossiped over our ex-classmates, discussed the make-up of the Singaporean male, admired each other's clothes and style, touched a little on shopping, waxed lyrical over desert and calories and still ordered anyway.

Oh, cool.

We talked about our friends getting married, having babies; about us being one day, Godmothers to our future children, trying to think on good places to eat, discussed gender differences and how clothes maketh the man, or not.. haha :D

It was really nice to see how we have changed and blossom.. and it was great that we still talked with dry wit, delighting in a somewhat skeptical view of life, falling over in bursts of unabashed laughter and mutual admiration - basically it was hmm.. a chick, chic night out.

Identification

Wow, had a wonderful time at bible study tonight!

Pastor Prince is away at Jakarta for a Pastors and Leaders meeting - I'm so glad we get to 'tithe' our pastor out so that He can be a blessing to the nations.

And praise God! You know, Abba is so good! He will anoint every leader that He puts over us, to minister to us, giving us words of exultation and feeding us with His truths and just refreshing us with His love - and He anoints them, why? Because He loves us so much.

Well, tonight we had awesome time with Deaconess Lian preaching.

The issue tonight is how to get from hearing (the Word, testimonies) to HAVING them.

Biblical references:

Leviticus 1:3-9 (the burnt offering)
Exodus 33:18-22 (God shows Moses His glory)
Judges 6:1-16 (Midianites oppress Israel)
Judges 7:9-15 (God reassures Gideon with a dream)
Judges 7:15-20 (Attack on the Midianites)


Deaconess Lian started off with a hebrew lesson. She said that the word 'sin' and 'sin offering' has the same word - 'chatta'ah '

That is, Christ on the cross - He who knew no sin became sin for us. He is our sin offering and on the cross, He became sin. He so 'identified' with our sin and that is why 'sin' and 'sin offering' are one word.

In Leviticus 1:4

Then he shall put his hand on the head of the burnt offering, and it will be accepted on his behalf to make atonement for him.

All whole procedure of offering matters nought (i.e. killing the bull, sprinkling ot he blood, skinning the burnt offering) if he does not first lay hands on the bull.

Why? The male bull without blemish is a picture of Jesus Christ. The bull is killed to make atonement for the man's sins. When he lays his hands, he exchanges his sins for its perfection. Now the bull, the sin offering becomes 'sin'.

Hence similarly, we identify ourselves IN Christ. We are His righteousness - I identify with the finished work for Jesus was made nothing so that I can become the rightousness of God in Christ.

It is not Christ, the hope of glory.

It is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

As long as you see Christ 'out there' apart from yourself, it avails nothing. When Christ is in you, then there's glory.

But what is the glory of the Lord?

Moses asked this very question. And look at God's answer and see His goodness!

And he said, “Please, show me Your glory.”

Then He said, “I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.” Exodus 33:18-19

His glory is His goodness! Wow!

Imagine, when we talk and sing about glorifying the Lord... actually, what can we, mere earthern vessels do to glorify the Lord of glory?

But Hallelujah! Since God's glory is His goodness, God is GLORIFIED when His goodness is seen in our lives!

And His goodness is freely given! It is not something that we can earn by our good works... He will be gracious and compassionate to whom He will be gracious and compassionate to.

But hey, God IS Love. And I am His covenant child and He loves me! He sends His beloved son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for me. He has already given me His best, O how can He not be gracious and compassionate to me? I am His darling daughter! :D

God goes on later to say in v22,

So it shall be, while My glory passes by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock, and will cover you with My hand while I pass by.

Note, where are we when His glory passes by? In the cleft of the rock. In Christ Jesus!

Christ in me and I in Christ - we are one! Identified together!

Remember the prayer that Jesus prayed? (John 17:20-26)

“I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.

And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.

“Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me. And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.”

Actually, Jesus said a lot of things here.. so lovely to meditate on.. do you see His heart?

Then Deaconess Lian shared the story of Gideon (Judges 6:1-16)

Note this verse 14

Then the LORD turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?”

Hmm.. the Lord did not say, "Go in this might on mine" but "yours"

It is Gideon's might? But Gideon was not mighty. Why did He say that?

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

I am doing it, yet it is not I, but I through Jesus Christ!

But I thought, this is the old testament, and Christ has not yet died.

Isn't it all the more 'strange' that the Lord would say "in this might of yours"?

But I noted, that God said that because in verse 16, He says, "Surely I will be with you."

