Mortality

Beauty, Jack, Hospital, Time, Life.

In the past two days, the above has been reminding me of mortality.

I've just been reminded that time is a precious commodity. A fact that youth does not seem to be aware of.

I am young and I was unawares, was in the dark but did not know. Like how ice melts is how time slips away and then evaporate into nothingness. Of perhaps memories to live in someone's heart and then perhaps forgotten or recalled with a tinge of nostalgia.

How transient it is. Yet how slowly it seems to creep by as we're living out moments. And how fast it seems to speed when we're living out in years. There's too much time to savour. At the same time, so intangible that it vanishes when one is not looking.

Are we actors passing through a play of life? Would we live a life of meaning? A spark that flashes briefly, violently in the dark and be forgotten by time as great men are wrought to do?

For what IS life? But life to Christ alone? Who cares? But Jesus alone? The Son of God who lived and died for me. He who is beyond time and eternality.

I once asked Jesus. When we are perfected in our new bodies, no sickness, sound mind, no fear and living life to the fullest in heaven, would not everyone be the same? I mean, sure, we'll be having a great time.

Call it vanity but giving glory to God would make sense only when there's comparison wouldn't it? What would be the fun of it in heaven then when we are all equal? But surely, all glory would go to the Lord when the world sees how unfairly good He is to me.

But Lord, I don't know how to live that kind of life. Even the life that you've died to give me. It seems like I just know how to write about it. I just blog about so many things but it's not deep enough. Not deep enough in the sense that I do not seem to be living it.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 27:14

How do I "be of good courage" Abba when I back out of challenges? How will you "strengthen" my heart if I can't be of good courage in the first place? So Lord, what's left Lord?

Wait.

Wait on the Lord.

Yea, will I remember Psalm 18

For who is God, except the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.
He teaches my hands to make war,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You have also given me the shield of Your salvation;
Your right hand has held me up,
Your gentleness has made me great.
You enlarged my path under me,
So my feet did not slip.

Settling (BGR issue)

This issue of settling was raised in a question of BGR and finding a 'nice person and then falling in love later and not waiting and waiting for the 'perfect' one.

Since 'tis my blog, I'm free to be frank here, thank God! I can't express myself tactfully and as honestly as possible in the other venue.

But by heaven, that's a cop-out!

Yup, it seems to suggest "since I have not seen it, I probably am not meant to have it so it does not exist. So I'll make do with what I get and hope for the best."

No, no, no. It is not waiting for the *perfect* man who is tall, dark and handsome, wealthy, ambitious, can sing, can dance, can cook and wait, can do hand-stands too! Nope. It is living with reality with biblical hope. Perfection is loving an imperfect someone passionately by the grace of God. It is possible only through Christ. That is the "perfect" man for me.

Perfection is when God and I agree - this is the one - despite the fact that he may pick his nose or fart. It is not romance for romance's sake. It is knowing and continuously discovering this wonderful creation, this born-again glorious spirit that my Father who loves me so much has given me for a life partner.

A "perfect" man is so not a knight on a white horse.

But yes, it's about waiting, not hunting.

It is about enjoying the Lord, enjoying the process till the fulfilment of His promise for me. And His faithfulness is NOT measured by the biological years I live out here on this earth.

It's NOT about getting a nice person and hoping to 'fall in love' later. (although that's possible by His grace. But not wise.)

It does mean to OPEN one's eyes wide whilst choosing. It's wisdom + chemistry.

But once I'm married, well, there's no second thoughts about whether he is really the one meant for me or is there a better one 'out there'. After marriage, the focus is not in changing the man or whatever. The focus is on me being the One for him.

Love is loving the person as he already is and not changing him. No one can ever change another. True transformation comes only through Christ. If God can't touch/change him, do you think I can? Of course not! It's deadly to marry a person hoping he can change.

But after marriage, it's different. It's does not mean that one should put up with an abusive husband - it's not about that. But marriage - well, marriage is awesome NOT because it's about being with someone and having companionship and love although that's great of course - marriage, ah.. how do I say this?

Marriage is the opportunity to understand how much we are loved by Jesus. Husbands are given the unique position to stand in Christ's shoes and understand how much He loves His bride.

Serving in the nursery, He has ministered to me a fresh understanding of the Father's love because I was placed in a position to mother the toddlers.

Relationships - be it inter-personal, government, work - are all earthly analogies that God has given to us. And our Father is so practical. It's not just reading the text alone but through our the daily routine walk of life, He ministers to us, teaching us, feeding us in the spirit.

(an aside: after I became a Christian, my heart became so soft and pliable. Like I would tear up at the smallest thing. Yet at the same time, I realised that I am not compassionate for compassion sake. In other words, I am not a 'nice' person. I am quite firm actually.)

Don't misunderstand me, I don't want to take marriage as a bible lesson! Far be it! But knowing what marriage means, I don't want to settle. Marry for the sake of marrying. Marry to fulfil needs that only Christ can fulfil.

There're many reasons that people date. They want companionship, they want sex (or what they think sex can bring them), they are lonely, they think they are getting old, people expect them to. You see, it's a "me, me, me" attitude.

Now love is giving isn't it?

Love is always about the other person.

I shared this in another post .here months back but I'll summarise.

There was one time I had a crush (it's over now). And I was 'agonising' over it and speaking to Daddy about it. What to do? Why do I feel this way? What does he feel? Is he seeing someone? Is he attracted to someone else? Then, what do I do?

And anyways, it was a wonderful period in which Abba taught me what love is.

"I think I love the person? Do I? Do I not? Is what I'm feeling real?"

Am I in love with love? 'Cos if I really loved the person, then all those questions didn't matter. Because at the end of the day, if I really loved the person then I'll be happy if he's happy. That's the only criteria. And if he really fell in love with someone else, well, I'll be happy for him. If not, then it tells me that I love my feelings more than I do him.

So, did I love my 'crushee'?

I can honestly say I did. But the love has since become a brotherly love. But surely it was the Lord that sanctified my feelings for him. God is love. All love (in it's different forms) is shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit

More

I got my paycheck a few days ago and it was much more than I expected! Business being slow lately (my own fault) I wasn't expecting much. In fact, I didn't budget for the Oasis camp that was coming up and had more or less decided not to go.

So I prayed to God as a matter of formality. Something which goes, "If you want me to go, You provide hor..." and imagined someone coming up to me to give me $450 like what actually happened to my friend.

Then this extra bonus paycheck! Well, praise God! So erm, should I go or should I use the extra money to pay my other bills and save it up? Is this the answer (about going to the camp) that I'm waiting for?

Now, I feel obligated to go. I'm sorry Dad. I don't feel like going. The last Oasis camp, though refreshing, well, there wasn't enough sermons going on. Man, I want to go deep into the Word and not go there to socialise. Which is what I think the Oasis ministry wants to promote - fellowship. Although Pastor had said time and again, it's not for anyone to 'catch fish' Anyway, I shouldn't NOT go just because of other people's wrong attitude.

Like Gideon (negative example), I've asked Abba for another sign to see whether it's from Him... although in my heart of hearts I feel He wants me to go even though I don't. So how? Ah.. I feel the love coming on! It's easy to be obedient when one knows one is love regardless of one's decision.

But this is not the main topic of my post...

When I started work, I had this other colleague who started in my company just 4 months before me. One could say that we're from the same 'generation'. It's easy for one just starting out to quote Matthew 6 - not worry what to eat or wear (I'm single so I have no obligations and responsibilities!).. these things that the gentiles seek but seek ye first the kingdom of God.. all these things that they seek will be added to you!

And it's easy to quote it happily but without depth! It's easy to quote it when one just started work and the future is rosy with idealistic dreams. It's different when one sees other peers prospering.

A week ago, I heard that my colleague, my shi1 ge1, bought himself a beemer (BMW)! We're the same batch and he bought himself a beemer! And I look about me and I asked myself, where did all my time go? When did my colleague, who lives in Jurong, took the MRT, now can drive a beemer and manage a team? What about me??!

It disturbed me.

Anyways, I put it out of my mind, until I received my paycheck with the extra bonus. In answer, I believe, to my prayer about going to camp. And as I was giving my Hallelujahs! I felt the Lord prompt me, with the infamous background of the incident of the beemer above and gently said, "O ye of little faith.."

I was SO contented with a LITTLE. I didn't expect or hope for more! Yes, I know that all blessings come from the Lord but Abba was reminding me, "Why are you satisfied with so little when I can give you so much?"

It dampened my Hallelujahs 'cos it's so true. I was satisfied in just having enough to have a good life, living for the NOW. I am very well paid for one who does not work much. But I have bills to pay, loans to repay and looking back at the last two years, felt that I was so short-sighted. Thought that being a good christian is just to be contented with what one has - I mean, that attitude is okay. But I never thought to REALLY ask God for a Peugot, an apartment, a REAL BIG holiday (not short trips) 'cos well, I'm "contented."

But contentment WITHOUT godliness is NOT great gain. It's mediocrity.

What is contentment WITH godliness?

To be honest, Pastor taught on this before but I forgot the message (anyone can tell me?) But I do believe it has something to do with righteousness-consciousness.

Yes, we do not chase after things but after the Lord.

But neither does God want me to take the leftover blessings. He wants the best for me! And surely that is NOT His best!

I'm still learning about this ministry of the marketplace.

Is there such a thing as a godly greed? Greed, not for things, not for chasing after things but WANTING more of the blessings of God. Being overwhelmed with gratefulness at His goodness on the one hand yet resting for MORE so that the cross of Christ would not be in vain.

How can a non-believer be more blessed than a child of God whose Dad owns the cattle on a thousand hills? Whose Dad made all the jewels, safire and gems of this world? Who created streets made (not paved) with solid gold?

"O ye of little faith..."

There's so much that I don't understand.

But there's an urgency there, to redeem the times. For the life that we live is a testimony that He lives. But what do the gentiles understand? It is not the spiritual blessings but the material blessings that appeal to them; the material blessings that speak of the testimony that He lives! So how can I be less blessed? How can I be satisfied with so little? I'm the one who's limiting God!

Faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen.

If I hope for little, my faith, being the substance of things hoped for will also be little. O, that the God of Israel should be so limited by my puny faith! What frustration!

Yes, we do not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the living God! Am I saying then that every word of God is transient? More insubstantial than tangible bread?

No! But it was the unseen that created the seen world! That every word of God, because it's living - should be more precious and substantial than gold or silver, more tangible than any tangibly sensory-perceived thing in this world!

Rest. But push in more! Don't be mediocre and contented with the little for it is pride! Did Christ go through His sufferings and died to just give me that? But no! He has unleashed the doors of heaven! And pourED out abundance! O Sally! Why are ye so slow to receive?!

Christian men: boyfriend material

Another crazy LOL entry from uncle muthu here :D

My Boyfriend's back!

Wonder what song I will sing at Jesus' second coming? :) Though of course, technically, it's not quite correct 'cos I'll be raptured first, then tribulation, THEN second coming (so I don't have to sing it)

But actually, we should be singing this song now. It 'started' at the moment of the resurrection 'cos He's no longer far away but with us.

Anyway, this song's just for laughs but I love the spirit of it! Hey, it reminds me not to take myself too seriously.. LOL I'll try to load the song as well.. You may have heard this song before. It was a big hit way back.


(Spoken:)
He went away
And you hung around and bothered me every night
And, when I wouldn't go out with you
You said things that weren't very nice

My boyfriend's back, and you're gonna be in trouble
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
When you see him comin', better cut on the double
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
You've been spreadin' lies that I was untrue
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
So look out now, 'cause he's comin' after you
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, he knows that you've been tryin'
And he knows that you've been lyin'

He's been gone for such a long time
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
Now, he's back, and things will be fine
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
You're gonna be sorry you were ever born
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
'Cause he's kind of big and he's awful strong
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, he knows I wasn't cheatin'
Now, you're gonna get a beatin'
What made you think he'd believe all your lies?
You're a big man now, but he'll cut you down to size
Wait and see!

My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, I can see him comin'
Now, you better start a-runnin'

Wait and see!

My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation
La, hey la, my boyfriend's back
La, hey la, my boyfriend's back


Artist: Angels
Song: My Boyfriend's Back

Get me some soul

Oh yeah...God can groove with the best of them. ;) That's what music is!

Love the song Amazing Grace! It's an incredibly moving song. And as such there has been many 'serious' renditions of it. I love the laid-back charm of this version. :)

Ode to joy!

http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh089.sht

This link gives an small idea of how the music sounds like. But let me tell you, it's more ALIVE! than that!

Hear it as the first movement of Beethoven's Symphony no. 9 and imagine chorus and chorus of angels and worshippers alike singing in the heavens....



Joyful, joyful, we adore thee!
God of glory, Lord of love!
Hearts unfold like flowers before thee,
opening to the sun above.

Melt the clouds of sin and sadness;
drive the dark of doubt away.
Giver of immortal gladness,
fill us with the light of day!

All thy works with joy surround thee,
earth and heaven reflect thy rays,
stars and angels sing around thee,
center of unbroken praise!

Field and forest, vale and mountain,
flowery meadow, flashing sea,
chanting bird and flowing fountain,
call us to rejoice in thee!

Thou art giving and forgiving,
ever blessing, ever blest!
Well-spring of the joy of living,
ocean depth of happy rest!

Thou our Father, Christ our brother,
all who live in love are thine!
Teach us how to love each other,
lift us to the joy divine!

Mortals, join the mighty chorus
which the morning stars began;
Love divine is reigning o'er us,
binding all within its span!

Ever singing, march we onward,
victors in the midst of strife!
Joyful music leads us sunward,
in the triumph song of life!

A touch

So sad.. but sometimes, one must create a habit to talking to God.

Sometimes I use the blog to write to the Lord. Despite not feeling like it, especially in times when I'm down or feel that I have fallen short. These are the times when I MOST need to have that refreshing touch from Him.

At times, I'm unable to sit still. So typing certain things are therepeutic to me.

It's been some time since I've had secular conversations or discussed 'religious' topics from a secular perspective. Usually, I steer clear of that because I'm selfish. It's not edifying; it doesn't help me. I get no satisfaction.

But I feel that the Lord wants me to continue speaking to this particular brother although we don't seem to be making headway. And it's NOT about the arguments proposed really. Well, whatever you say Lord.

Keep my heart still. Bring me to rest beside the still meadows. That I may lie against Your bosom and enjoy Your love.

The need to feel beautiful

Ah.. today I went to the well and it was REFRESHING!

I haven't been in church for one and a half weeks and it was not a happy time. In the sense that I was not satisfied in my soul. Truely, the washing of the Word, the hearing of faith - so important!

I've forgotten how it's like to feel beautiful 'cos I was so bogged down by my actions. I kept evaluating myself by my achievements and not focusing on my acceptance before the Lord.

And knowing that, I even became more 'concerned'. What a negative cycle!

Call it vanity. Basically, I didn't feel pretty. Well, it's more than just the physical you see. I needed to feel BEAUTIFUL. I kept wondering in my head whether I've lost that 'glow'.

Today, was like a washing of my soul. It wasn't earth-shaking emotional or anything like that. It was like, *sigh* so wonderful to be home Lord. Just forgetting everything else to enjoy You.

Recently, I've been diving into the Old Testament because I was in discussion with a brother. But I realised that I've been drawing and studying the Word to share with someone. But I have yet to feed myself! No, no, no... I must be satisfied first. I must be edified first. It's not about just sharing the Word. It's not my job to satisfy my intellect nor am I to indulge it.

But what is the Word? The Word is life! I am to EAT EAT EAT as in Makan it! To savour it! To inhale the aroma of Christ! To look upon His loveliness for myself! To admire the perfection of His work for myself! To spend time in the Word, not for discussion's sake, but to simply ENJOY my Yeshua!

Ahhh.. how I miss that!

Like a little child, Pastor reminded us tonight.

I remembered how eager I was, how delightful I am in His sight, how much He adored me, how beautiful and lovely I am to Him - like a little child coming to Daddy. Full trust, full assurance - KNOWING who He is! How quick I was to forget!