How much more, we as covenant children today, with the Holy Spirit indwelling us?

Every problem and obstacle we have is HIM-possible, in Christ!

Yes, we look on, we focus on Jesus Christ. The answer to every problem is a revelation of Jesus Christ.

AND

Identification! To reiterate - the bible does not say, Christ, the hope of glory.

It is Christ IN you, the hope of glory! Oh, let that be a revelation in my heart. Let me not look at the beauties and perfection of Jesus as something outward, but to know that Abba has placed the spirit of Christ IN me. That the beautiful Jesus, the righteousness of God is not someone to admire outwardly, but to REALISE that it is inwardly.

Let's RETREAT into God and IDENTIFY in Him.

Christ has been made unto us wisdom, power and righteousness from God.

Oh Abba, help me daily, to identify that it is Christ who lives in me. That He is made unto me everything that I'll ever want or need in my life. He is the power of God within me - O glorify Your name through me. Pour out your goodness and blessings - did not Your Word say that blessings are on the head of the righteous? And I am the rightousness of God in Christ!

Let me know daily, Abba, that I have died to self, and the life that I live, I live to Christ. That glorifying You Lord, is not my work and anything I can ever do, but only through Your spirit who lives within me - guiding me, teaching me all things..

I love You 'cos You are so patient with me and You have changed me so much through all the months. You've opened my eyes and restored to me so many of Your beautiful truths. Lord, daily, I hunger to know You more.. of knowing also, how right You have made me in Christ. And I thank You for that hunger! I thank You for loving me so much! Your love gives me the strength; Your love embraces me.. Oh Jesus, You love me like nobody can! I love you so! :)))))! You make me smile Lord!

The flip side of things

Today, I listened on a documentary on poverty in the Philippines and how young children jailed for petty crimes were kept with murderers, paedophiles in overcrowded prisons.

It seemed like a world away from my world.

Things likes poverty, hunger, racism, crime and so distant yet real.

I thank God that I was not born into that world. But looking on that documentary, awakened a desire for me to do something. Surely, we can and should do something.

I just recalled what the bible says, "We are blessed to be a blessing."

No matter how much compassion I have, it means ziltch if I cannot do anything about the situation. And if I want to help many, it is not by simply me going down there to help. As one person, I can't do much.

But, if I had lots of money (that's the blessing of prosperity), why millions of dollars can make a significant change to the situation.

I wonder how Jesus feels about this? Anger and compassion; love and patience.

With so much evil in this world, He still refuses to give up on it. You know, He is the Creator, He can simply choose to extinguish life - the sun need not rise.

Do you know that everyday is a miracle? But we don't, because it has become common. But the very first day the sun rose, where darkness once was, it was a miracle.

He holds our very breath in His hands. For as much as there is evil in the world, His compassion and love far exceeds it. It is incredible that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Sinners - that includes those criminals, murderers, terrorists... God loves the sinner but hates the sin. It's like loving someone but hating the cancer in the person. Is it the right analogy? I do not know. I cannot comprehend loving people who are paedophiles, terrorists.. I cannot distinguish the sin from the sinner. I am not God but that is what the bible says. Jesus Christ died for them too (sinners) and if they choose to accept Him, they shall be saved.

Who are we to say who deserves or deserves not to be saved?

We who measure the depravity of a sin according to man's standards.

But can we imagine what sin means to a holy God? What is God's standard? After all, heaven is His place. To Him, to have hated someone, is to have murdered. To have lust, is to commit adultery.

The effects of sin is misery and death.

Evangelism is propogation of the gospel - not for it's own sake but because where Christ is, there is life! There are blessings!

Our hands are so small. We can only do so much on our own to elevate the sufferings of others. Where with His mighty hands, He supplies the provisions, the wisdom, the love and patience to 'solve' these problems.

I do not want to be in that position of looking on and helpless. But I say Lord, bless me! Bless me that I may be a blessing to others! Lend me Your power and Your might to change the world! Not by my own strength Lord, but by Your spirit!

Oh Abba, I really don't know.. even now uncertainty suddenly floods my mind, but Abba, it's not what I think Lord. It is what You have written on my heart and it is up to You to make it happen. Amen.

His

A sister recommended this song "Who am I" from Casting Crowns. :)

Check it out: www.castingcrowns.com

The question "Who am I" is answered when we realise "WHOSE I am" :)


Who am I
Lyrics by Mark Hall
Music by Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're


Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours


Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Exceeding abounding grace!