How He embraces me! Waits for me patiently! How much He has prepared for me to grow into Him. Laid out His spirit of wisdom within me - like a latent dynamo! What a mystery! Christ in me, the hope of glory!

I guess every question a little girl would ask; a lady would secretly wonder - am I beautiful enough? Is it enough?

Well, I just recall Lord. Looking at You, enjoying You, I am transformed. Not even by my determination to sit at Your feet Lord; but simply to be silent and see the cross. To talk to You as I would my best friend.

Have I neglected You lately Lord? Wasn't it a little rude of me? But You do know I have You in the back of my mind? You're just so THERE for me. I love You.... seemed like a long time since I said that. Shall I whisper it again? Does it warm Your heart? It sure does mine when You say it. :) So I'll say it again and again..

Ah.. Jesus.. Jesus.. the sweetest name of all!



Who is like a wise man?And who knows the interpretation of a thing? A man’s wisdom makes his face shine, And the sternness of his face is changed. (Ecclesiastes 8:1)

Splendour of Your name!

Ooh.. I love this hymn! We sung this for worship today! It builds up and then the chorus just overflows with His majesty as we just sing in awe, wonder and love!


You have won the victor's crown
You have triumphed over sin and death
Your name is lifted high
And rings through all the earth

Every demon spirit of hell
Trembles when Your mighty name is heard
And we Your church
Enforce Your victory in the world

O the glory of Your name
The splendor of Your name
None can compare with the power of that name

You are Jesus!
You are Lord!
You are God!


Anyone has this MP3? Let me know! :)

Texts

Lord, I'm involve in a debate(?) regarding the OT. You take over Abba. Kinda excited 'cos I never really did a study in the OT before. Looking forward to you revealing the treasures and fragrance of Jesus. :)

The OT is like an intricate maze. Quite different from the liberating wide green meadows of the NT. The NT is like a transformation, breaking free from shadowed shackles so to speak, tearing the veil with joyous abandon and stepping into the awesome light of the truth. Reading the OT makes me appreciate more of the wondrous light revealed in the NT. And allows me to see what it means to actually *see*. Praise God!

Comfort

Lord, at times I don't feel like talking to You because I feel that I'm not worthy enough. And it seems to get harder the longer I'm a Christian.

I know all about righteousness-consciousness etc.. And I would think that being so well taught, I would know better. But I can't help the way I feel, I can't seem to control my actions.

Then I would feel that I'm just wasting Your sacrifice, Lord. Just throwing Your blessings away. And well, when the things I expect don't happen, I tell myself I deserved it because I can't even be faithful with a little.

And although I know that You love me regardless and I'm so glad about that, it doesn't help me in the here and now Abba. But it's because You love me regardless that I am here before You.

How many times have I come before You Lord? With the same old problem. Like someone said, 'You not paiseh, I also paiseh.' Abba, it's so frustrating. The way that I am now, I feel like I should give up like Moses and wander about in the desert. But that's not what You want right? That's not what I want either! The times are getting shorter.

So how? How?

You said that man do not live by bread alone but by Your every Word. Now, I feel like I'm using scripture to justify myself. Abba! Time is rushing by and although I'm physically still, my mind is mental!

Abba, I feel like I want to break out in outright rebellion! I want to scream, shout, yell! But it's too tiring. Perhaps it's what's happening inside me. Then I want to curl into You Lord and find my rest. Find the rest that You can give me from myself. To run away from myself and elope with You.

Yet day by day, I find it elusive; lacking the courage to step out! Launch into the deep! I find myself cringing, turning away, cowardly, delusional - and I hate those thoughts. They seep into my mind when I'm least aware. They come when I turn from Your light.

Pleasures forevermore. O, to be able to keep Your lovely face, forever, before my eyes. I love those times when no one else matters. I love those times when I can just come into Your presence. Why am I always not as conscious as those times Lord?

Lord, where is my wisdom? What is Your wisdom Lord? Shall I find intellectual pleasures in Your Word only? That tickles the mind but starves the spirit? Abba, I miss the food; I miss the feeding - it sometimes seem I can't get close enough and I'm angry with myself for not being satisfied. Frustrated in not doing enough and giving up; disappointed with the fear that stops me from even trying.

Lord, why do You bother to be faithful to me? To stay beside me and be my strength? Aren't you tired of always helping me up when I fall? Furthermore, the same mistake. Why do You not leave? Why do You stay instead and suffer my whinings, my weakness, my failures? Why do You always make me cry in gratitude?

Father, what shall I say? Where do I turn to? Not to the scriptures, not to people, only to You Lord. In You I find my rest; in You I find my strength; in You I find approval and acceptance. Abba, keep my eyes on You. Into Your hands, I commit my spirit, all that I am to You. You love me more than I love myself, more than anyone can or is able to love me. Keep me Lord, from myself. Live in me Lord Jesus. Come!

Lord, no one can take the cross from my heart 'cos You are the One who placed it there. You are the One who holds me close. You are the One who holds me, period. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. Your rod and staff, they comfort me.

Video

This is one of my favourite worship songs.

I heard the audio recording of this version before and couldn't relate to it because it is sung in a different style than what I'm used to. Got this video off a sister's blog. And I realised that I'm more touched watching than listening to this version of the song. Watching and meditating on the lyrics brings me back to the heart of the Lord...

Can't take my eyes off you

Kinda like this song. It starts off smoky and darkly dreamy. But I like the liberation of the chorus.


Can't Take My Eyes Off You Lyrics
by Frankie Valli

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..

short comment

Sometimes I get defensive.

Like today, which happens to be Vesak Day. And on the front page of life, they were running an article about more young intellectuals turning to buddhism because they were encouraged to question. In front was the huge caption "No blind faith."

Immediately, counter-arguments ran in my mind. I had felt that all the advantages that they pointed out was an indictment against Christianity.

Perturbed.

Almost right after that, I asked myself, "They didn't say anything about Christianity. You're reading into things." Hmm.. and I realised how negatively geared I was (i.e. defensive)

Silence.

I was still this thing about the "blind faith" label.

Then the Lord spoke to me on the inside. I knew it was Him as opposed to my thoughts above, because when He speaks He's very calm one. (So cool... but anyways...)

He asked, "Is Christianity blind faith?"

I said, "No, not at all."

"Then why do you care what others think?"

Selah. My heart settled.

Mood today? (12 May 2006)

It's early early on Fri morning! 3.44 am! Dare I say, an ungodly hour! tsk tsk

And the reason is 'cos I've been having a nightlife! Just for today!

Made me realised how blessed I am! Went to Pauliner's to chill. But erm, couldn't really chill. Walked through Balaclava - and at first I wondered how anyone can enjoy oneself being in such a crowded loud place, then realised, lost sheep. Felt sad and a little sorry for them. The nicest part of the evening was when we sat the hotel lobby cafe of Westin Stamford, and just drank coffee and talked late into the morning.

Returning, albeit briefly to the things of the world, just reminded me to be thankful of His presence.

And to be refreshed again. How He enables my heart to rest. Truely, He leads me beside the still waters...


Mood today? Feeling like a caffeinated teenager, giddy in love! :)


Top Of The World by The Carpenters


Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
It's because You are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since You've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for You and me
All I need will be mine if You are here

Live

The Steven Curtis Chapman concert yesterday was totally awesome!

Even though Sandie and I were sitting quite far back, it simply didn't matter when God is in the House. It rocked man! And it was so lovely listening to the inspirations behind the songs. It was moving... like moving back to the heart of worship. When it's all about You. It's all about You, Jesus.

Oh, how blessed we are above all peoples!

To live is Christ, to die is gain

After the concert, I wanted to write a post called "my heart"

Then I realised, there's a song that expressed exactly how I feel.

I give You my heart (Hillsong)

This is my desire
To honour You
Lord, with all my heart
I worship You
All I have within me
I give You praise
All that I adore
Is in You

Lord, I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord, have Your way in me

Writing!

Ahh.. new hobbies.. I've got a long list of things I want to do. This is one of them. Always loved writing and after years of drought, and a year's of blogging, I thought I should start on a story proper.

I'm writing for an RPG for www.chfladiesrpg.blogspot.com. That is a collaborative effort. I find it hard to concentrate on that as a writer. It works along the lines of a story circle so one doesn't have much control over the character. This is because the character's history or future that one already has in mind are subject to change. Currently, there are 3 of us (Mok, Centuar and myself) writing the stories. I signed off using my christian name Elisha.

There's another main baby project that I've recently birthed for myself. I've started another blog called www.visiblefacets.blogspot.com for a story. Initially, I wanted to start another accompanying blog to write down my ideas for that story. If you would see from my profile, I've already have 5 blogs and that would make it 6. I feel it's way too many and I'll be spreading my resources too thinly. Instead, I've decided to put my thoughts here on my main blog.

To differentiate it from my diary entries, I have decided to put the title in italics whenever it pertains to my writing.

I have only a rough idea of the story. If you read my blog entries here, you will be able to discern the direction of the plot. If you want to keep the suspence, please don't read the entries here. :)

The story is contemporary and centers around a group of friends and their families. It's like Seinfield but more dramatic and without that much comedy. It does not read like a 'proper' novel. Instead of the reader being taken on a journey of events, this story is meant to be more introspective. It's a journey exploring the terrain of the human psyche.

What I'm trying to do in the writing, as far as possible, is not to say what the characters are feeling or thinking and invite the readers to draw the conclusions themselves. Or if I do say, it's meant to surface thoughts. Sometimes, you will find that the characters themselves do not know what they want or how they feel.

Writing is a rather personal thing - especially when it centers on character development. It's walking a fine line between exploring and fleshing out the richness of a particular personality and indulgence. Self-indulgent writing is rather tedious. But this is my first serious attempt after many years (and my previous attempts were nauseously fluffy) so be forgiving...

But as I was saying, writing is personal. Writing is like putting a piece of soul into your creation. The characters in this story (the working title is "Facets") are meant to be fictional. It's not semi-autobiographical (so don't go around guessing :D). However, certain scenes did happen. I guess that's not uncommon when writing. One draws out from one's imagination and season it with life experience forn an authentic flavour.

However, I am aware that too much introspection is tiring and gets stale after a while. While this story is not autobiographical, I have gone through some of the emotions that the characters are going through. It is almost like opening a door to the past for me because I am drawing more from memories a few years old rather than the present.

I believe the emotions still resonate with a lot of people. For me, it make me realise that Christ indeed is my all in all. For the writing to be meaningful to me, I cannot always look towards myself - I'll get bored. But what I have done, is to have pictures of Christ and aspects of the gospel hidden within "Facets". Sometimes, people don't realise how real Christ is, even or especially in the mundane, routine, everyday things of life.

Well, "Facets" is a personal journey. It is not meant to be angsty or dramatic - I'll see where the characters take us. It's whether there is life in ordinary blandness.

Thank You

Thank you for Your mercy
Thank you for Your grace
Thank you for Your blood
that has made a way

To come into Your presence
and glorify Your name
Lord I stand amazed at what I see

Great is Your mercy towards me
Your lovingkindness towards me
Your tender mercies I see
day after day

Forever faithful to me
Always providing for me
Great is Your mercy towards me
Great is Your grace


I'm not sure who wrote this song, but it gives me lovely goosebumps :) Just sing it to Jesus - don't care about the rest of the people in the auditorium. For this song Lord, it's just You and me...

Lost and found

Sometimes, we don't know how much something really means till we lost it.

About 2 days ago, I lost my wedding ring. I used to take it off quite casually and often at times when I don't want to 'feel' married.

But when I lost it, I've felt like I've lost a precious symbol - though it's only a symbol that forms part of my identity, it was very tangible to me. It doesn't change my relationship but losing a tangible reminder made me realise how much I actually appreciated Him.

Sometimes, I'm so much in my comfort zone; being so secure in His love that I take it for granted. But when I lost my ring - what I was sad about had nothing to do with the ring and everything to do with what it symbolises.

I've found it since and it's like returning to my first love, refreshed. :)

The Rose and the Lily (intro)

I came across this article written by Charles Spurgeon - written with much exuberance and love. It's titled "The Best of the Best", but after reading it, I have personally titled it, "The Rose and the Lily" It's quite long (if you have the patience! :D) but I've put it into 4 parts for your reading pleasure. I have highlighted the phrases and sentences that particularly speaks to me.

Also, I love the writing style. People nowadays don't write like this any more - with a leisurely broad generous style! :)

So here it is, enjoy!


The Best of the Best

May 19th, 1881
by C. H. SPURGEON
(1834-1892)


"I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys."—Song of Solomon 2:1.

The time of flowers has come, and as they are in some faint degree emblems of our Lord, it is well, when God thus calls, that we should seek to learn what he desires to teach us by them. If nature now spreads out her roses and her lilies, or prepares to do so, let us try, not only to see them, but to see Christ as he is shadowed forth in them.

"I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys." If these are the words of the Well-beloved,—and I have no doubt that they are,—then it may be suggested by some that here we have the Savior praising himself; and it is true; but in no unworthy sense, for well may he praise himself since no one else can do it as it should be done. There is no human language that can ever set forth his beauties as they deserve to be told. As good John Berridge says,—

"Living tongues are dumb at best,
We must die to speak of Christ"

as he should be spoken of. He will never fully be described unless he shall describe himself. For certain, we should never have known God if he had not revealed himself; and every good thing that you or I know of him, he himself has told us. We make no discoveries of God except as God discovers himself to us. If, then, any cavillers were to find fault with the Christ of God because he did commend himself, I would answer, Does not God commend himself, and must not his well-beloved Son do the same? Who else is there that can possibly reveal him to us unless he unveils his own face to our admiring gaze?

Moreover, be it always remembered that human self-praise is evil because of the motive which underlies it. We praise ourselves,—and, alas! that we should be so foolish as to do so,—we do it out of pride; but when Christ praises himself, he does it out of humility. "Oh!" say you, "how can you prove that to be true?" Why, thus; he praises himself that he may win our love; but what condescension it is on his part that he should care about the love of such insignificant and undeserving persons as we are! It is a wonderful stoop that the Christ of God should speak about having a bride, and that he should come to seek his bride among the sons of men. If princes were to look for consorts among beggars, that would be after all but a small stoop, for God hath made of one blood all nations of men that dwell upon the face of the earth; but for Christ to forsake the thrones and glories of heaven, and the splendours of his Father's courts above, to come down to win a well-beloved one here, and for her sake to take upon himself her nature, and in her nature to bear the shame of death, even the death of the cross, this is stupendous condescension of which only God himself is capable; and this praising of himself is a part of that condescension, a necessary means of winning the love of the heart that he has chosen. So that this is a matchless instance, not of pride, but of humility, that those dear lips of the heavenly Bridegroom should have to speak to his own commendation, and that he should say, "I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys." O human lips, why are ye silent, so that Christ must speak about himself? O human hearts, why are ye so hard that ye will never feel until Christ himself shall address you? O human eyes, why are ye so blind that ye shall never see till Christ shows himself in his own superlative light and loveliness? I think I need not defend my Master, though he used these sweet emblems to set forth himself; for this is an instance, not of his pride, but of his humility.

It is also an instance of the Master's wisdom, for as it is his design to win hearts to himself, he uses the best means of winning them. How are hearts won? Very often, by the exhibition of beauty. Love at first sight has been begotten by the vision of a lovely countenance. Men and women, too, are struck with affection through the eye when they perceive some beauty which charms and pleases them; so, the Savior lifts the corner of the veil that conceals his glories, and lets us see some glimpse of his beauty, in order that he may win our hearts. There are some who seem to think that they can bully men to Christ; but that is a great mistake. It is very seldom that sinners can be driven to the Savior; his way is to draw them. He himself said, "I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. This he said, signifying what death he should die." And the drawings of Christ are not, as it were, with a cart rope, but with silken bonds, ay, with invisible chains, for his beauty is of such a character that it creates love, his beauty is so attractive that it draws the heart. So, in infinite wisdom, our Lord Jesus Christ sets forth his own beauties that thereby he may win our hearts. I do believe that there is no preaching like the exaltation of Christ crucified. There is nothing so likely to win the sons of men as a sight of him; and if God the Holy Ghost will but help all his ministers, and help all his people, to set forth the beauties of Christ, I shall not doubt that the same Spirit will incline men's hearts to love him and to trust him. Note, then, the condescension and also the wisdom which are perceptible in this self-commendation on the part of Christ: "I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys."