I've got a testimony.. of His exceeding goodness in my life!

As some of you may know, I had an examination about two weeks ago on 24 July 2005. Since this is a testimony, of course I passed.. but truely ONLY by His grace. :D

I meant to study but it's been such a long time since I did.. and I didn't 'feel' like it, so I procrastinated... and procrastinated etc..

Until, the week before the examinations, then I tried to study. By that time, I knew it was too late. And was resigned, at the back of my mind, to retake the examinations. So I studied, but a little half-heartedly.

It was about 4 days before the exams that I decided to buckle-down. When I say buckle-down, it didn't mean round the clock.. I suppose, in the last 4 days, I spent about 4 hours a day studying.. which really wasn't much.

You've got to understand that the course I was taking is a self-study course. So I had no lessons, no notes to fall back on. I was faced with this huge stack of notes that we had to purchase, approximately 8 cm in height.

There was no way I was able to read everything. In the end, I read the introduction, scanned the middle, read the summary and the question & answer section, which really was very little.

I told Abba, it'll be a miracle if I pass - it'll be You, not me. You have to help me!

I wanted to believe that He will come through for me. Yet at the same time, there was a small nagging voice whispering slyly, "But you should have studied earlier.. you should have known better.. 4 days only.. remember so and so who's smart and studied so hard and passed, even he wasn't sure that he would... You got to give God something to work with to come through for you..."

Yup, that little voice had a LOT to say. It could have been the devil, it could have been me. We have eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and when we do wrong, our own conscience condemns us..

That's why it's so important to know there is no condemnation in Christ.

But looking back, there was another bouyant and small voice inside which challenged me, Believe God! Where sin abounds, grace much more abounds! Even though you did wrong (being lazy), don't you think He can still can come through?

Oh, how I wanted to believe it! I wish I could say I jumped up and shouted, Hallelujah! Alas, I didn't. In the interim, my thoughts wavered between these two voices.

In fact, when I shared with one sister about my upcoming exams and how much I didn't study, she patted me on the back, and said, "Don't worry, it's okay, you'll do all right." I looked at her with sad eyes, and agreed with a pained "amen"... haha :)


We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony!

In my mind, I rehearsed testimonies where I knew that Abba came through even when we did wrong.. and of course, the examination one which Deaconess Lian shared. You can be sure I prayed a lot in tongues those few days.. I don't know if that helped (it's not a formula) but it did more or less kept me in peace.

I thought, "God is good right? He'll come through for me, no worries. Praise God! And even if I fail, so what.. it's like Esther, 'if I perish I perish!' but God came through for her too.. not so dire, just take again lor... but Lord, You've got to come through.. I just believe You, I just rest in You.."

When I went for the exams, I didn't even bring any notes with me. I was so desperate that my mentality became, "If Abba doesn't help me, I'm already a goner, need notes for what?" "Okay, Holy Spirit, You will teach me all things.. it's all up to You."

Sometimes, the person we need to convince is really ourselves.

So I passed! I PASSED! On 4 days of studying on an examination that is reputedly quite difficult! Hallelujah!

Does that encourage me to procrastinate the next time? No, no, no! If I had the chance to do it all over again, I would study AND depend on Him. But really, His goodness and love came through in spite of me!

When I got the letter, I took a deep breath and whispered, "Oh Lord, let me pass.." It's that kind of situation that I know it can never be me.. the first words out of my mouth, I was sooo happy, is "Praise Jesus! Oh Lord, You are good!"

But you know, it doesn't mean that we have to be pushed into a corner so that we rely on Him for everything. That should be the attitude in which we do everything. That should be my mindset even if I had studied.

To do everything possible (led by His peace), but to depend everything and know everything hinges on Him.

Wow, I could hardly believe it.. But the Lord wants me to believe, my level of faith does not change the outcome, my volume of faith (the way we see Him) is for my own piece of mind. My heart and my faith is already pointing in the right direction for Him to come through for me in a powerful way.

The verse I was holding on? Where sin abounds, grace super-abounds, and on top of that, much more! Praise God! He is able!

He's able, He's able
I know He's able!
I know my Lord is able to carry me through!

The sweetest name of all / Crush

I couldn't decide the name of this post.. so you choose. :)

I'm going to share something quite personal and close to my heart. Hope it'll help if you find yourself in the same situaiton.


Have you ever had a 'crush' before?

In the natural, it's a horrible state to be in - at least from my perspective. I'm quite an independent girl - or at least, I like to think so... so to have my feelings on an emotional roller-coaster because of one person, is a ride I do not want to take.

Of course, being Christian, I cast it all onto Jesus. But sometimes, I forget and catch myself thinking of him. Then, I have to cast 'him' back to Jesus again - ha! This vollying around can get quite tiring!

I'm sharing this now because it's more or less over. But before, Jesus was the only one I feel comfortable in sharing. This experience is more exasperating than painful, thank God! Jesus is in the picture - in that I reverted all my confusion and complaints to Him. :) And He has been so patient in teaching and explaining to me about love and relationships.


Looking back, there was a period of time when the sound of his name on my lips was like music.. it just made me happy. But I guess that's what people "in love" like to do - hear and speak the name of the one whom they love.

Abba uses earthly relationships to teach me the many faceted yet beautiful types of relationships that I have with Him. And He sanctifies my experiences. :)

I've learnt that having a crush is an indulgence. A waste of emotions over a possibility. It's like giving an 'offering' to one's 'idol'. As this is the second crush that I ever had, I know how frustrating it can be, so I immediately called Abba for help!

At the same time, the Lord has already been guarding my heart by revealing Himself earlier this year as my Bridegroom, Husband and Lover. I learnt that the romantic feelings that I yearn for, the satisfaction that I needed in a relationship is found in Him first, as my Husband.


So in the case of my crush, I had romantic feelings for him, yet because of that, at the same time, I started to understand what being romantic with the Lord is.


I ask myself, since Jesus is my love, how is a romantic relationship with the Lord like? What is it like to have that same kind of crush on Jesus?

Then I started imagining, how is my 'crush', Jesus like? And I started to look at my Lord from another perspective.


Okay, for a practical gauge, I thought about Jim Caviezel from the Passion. He was a carpenter, so He would be well-built; steady, restrained strength. He walked along the beach and called to Peter, just 2 words, "Follow me" and these Ah Bengs of the day did! He must have been a man's man! He must have that irresistible aura about Him.. It's that glory, love and gentle power that attracts and draws us to Him.

And He is my beloved.

And Jesus is way more attractive than my crush. But having that crush taught me how to feel romantic towards Jesus. [I'm glad He sanctified this experience]

In the same way we like to speak the name of the one we love, I've started to delight in the name "Jesus".

Have you ever whispered His name, with love in your heart, romance in your mind and a smile on your lips, over and over again..? Quietly, sometimes lingering over the sound of His name, 'feeling' the sound over your lips, and just delighting in His name?

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...

Jesus, You're the sweetest name of all
Jesus, You always hear me when I call
Jesus, You pick me up each time I fall
You're the sweetest, the sweetest name of all


Today I was in the queue.. and well, you know how glorious looking our sisters are in NCC.

90% of the time, I like the way I look. But when I'm in a bevy of beauties, sometimes, I can't help comparing... I thought I looked good today (of course, going to church! :)), not hot, not fantastic, just, well, solidly good. And I look at them, and inside me, there was a little sigh..

"Wow, look at them, they're so gorgeous.. and me.. just.. good.."

Then Jesus spoke on the inside of me, and reminded me, "But I CHOSE you for my bride." It was an emphatic inner witness.


And just minutes before, I've been thinking on what a marvellous, handsome, manly, charismatic, compassionate, loving, romantic, bridegroom I had. :) You know what those few words can do to a woman's ego? :D How thrilling it was to have Him come immediately to say that?

Feel so loved. So loved. He CHOSE me. Before time. "I CHOSE you as my bride."

Truely, truely, He sanctifies me with the washing of His word and builds me up with His words of love to present to Himself a glorious me, a glorious bride, without spot or wrinkle.

To Him, I'm perfection. :D Gosh, it's wonderful!

Jesus is that crush every girl should have. He makes her feel on top of the world!

Every time I think upon this truth and see Jesus this way, He becomes the rock that my emotions, my soul's satisfaction rests on.

Oh Jesus, I love You! Because You first loved me, in spite of me.. :)

A little nice incident

Went for fourth service today. Was alone and got a seat in the 3rd row of the auditorium, center. For those who know me, I'm pretty particular about seating. Wanna be eyeball to eyeball with Pastor and near the band during worship.