I think that our Lord also speaks thus as an encouragement to timid souls; his tender familiarity in praising himself to us is one of the most effectual proofs of his lowliness. Does Christ commend himself to us? Does he say to us, for instance, "I am meek and lowly in heart"? What is his object in speaking thus but that we may take his yoke upon us, and may learn of him, and that we may find rest unto our souls? And if he says, "I am the rose of Sharon," what does he mean but that we may pluck him, and take him for our own? If he says, "I am the lily of the valleys," why does he take the trouble to tell us that but because he wants us to take him, and to have him for our very own? I think that it is so sweet of Christ to praise himself in order to show that he longs for us to come to him. He declares himself to be a fountain of living water; yet why is he a fountain but that we may come unto him, and drink? He tells us, "I am the bread which came down from heaven;" but why does he speak of himself as bread, whereof if a man eat, he shall never hunger? Why, because he wants us to partake of him! You need not, therefore, be afraid that he will refuse you when you come to him. If a man praises his wares, it is that he may sell them. If a doctor advertises his cures, it is that other sick folk may be induced to try his medicine; and when our Lord Jesus Christ praises himself, it is a kind of holy advertisement by which he would tempt us to "come, buy wine and milk without money and without price." If he praises himself, it is that we may fall in love with him; and we need not be afraid to come and lay our poor hearts at his feet, and ask him to accept us, for he would not have wooed us by unveiling his beauties if he had meant, after all, to trample on our hearts, and say, "I care nothing for such poor love as yours."

I feel most grateful, then, that I have not at this time so much to praise my Master as to let him speak his own praises, for "never man spake like this Man." When he commends himself, what would have been folly in others is wisdom in him; and whereas we say to our fellow-man, "Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth," I would say to Christ, "My Master, praise thyself, for thou alone canst do it as it ought to be done." As for thy poor servant, he would try to be the echo of thy voice, and that will be infinitely better than anything he can say of himself.

I think, also, that there is good reason for our Lord to praise himself in the fashion that he does in our text, because, after all, it is not praise. "What!" say you, "and yet you have been talking all this while as if it was praise." Well, so it is in one sense, to us, but it is not so to Christ. Suppose the sun were to compare itself with a glow-worm, would that be praise? Suppose an angel were to compare himself with an emmet, would that be praise? And when my Lord and Master, whose eyes outshine the sun, and who is infinitely higher than the mightiest of the angels, compares himself to a rose and a lily, is that praise? Well, it is so to you and to me, but it certainly cannot be so to him. It is a marvellous stoop for Christ, who is "God over all, blessed for ever," and the Light of the universe, to say, "I am a rose; I am a lily." O my blessed Lord, this is a sort of incarnation, as when the Eternal God did take upon himself an infant's form! So here, the Everlasting God says, "I am"—and what comes next?—"a rose and a lily." It is an amazing stoop, I know not how to set it forth to you by human language; it is a sort of verbal rehearsal of what he did afterwards when, though he counted it not robbery to be equal with God, "he took upon himself the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of sinful flesh, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." "I am God, yet," saith he, "I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys."

What does our text mean? I think it means that our Lord Jesus Christ is exceedingly delightful, so, let us speak, first, of the exceeding delightfulness of our Lord; and then, inasmuch as he uses two emblems, first the rose, and then the lily, surely this is to express the sweet variety of his delightfulness; and, inasmuch as he speaks of himself as the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys, I shall have to show you, in the last place, that this hints to us the exceeding freeness of his delightfulness.

The Rose and the Lily (Part 1)

I. First, then, the text sets forth THE EXCEEDING DELIGHTFULNESS OF OUR LORD.

He compares himself here, not as in other places to needful bread and refreshing water, but to lovely flowers, to roses and lilies. What is the use of roses and lilies? I know what the use of corn is; I must eat it, it is necessary to me for food. I know why barley and rye and all sorts of roots and fruits are created; they are the necessary food of man or beast. But what do we want with roses? What do we want with lilies? They are of no use at all except for joy and delight. With their sweet form, their charming color, and their delicious fragrance, we are comforted and pleased and delighted; but they are not necessaries of life. A man can live without roses; there are millions of people, I have no doubt, who live without possessing lilies of the valley. There are all too few roses and lilies in this smoky Babylon of ours; but, when we do get them, what are their uses? Why, they are things of beauty, if not "a joy for ever." Jesus is all that and more; he is far more than "a thing of beauty," and to all who trust him he will be "a joy for ever." To you who are Christ's people, he is your bread, for you feed on him, and he makes you live; you could not do without him as the sustenance of your soul. He is the living water, and your soul would pine and perish of a burning thirst if you did not drink of him. But that is not all that Jesus is to you; God has never intended to save his people on the scale of the workhouse, to give you just as much as you absolutely need, and nothing more. No, no, no; he means you to have joy as well as to have life, to look upon beauty as well as to be in safety, and to have not only a healthy atmosphere, but an atmosphere that is laden with the odour of sweet flowers. You are to find in Christ roses and lilies, as well as bread and water; you have not yet seen all his beauties, and you do not yet know all his excellence.

The exceeding delightfulness of Christ is suggested to our mind by his declaration, "I am the rose, and I am the lily." And first, he is in himself the delight of men. He speaks not of offices, gifts, works, possessions; but of himself: "I am." Our Lord Jesus is the best of all beings; the dearest, sweetest, fairest, and most charming of all beings that we can think of is the Son of God, our Savior. Come hither, ye poets who dream of beauty, and then try to sing its praises; but your imagination could never reach up to the matchless perfection of his person, neither could your sweetest music ever attain to the full measure of his praise. Think of him as the God-man, God incarnate in human nature, and absolutely perfect; I was going to say something more than that, for there is not only in him all that there ought to be, but there is more than your thoughts or wishes have ever compassed. Eyes need to be trained to see beauty. No man seeth half or a thousandth part of the beauty even of this poor, natural world; but the painter's eye—the eye of Turner, for instance,—can see much more than you or I ever saw. "Oh!" said one, when he looked on one of Turner's landscapes, "I have seen that view every day, but I never saw as much as that in it." "No," replied Turner, "don't you wish you could?" And, when the Spirit of God trains and tutors the eye, it sees in Christ what it never saw before. But, even then, as Turner's eye was not able to see all the mystery of God's beauty in nature, so neither is she most trained and educated Christian able to perceive all the matchless beauty that there is in Christ.

I do not think, brethren, that there is anything about Christ but what should make his people glad. There are dark truths concerning him, such as his bearing our sin; but what a joy it is to us that he did bear it, and put it away for ever! It makes us weep to look at Jesus dying on the cross, but there is more real joy in the tears of repentance than there is in the smiles of worldly mirth. I would choose my heaven to be a heaven of everlasting weeping for sin, sooner than have a heaven—if such a heaven could be,—consisting of perpetual laughing at the mirth of fools. There is more true pleasure in mourning before God than in dancing before the devil. Christ is, then, all beauty; even the dark parts in him are light, and the bitter parts are sweet. He has only to be seen by you, and you must perceive that, whether it be his Godhead or his manhood, whether it be his priesthood, his royalty, or his prophetic office, whether it be on the cross or on the throne, whether it be on earth, or in heaven, or in the glory of his second coming, every way,—

"All over glorious is my Lord,
Must be beloved, and yet ador'd;
His worth if all the nations knew
Sure the whole earth would love him too."