Usually, when I go alone, I like to make friends before the service starts. There was this lady sitting beside me on my right who came alone as well. So I said, "Hi," to her.

She turned to face me and her eyes lit up with recognition.

"Hey, it's you.."

uh oh.. I was stumped for a second, two seconds didn't help either.. so I went, "um.. do I know you?"

Then she said, "You're Princess.."

At that, I remembered meeting her as a friend of a friend.

"Oh hey Jou! 'Tis you!" Fellow bloggers all.. :D


But thinking back on the incident brings a smile to may face. It was so cool the way I was identified.. "You're Princess!"

You know Jesus is called the King of kings and Lord of lords. Guess who are the kings and the lords? :)

Worship in love

Today we went for Festival of Praise! It was very very crowded. Quite a concert!

There was a song which got me thinking...

When I declare, "I love You Jesus, Forever, I will live for You.. " Inside my heart, I'm yearning, but I'm thinking, "Lord, I want to love You forever, to live every minute of my life for You.. but can I? Am I able to?"

(After the FOP, we had fellowship at Cosy Bay, nearby the Indoor Stadium. It's a cool place to chill out. But if any of you go there, just order the drinks. The food portion is really small for the price they are charging.)

So, anyway, I was sharing with a sister how inadequate I felt whilst singing songs about how much I love Jesus. I don't want to be a Peter boasting of my love for Him. Yet at the same, I do want to tell Him that I do..

And she shared that it's really a cycle of love.

We love because He first loved us.

AND that the love we love Him is not from our love but from the abundance of love that He has given to us first.

It is the awareness of His love, that is so immense that it is beyond comprehension and ETERNAL, that fuels our love for Him.

The love in which we love Him, Jesus Christ, is not human love, but revelation love - because it is only through revelation that we love Him as God and not as a 'good man' and that can only be through the spirit.

It's supernatural.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us (Romans 5:5)


God is love. And we His children have His nature (which is love) in us.

The Holy Spirit is love. And He resides in us permanently. Hallelujah!


Wow.. so NOW I can sing of Forever, and mean it. Because whatever I am, do or feel is from what He has so freely given to me in the first place.


And Abba sees my heart. When I seek, will I not find?


So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. (Luke 11:9-10)

A prayer

Oh Abba, I don't like it when I'm getting sick. My head starts pounding, my nose is running and my voice is hoarse. And I just recovered from a similar bout of illness just two months ago!

The stupid spirit of infirmity. I'm so angry!

Lord, if there's one thing I've learnt from the last time, is to keep my eyes ever the more fixed on You. It's not striving to attain healing nor confessing it like a mantra. But to abide in Your love, to ignore as much as possible, the physical discomfort, and relax in Your embrace.

To pursue, not healing, but Jesus and His righteousness. Because then the faith for healing will just naturally come and I will realise, here in my heart, that I'm already the healed.

Jesus, my Lord - Jehovah-Repheka, the Lord who heals me.

Abba, I just rest in Your love for me. It pains You more than me to see me sick.. but I have this blessed assurance, because of His finished work, that the truth, which is eternal forever and ever is, By His stripes, I am healed!

Heal-ed. HEAL-ED! Past-tense! Hallelujah!

In Jesus' name, amen!

Why does God answer prayer?

John 16:24

Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.


God does not answer prayer because of what we do to chalk up points with Him.

When He blesses us, is purely by His grace.. it is not wages, like it's something He owes us. He is not our employer. We are not His servants.

He's Abba Father. My daddy-God. He gives to me because He delights in me being happy. He is happy when I am because I am His beloved daughter. And He loves me very much.

Have you ever seen a toddler, a child just laughing in joyous abandon?

How my heart thrills when I see that beautiful child enjoying herself. And I want to tickle, make funny faces, etc.. do whatever it takes to hear that sound and see that smile.

How much more my Abba.

He gives me a blank cheque. It's a blank cheque 'cos He's also El-Shaddai, the Most High, Almighty God, the Creator - He has that name above every name - but He's my Abba too.

Ask, that I may give, that your joy may be full. :)

Do you see His heart of love?

How much does He loves me?

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Here I am

I know that I have a destiny. But sometimes, I feel like I'm resisting Him.

I feel like I'm called for business. And He has surrounded me with people like Aunt J and favour with the management to mentor me. But my mind gets in the way.

For example, goal setting involves setting down figures and targets. Then, my eyes are on these targets and my mind is working on how I can achieve this. Where does one draw the line between self-effort and trusting God?

Actually, there is a difference.

Our action will produce an effect. Like, when I make a call, I may get an appointment or a decline. Knowing the effect of my action is NOT relying on the effect. When one relies on the action and starts trusting in it, then that is self-effort.

So when I set my goals and targets, I'll simply DO the things I'm supposed to do.

As a sister and colleague says, "we just do the things we're supposed to do in our job, and let God take care of the rest. Factors like favour, the kind of people we see, etc.."

Because of this intellectual dilemna, I've been subconsciously holding back.

Actually, when we simply abide in Abba's love, there is nothing wrong that we can do. We just follow our hearts for He writes His laws there (Hebrews 8)

Recently, I've had this mental picture whenever I am 'confused'. I look at myself and see how I am led - by my head or my heart.

In every instance in the bible, when God leads, He requires a step of faith on our part. He needs us to move. So when I make this 'move', when I DO that step, I'm simply doing it, but my reliance and trust and my eyes are fixed on Him.

It reminds me of one of my favourite songs, "Here I am"

This song begins with the same question God asked and Isaiah answered.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8

In the natural, it was a dangerous time to follow God. It was not a 'popular' time Him (consider prophet Jeremiah too) But look at Isaiah's response.

How much more today? We who live after the cross, after Jesus.. for victory is already purchased by His precious blood! Whenever we need assurance we only have to look back at the cross... How the saints of the past longed for a time like ours!

After all that He has done in love.. we love because He first loved us and we are able to give because He has already given to us.. not on our own strength but because we are already blessed to be a blessing.


Here I am
words by Rebecca St James & Bill Deaton, music by Eric Champion

"God asks the question, "Whom shall I send?"
Now what will we answer?
Will we go and do as He says?
All that He wants is a heart, ready, willing and waiting

Here I am
I surrender my life to the use of your plan
Here I am
I will do as You say
I will go where You send
Here I am

Jesus commanded us
"Go and tell the good news."
For the harvest is many, but the workers are so few
All that He wants is a heart
Believing, serving and loving Him

Here I am
I surrender my life to the use of your plan
Here I am
I will do as You say
I will go where You send
Here I am

Lord, I give myself to You
My God I trust in You
Lord, tell me Your ways,
show me how to live
Guide me in Your truth and teach me my God, my Saviour

Here I am
I surrender my life to the use of Your plan
Here I am
I will do as You say
I will go wehre You send
Here I am"


Check it out: http://rsjames.com/music.html (from the album The Best of..)

Seizing your divine moment - Part 1

Last night, my brother was using the one and only computer we had at home. So instead of blogging I decided to do some reading.

I read this book "Seizing your divine moment" written by Erwin Raphael McManus sometime back. It got me all excited again. I'll probably spend sometime in it for the next 2 days as a refreshing reminder. :)

1 Samuel 13:22-14:23

So it came about, on the day of battle, that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people who were with Saul and Jonathan. But they were found with Saul and Jonathan his son. And the garrison of the Philistines went out to the pass of Michmash.

Now it happened one day that Jonathan the son of Saul said to the young man who bore his armor, “Come, let us go over to the Philistines’ garrison that is on the other side.” But he did not tell his father.

And Saul was sitting in the outskirts of Gibeah under a pomegranate tree which is in Migron. The people who were with him were about six hundred men. Ahijah the son of Ahitub, Ichabod’s brother, the son of Phinehas, the son of Eli, the LORD’s priest in Shiloh, was wearing an ephod. But the people did not know that Jonathan had gone.

Between the passes, by which Jonathan sought to go over to the Philistines’ garrison, there was a sharp rock on one side and a sharp rock on the other side. And the name of one was Bozez, and the name of the other Seneh. The front of one faced northward opposite Michmash, and the other southward opposite Gibeah.

Then Jonathan said to the young man who bore his armor, “Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; it may be that the LORD will work for us. For nothing restrains the LORD from saving by many or by few.”

[Jonathan was certain about some things, and at the same time he was able and willing to operate in the realm of uncertainty. He called out to his armor-bearer and said, "Come, let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf." You've gotta love that. This is what he was saying in plain English, "Let's go and pick a fight. Maybe God will help."]

So his armorbearer said to him, “Do all that is in your heart. Go then; here I am with you, according to your heart.”