But, next, our Lord is exceedingly delightful to the eye of faith. He not only tells us of what delight is in himself,—"I am the rose, and I am the lily,"—but he thereby tells us that there is something to see in him, for the rose is very pleasing to look upon. Is there a more beautiful sight than a rose that is in bud, or even one that is fullblown? And the lily—what a charming thing it is! It seems to be more a flower of heaven than of earth. Well now, Christ is delightful to the eye of faith. I remember the first time I ever saw him; I shall never forget that sight, and I have seen him many a time since, and my grief is that I ever take off my eyes from him, for it is to look away from the sun into blackness; it is to look away from bliss into misery. To you who look at Christ by faith, a sight of him brings such peace, such rest, such hope, as no other sight can ever afford; it so sweetens everything, so entirely takes away the bitterness of life, and brings us to anticipate the glory of the life that is to come, that I am sure you say, "Yes, yes; the figure in the text is quite correct; there is a beauty in Jesus to the eye of faith, he is indeed red as the rose and white as the lily."

And, next, the Lord Jesus Christ is delightful in the savor which comes from him to us. In him is a delicious, varied, abiding fragrance which is very delightful to the spiritual nostril. Smell is, I suppose, a kind of delicate feeling; minute particles of certain substances touch sensitive membranes, and we call the sensation that is produced smelling. It is a mysterious sense; you can understand sight and hearing better than you can understand smelling. There is a spiritual way of perceiving the savor of Christ; I cannot explain it to you, but there is an ineffable mysterious sweetness that proceeds from him which touches the spiritual senses, and affords supreme delight; and as the body has its nose, and its tender nerves that can appreciate sweet odours, so the soul has its spiritual nostril by which, though Christ be at a distance, it yet can perceive the fragrant emanations that come from him, and is delighted therewith.

What is there that comes from Christ, from day to day, but his truth, his Spirit, his influence, his promises, his doctrines, his words of cheer? All these have a heavenly sweetness, and make us, with the psalmist, say to our Lord, "All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of the ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad." Whenever these sweet odours are wafted down to us, they make us also glad; anything that has the savor of Christ in it is sweet to a Christian. If Christ has touched it, let me put it in my bosom, and keep it there as a sweet forget-me-not, until I see his face in glory. Ay, the very stones he sat on, I was about to say, the very mountains at which he looked, have become dear to us. We have no idolatrous or superstitious reverence for Palestine, or even for the garden in which he sweat great drops of blood; but for spiritual things with which he has to do, we have a never-ceasing reverence and affection. Everything that comes from him is wondrous as the songs of the angels must have been to the shepherds of Bethlehem, and sweet to the taste as the manna that dropped from the skies around Israel's desert camp. Yes, brethren and sisters, there is a sweet savor about the Lord Jesus Christ; do you all perceive it?

Once more, in all that he is, Christ is the choicest of the choice. You notice, the Bridegroom says, "I am the rose." Yes, but there were some particularly beautiful roses that grew in the valley of Sharon; "I am that rose," said he. And there were some delightful lilies in Palestine; it is a land of lilies, there are so many of them that nobody knows which lily Christ meant, and it does not at all signify, for almost all lilies are wondrously beautiful. "But," said he, "I am the lily of the valleys," the choicest kind of lily that grew where the soil was fat and damp with the overflow of mountain streams. "I am the lily of the valleys:" that is to say, Christ is not only good, but he is the best; and he is not only the best, but he is the best of the best. He is a flower; ay, but he is a rose, that is the queen of flowers; ay, but then he is the best rose there is, he is the rose of Sharon. He is a Savior, and a great one; yea, the only Savior. He is a Husband; but what a Husband! Was there ever such a Bridegroom as Christ Jesus the Lord? He is the Head; but father Adam was a poor head compared with him. He is inexpressibly, unutterably, indescribably lovely; I might as well leave off talking about him, for I cannot hope to set him forth as he deserves. If you could but see him, I would leave off, for I am sure I should be only hanging a veil before him with the choicest words that I could possibly use. Suppose you had a dear son, or husband, or friend, far away, and that I was a painter who could carry pictures in my mind's eye, and then draw them to the very life. If I stood here, trying to paint your well-beloved friend, laying on my colors with all the skill I possessed, and doing my best to reproduce his features; suppose, while I was at work, that the door at the back was opened, and he came in, I should cry out, "Oh, stop, stop, stop! Let me put away my canvas, let me pack up my brushes and my paints. Here is the loved one himself; look at him! Look at him, not at my portrait of him!" And you would rise from your seat, and say, "It is he! It is he! You may talk as long as you like, dear sir, when he is away; but when he is himself here, your talk seems but mere chatter." Well, I shall be quite content that you should think so, I shall be even glad if you do, provided that the reason shall be that you can say, "We have seen the Lord. He has manifested himself to us as he does not unto the world." "I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys." The best of the best, the fairest of the fair, the sweetest of the sweet, is Jesus Christ to you and to me if we are indeed his people. I cannot say more about the exceeding delightfulness of my Lord; I wish I could.

The Rose and the Lily (Part 2)

II. I must pass on, next, to notice THE SWEET VARIETY OF CHRIST'S DELIGHTFULNESS.

He is not only full of joy, and pleasure, and delight to our hearts, but he is full of all sorts of joy, and all sorts of pleasure, and all sorts of delights to us.

"Nature, to make his beauties known,
Must mingle colors not her own."


The rose is not enough, you must have the lily also, and the two together fall far short of the glories of Christ, the true "Plant of renown."

"I am the rose." That is the emblem of majesty. The rose is the very queen of flowers; in the judgment of all who know what to admire it is enthroned above all the rest of the beauties of the garden. But the lily—what is that? That is the emblem of love. The psalmist hints at this in the title of the forty-fifth Psalm. "Upon Shoshannim, a Song of love." Shoshannim signifies lilies, so the lily-psalm is the love-song, for the lilies, with their beauty, their purity, their delicacy, are a very choice emblem of love. Are you not delighted when you put these two things together, majesty and love? A King upon a throne of love, a Prince, whose very eyes beam with love to those who put their trust in him, a real Head, united by living bonds of love to all his members;—such is our dear Lord and Savior. A rose and yet a lily; I do not know in which of the two I take the greater delight, I prefer to have the two together. When I think that my Savior is King of kings and Lord of lords, I shout, "Hallelujah!" But when I remember that he loved me, and gave himself for me, and that still he loves me, and that he will keep on loving me for ever and ever, there is such a charm in this thought that nothing can excel it. Look at the lily, and sing,—

"Jesu, lover of my soul,
Let me to thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll,
While the tempest still is high!
Hide me, O my Savior, hide,
Till the storm of life be past;
Safe into the haven guide;
Oh receive my soul at last."

Then look at the rose, and sing,—

"All hail the power of Jesus' name!
Let angels prostrate fall;
Bring forth the royal diadem,
And crown him Lord of all;"

then put the rose and the lily together, and let them remind you of Christ's majesty and love. The combination of these sweet flowers also suggests our Lord's suffering and purity.

"White is his soul, from blemish free,
Red with the blood he shed for me."

The rose, with its thorn, reminds us of his suffering, his bleeding love to us, his death on our behalf, his bearing of the thorns which our sin created. Christ is a royal rose beset with thorns; but the lily shows that—

"For sins not his own
He died to atone."

Jesus, when on earth, could say, "The prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me." The devil himself could not see a spot or speck in that lovely lily. Jesus Christ is perfection itself, he is all purity; so you must put the two together, the rose and the lily, to show Christ's suffering and perfection, the infinitely pure infinitely suffering. In which of the two do you take the greater delight? Surely, in neither, but in the combination of both; what would be the value of Christ's sufferings if he were not perfect? And of what avail would his perfections be if he had not died, the Just for the unjust, to bring us to God? But the two together, the rose and the lily, suffering and purity, fill us with delight.