[Jonathan was not acting under military command and thus did not attempt to command even his armor-bearer to follow him> He simply invited him. Jonathan knew that there was more than a relationship of authority between him and the young man, that he had invested into his apprentice's life and had gained his allegience. Title, position, and authority may hold power, but influence travels through relationships. And in the end, influence is the fountainhead of power.

The armor-bearer's response unlocked the power of influence: "Do all that you have in mind. Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul." This is why influence is always more powerful than authority.]


Then Jonathan said, “Very well, let us cross over to these men, and we will show ourselves to them. If they say thus to us, ‘Wait until we come to you,’ then we will stand still in our place and not go up to them. But if they say thus, ‘Come up to us,’ then we will go up. For the LORD has delivered them into our hand, and this will be a sign to us.”

So both of them showed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines. And the Philistines said, “Look, the Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden.” Then the men of the garrison called to Jonathan and his armorbearer, and said, “Come up to us, and we will show you something.”

Jonathan said to his armorbearer, “Come up after me, for the LORD has delivered them into the hand of Israel.” And Jonathan climbed up on his hands and knees with his armorbearer after him; and they fell before Jonathan. And as he came after him, his armorbearer killed them. That first slaughter which Jonathan and his armorbearer made was about twenty men within about half an acre of land.

Jonathan was determined and convinced in seeing the Lord's hand on his life and in every situation, even dire ones. But even then, though 'dire' in the natural, he sees it as already delivered by the Lord and ran towards the challenge.

And there was trembling in the camp, in the field, and among all the people. The garrison and the raiders also trembled; and the earth quaked, so that it was a very great trembling. Now the watchmen of Saul in Gibeah of Benjamin looked, and there was the multitude, melting away; and they went here and there.

Then Saul said to the people who were with him, “Now call the roll and see who has gone from us.” And when they had called the roll, surprisingly, Jonathan and his armorbearer were not there. And Saul said to Ahijah, “Bring the ark of God here” (for at that time the ark of God was with the children of Israel).

Now it happened, while Saul talked to the priest, that the noise which was in the camp of the Philistines continued to increase; so Saul said to the priest, “Withdraw your hand.” Then Saul and all the people who were with him assembled, and they went to the battle; and indeed every man’s sword was against his neighbor, and there was very great confusion. Moreover the Hebrews who were with the Philistines before that time, who went up with them into the camp from the surrounding country, they also joined the Israelites who were with Saul and Jonathan. Likewise all the men of Israel who had hidden in the mountains of Ephraim, when they heard that the Philistines fled, they also followed hard after them in the battle. So the LORD saved Israel that day, and the battle shifted to Beth Aven.


"The center of God's will is not a safe place, but the most dangerous place in the world. God fears nothing and no one. God moves with intentionality and power. To live outside God's will puts us in danger, but to live in His will makes us dangerous. When we begin to seize our divine moments, we do not begin to live risk-free, but instead become free to risk."


I just recall that Pastor once said about our chariots of fire when we are raptured.. "How fast would you race when you know you cannot die?" haha.. but twist it around, "What would you do today if you know you'll ALWAYS win?"

If God is for you, who can be against you?

Aunt J

Yesterday was a long day for me at work..

But praise God! So blessed!

Thank you Lord, for waking me up on Monday mornings.

When it's one of those days, I'll just wake up and in my groggy state, silently whisper a prayer, "Abba, help me get out of bed.."

Got to know of my colleagues and manager (not mine) over lunch and in the afternoon today. So favoured... actually, she's my schoolfriend's mum and although we've been together in the same group for 8 months or so and even been roommates when we our company sent as to Genting Highlands for a convention, we didn't get to know each other well.

Till yesterday!

Praise the Lord! Thank You Abba for favour favour favour! It wasn't a relationship that I was seeking in the first place. But she was just so open in sharing how to run the business, the systems she set in place.

Then later, after lunch, she spent a few hours teaching me how to download some info, to use Excel, loaned me her thumbdrive, and just 'fellowship' with me. I'm so touched that she took the time to care. Feel like she's my fairy godmother! But shall just think of her as Aunt J in my heart first. Yesterday afternoon, she touched my life! :D

After all, I work from home and am hardly in the office unless there are meetings or trainings. But everytime I'm in the office, I'm so blessed by the warmness of the people there. There's no hierachy and politics (as far as I am concerned) so it's always a joy to step into the office.

I just feel that Abba is just surrounding me with His shield of favour 'cos He loves me loves me loves me!