Of both of these there is a great variety. I wonder how many different sorts of roses there are, I should not like to have to tell you; they vary exceedingly, perhaps there are as many kinds as there are days in the year. How many varieties of lilies are there? Possibly, there are as many sorts of lilies as there are of roses, for both of them are wonderfully diversified; but the joys that flow from our Lord Jesus Christ are as abundant and as varied as the roses and the lilies. Bring me which rose you please, and I will tell you that it smells sweet; bring which lily you choose, and I will say, "Yes, that also has a delicate perfume; that will do, with the rose, to serve as an emblem of Christ." Our Lord Jesus possesses every kind of beauty and fragrance. "He is all my salvation, and all my desire." All good things meet in Christ; in him all the lines of beauty are focussed. Blessed are they who truly know him.

Further, Christ is the very essence of the sweetness both of the rose and of the lily. When he says, "I am the rose," he means, not only that he is like the rose, but that he made all the sweetness there is in the rose, and it is still in him; and all the sweetness there is in any creature comes to us from Christ, or else it is not sweetness such as we ought to love. I like to look upon the bread I eat as his gift to me, and to bless his providential hand that bestows it. I like to look upon all the landscape on such a fair day as this has been, and to say, "Christ is in all this, giving this charming view to such a poor, unworthy creature as I am." He is in all there is that is good, he is the goodness of all the good there is. He is the very soul of the universe, whatever there is in the universe that is worthy of our soul's love. All good for our soul comes from him, whether it be pardon of sin, or justification, or the sanctification that makes us fit for glory hereafter, Christ is the source of it all; and in the infinite variety of delights that we get from him, he is himself the essence of it all. We can become tired of most things, I suppose that we can become tired of everything earthly; but we shall never tire of Christ. I remember one who, when near his death-hour, forgot even his wife, and she was greatly grieved that he did not recognize her. They whispered in his ear the name of his favourite child; but he shook his head. His oldest friend, who had known him from his boyhood, was not recognized. At last they asked him, "Do you know Jesus Christ?" Then he said, "Ah, yes! and I am going to him." The ruling passion was strong in death; Christ was nearer and dearer to him than those he loved best here. All Bowers will fade, even roses and lilies among them; but not this blessed Rose of Sharon, and Lily of the valleys. Christ does not say, "I was a rose, and I was a lily;" but "I am the rose, and I am the lily." He is now all that he ever was, and he will be in life, in death, and throughout all eternity, to the soul that knows him, an infinite variety of everything that is delightful.

The Rose and the Lily (Part 3)

III. I must now very briefly take up the last head of my discourse, which is, THE EXCEEDING FREENESS OF OUR LORD'S DELIGHTFULNESS.

It is not very pleasant or satisfying for hungry people to stand in the street, and hear someone praising a good meal, of which they cannot get even a taste. I have often noticed boys standing outside a shop window, in which there have been all sorts of dainties; they have flattened their noses against the window-pane, but they have not been able to get anything to eat.

I have been talking about my Master, and I want to show you that he is accessible, he is meant to be plucked and enjoyed as roses and lilies are. He says in the text, "I am the rose of Sharon." What was Sharon? It was an open plain where anybody might wander, and where even cattle roamed at their own sweet will. Jesus is not like a rose in Solomon's garden, shut up within high walls, with broken glass all along the top. Oh, no! he says, "I am the rose of Sharon," everybody's rose, the flower for the common people to come and gather. "I am the lily." What lily? The lily of the palace of Shushan, enclosed and guarded from all approach? No; but, "I am the lily of the valleys," found in this glen, or the other ravine, growing here, there, and everywhere: "I am the lily of the valleys."

Then Christ is as abundant as a common flower. Whatever kind of rose it was, it was a common rose; whatever kind of lily it was, it was a well-known lily that grew freely in the valleys of that land. Oh, blessed be my Master's name, he has brought us a common salvation, and he is the common people's Christ! Men in general do not love him enough, or else they would have hedged him in with all sorts of restrictions; they would have made a franchise for him, and nobody would have been able to be saved except those who paid I know not how much a year in taxes. But they do not love our Lord enough to shut him in, and I am glad they have never tried to do so. There he stands, at the four-cross roads, so that everybody who comes by, and wants him, may have him. He is a fountain, bearing this inscription, "Let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." "I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys." Why do roses grow in Sharon? Why do lilies grow in the valleys? Why, to be plucked, of course! I like to see the children go down into the meadow when it is decked in grass, and adorned with flowers, gilded with buttercups, or white with the day's-eyes; I love to see the children pluck the flowers, and fill their pinafores with them, or make garlands, and twist them round their necks, or put them on their heads. "O children, children!" somebody might cry, "do not spoil those beautiful flowers, do not go and pick them." Oh, but they may! nobody says they may not; they may not go into our gardens, and steal the geraniums and the fuchsias; but they may get away into the meadows, or into the open fields, and pluck these common flowers to their heart's content. And now, poor soul, if you would like an apronful of roses, come and have them. If you would like to carry away a big handful of the lilies of the valleys, come and take them, as many as you will. May the Lord give you the will! That is, after all, what is wanted; if there be that grace-given will, the Rose of Sharon and the Lily of the valleys will soon be yours. They are common flowers, growing in a common place, and there are plenty of them; will you not take them?

Even to those who do not pluck any, there is one strange thing that must not be forgotten. A man passes by a rose-bush, and says, "I cannot stop to think about roses," but as he goes along he exclaims, "Dear, dear, what a delicious perfume!" A man journeying in the East goes through a field that is full of lilies; he is in a great hurry, but, for all that, he cannot help seeing and smelling the lilies as he rushes through the field. And, do you know, the perfume of Christ has life in it? He is "a savor of life unto life." What does that mean but that the smell of him will save? Ah! if you do but glance at him, though you were so busy that you could not come in till the sermon had begun, yet a glance at this Lily will bring you joy and peace, for he is so free that, often, even when men are not asking for him, he comes to them. "What?" say you, "is it so?" Yes, that it is; such is the freeness of Christ's grace that it is written, "I am found of them that sought me not." He sends his sweet perfume into nostrils that never sniffed after it. He puts himself in the way of eyes that never looked for him. How I wish that some man who has never sought for Christ, might find him even now! You remember the story that Christ tells of the man that was ploughing the field; he was only thinking of the field, and how much corn it would take to sow it; and he was ploughing up and down, when suddenly, his plowshare hit upon something hard. He stopped the oxen, and took his spade, and dug, and there was an old crock, and it was full of gold. Somebody had hidden it away, and left it. This man had never looked for it, for he did not even know it was there, but he had stumbled on it, as men say, by accident. What did he do? He did not tell anybody, but he went off to the man who was the owner of the field, and he said, "What will you take for that field?" "Can you buy it?" "Yes, I want it, what will you take for it?" The price was so high that he had to sell the house he lived in, and his oxen, and his very clothes off his back; but he did not care about that, he bought the field, and he bought the treasure, and then he was able to buy back his clothes, his house, and his oxen, and everything else. If you find Christ, and if you have to sell the coat off your back in order to get him, if you have to give up everything you have that you may find him, you will have such a treasure in him that, for the joy of finding him, you would count all the riches of Egypt to be less than nothing and vanity; but you need not sell the coat off your back, Christ is to be had for nothing, only you must give him yourself. If he gives himself to you, and he becomes your Savior, you must give yourself to him, and become his servant. Trust him, I beseech you, the Lord help you so to do, for Jesus' sake! Amen.

My comment:
The last parable can be read as Mr Spurgeon describes. But I believe it is more accurate to say that the man who gave up everything to buy the field - that is Christ, not us. Our Saviour who laid aside His majesty, gave up everything, the clothes off His back, the blood in His veins, to die on the rugged cross. The Lion became the sacrificial lamb - for us.

Fusion!

I love this music! He blends baroque and rock together! Amazingly fresh! Enjoy! :D

You raise me up (Josh Groban)

Hearts burning

What happened to radical Christianity, the un-nice brand of Christianity that turned the world upside-down? What happened to the category-smashing, life-threatening, anti-institutional gospel that spread through the first century like wildfire and was considered (by those in power) dangerous? What happened to the kind of Christians whose hearts were on fire, who had no fear, who spoke the truth no matter what the consequence, who made the world uncomfortable, who were willing to follow Jesus wherever He went? What happened to the kind of Christians who were filled with passion and gratitude, and who everyday were unable to get over the grace of God?

Michael Yaconelli (minister, author)

Association

Reading a sister's post today, I'm reminded about the importance of association.

It's okay to fellowship with all brethren. But it's important to spend time with those who are able to build you up - whose companionship ministers. Iron sharpens iron.

People are not perfect. There are some people that after spending time with them, though enjoyable, takes away faith. It's perfectly all right to fellowship but when it comes to issues like guarding my heart, I place that in higher priority than friendship alone.

I know, it's the shalom peace of God that guards my heart. So follow where there's peace. Where there's no peace, do not continue.

Not all friendships edify. So it's important to value friends by the words they speak. (the last thing I want, is someone speaking bad over my life and dropping rotten seeds into my heart, even unintentionally)

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:34)

Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)

He who guards his lips guards his life,
but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3)

The heart of the wise teaches his mouth,
And adds learning to his lips.
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,
Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. (Proverbs 16:22-24)


Association. So important:-

He who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

Note, it doesn't say, a companion of the ungodly. So one can be godly (since it is the gift of righteousness) and be a fool (having the holy spirit does not mean one is automatically wise. That's why Paul prayed that for the Ephesus church to receive the spirit of wisdom - Ephesians 1:17)

Believers should seek wisdom. But not all believers do. And one can tell from their spoken words...

Note also, elsewhere it says blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly (Psalms 1:1) The wisdom one seeks should be from the Lord - sarkal, not harkim (spelling?) wisdom.

Have you?

Loved worship during chapel in primary school. This is my fave song then. Have really fond memories of it. I didn't think much of the preaching but I really enjoyed the singing. And as I recall, He tells me that He enjoyed me enjoying the singing. Feel the warm fuzzy feelings coming on... :)

This song really spoke to me, especially in times when I feel lonely.


Have you ever talked to God above?
Tell Him that you need a friend to love
pray in Jesus' name believing that
God answers prayers?

Have you told Him all your cares and woes?
Every tiny little fear He knows
You can know He always hear and
He will answer prayers

Have you whispered in a crowd to Him?
Cried aloud when you're alone with Him
You don't have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts...

On a lofty mountain peak
He's there
In a meadow by a stream
He's there
Everywhere on earth you go
He's been there from the start

Find the answer in His Word
It's true
You'll be strong because He walks
with you
By His faithfulness He'll change you too
God answers prayers

Bless those

I was nursing a 'mosquito bite' these past two days.

Got irritated by someone and thought it was really 'big' of me not to retaliate. 'See?' I told myself a little smugly, 'I'm putting what Pastor preached into practise by turning the other cheek.' And then proceeded to write a post on it.

Lord, I repent.

Realised that post was a practise in self-indulgence and took it off-line.

I was on my great white throne musing about how magnanimous I was, whilst at the back of my mind thinking, "just let him try it again and see how christian I can be!" It occurred to me a little belatedly, that I'm letting it bother me. And it bothered me that I'm letting it bother me.

Then, out of the blue, the Lord said to me, "Bless him"

My immediate reaction was, "what?! Bless him? That stoopid guy? You want me to bless him?" I spluttered.

Ahhh.. so christian, so mature right? *sigh* am only human.

But because Abba had 'asked' me, I had to choke the words out. I sure didn't want to say it, so I labelled it "in Jesus' name".

So I went, "In the name of Jesus, I bless you XYZ with blessings - that the Lord may open the eyes of your heart; in the name of Jesus, blessings will come upon you..."

I was aware all the time I was saying it that I was speaking as a royal priest. And I sure didn't want them blessings that I'm saying coming upon him. :S Alas! Royal priest, what to do? Good as done :D

But strangely, it got easier the more I said it. And that mosquito bite that I was nursing in my heart subsided. My heart got lighter and lighter. Lighter than it was previously when I tried to "cast" it to the Lord.

The spiritual truth is that bad things happen to people who curse Christians - and we have to bless them to reverse this natural effect. (I've heard of an actual incident before)

And I understood, practically, what Pastor meant when he taught, "bless those who curse you."

When we bless and release the power of words, it frees us by releasing that grudge. Even though I knew I was nursing a grudge, I couldn't help myself. I wanted to let go, but I didn't want to. Confusing right? I'm ashamed to admit it's sickeningly 'shiok' to nurse one.

So when Abba said, "Bless him", I did that in sullen obedience. Did it only because Jesus wanted me to and because I loved Him.

Labelled the words "in the name of Jesus" and subconsciously recognising that I know I don't want to bless, but He can. And when He takes over..allowing me to speak His rhema words, wow, light as a feather and out of mind! :D

For thou, O Lord

Was listening to a YAM sermon by Pastor Chin. And there was such an anointing at the end. I love it how those services end in worship, when the anointing would fall, people be prayed for, a season of flowing in tongues - and in the midst of this particular worship caught on tape, the worship team was in the background singing this part of the hymn over and over again, like a victorious anthem!


For thou, O Lord
art a shield for me
You're the glory
and the lifter of my head!

For thou, O Lord
art a shield for me
You're the glory
and the lifter of my head!

For thou, O Lord
art a shield for me
You're the glory
and the lifter of my head!

Chit-chat

Abba, it's one of them blah days that I've wasted at home.

In fact, it started off with good intentions. Wanted to get lots of work done, get a good book to read and of course, quiet time in the Word. But in the end...?

And it being such a boring day, I didn't feel quite like talking to you. No energy. Not inspired. Just bleh leh...

You know I'm getting lazy when I lapse into Singlish.

Hmmm... what do you think of the elections Abba? I'm a little nochalent about it. Not voting this time round. But it's like, hardly hear a peep from anyone, then in the last month, such a furore of action. I don't like the PAP harping on Gomez, but they do have a point. Especially tonight when I was watching the news. He did seem like he was playing it up for the media in asking the Elections department for his 'submitted' form.

Okay, let's not talk politics. It's a little droll.

So what's the plan up in heaven? Like when are you coming back Lord? Which reminds me, I must get last last week's CD on the shaking.

Oh, and when Pastor preached about Mount Sinai - that mountain that quakes and trembles - man, it was such a terrifying sight. The purity of the law and all it's glory. Gosh, I was 'scared' and so so thankful for the cross. How can man aspire to perfection and holiness - whose standard is so way above our capabilities. Wow, when Pastor brought forth the terror of the law, in all it's demands... The law brings fear and inadequacy.

I was thinking Abba, of doing a study of Romans and Galatians.. but what say You? I love the way Paul writes. Oh, he's passionate and deliberate in his arguments - at times pleading, demanding, cajoling, proclaiming!

Give me Your stability and wisdom Lord. To grow in wisdom and favour with God and men - like You Lord. Holy Spirit, You are the Spirit of truth and wisdom. I invite You to reveal Yourself in my heart.

Lord, I know You are a gentleman but let it not be said that I'm hard of hearing. But write Your laws in my heart. You said that none such teach me, know the Lord! So Abba, You teach me! You be the one to reveal to me, revelation knowledge of the beauty and perfection of Jesus and the power and mystery of the Holy Spirit.

What does it mean by having the Holy Spirit, God Himself residing in me?

What does it mean, Christ in me, the hope of glory?

Let it be more than mere words alone but transform it into life! Effect in me, work out from me Your salvation.

Would Your goodness cause me to tremble? To fall on my knees?

I do not know Lord. You are at once, El-Shaddai, Jehovah, Adonai - but You are also my Abba, my Yeshua and the gentle Holy Spirit. The latter, as a dove, as a mighty rushing wind. Oh, You speak in a still small voice to me, but You are all power and majesty.

That at Your name, every knee shall bow, and every tongue declare You are Lord! What sort of power and majesty can command such awe?

Do I know the victory that I already have? What it means to reign in life? What is the gift of righteousness and the abundance of grace?

Do I know how much the cross avails for me? Ahhh! I want to appropriate more! I hunger for more! I thirst for more in a tangible tangible way. Inexplicable, inexpressible. To be closer to thee! To enjoy thee! To be One in spirit and in truth! In might and in power! To experience Your glory!

My Father, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven!