Falling in love

Have you fell in love before?

I had crushes before and a fling once. But I knew that wasn't love. So how does falling in love feel?

And I've been thinking about this question for the past 2 weeks. Does love come with heart pounding or a logical discussion? How do I differentiate between attraction and love? Is it love when it doesn't 'measure up' to one's romantic ideals?

So I sighed, 'cos never having fallen in love before, I wouldn't know right? Just follow the peace in my heart when it comes.

Yesterday, one of the songs we sang for worship was "First Love". It was so apt 'cos I was thinking about this song a few days ago. Click here for the lyrics.

Sometimes, I think I know the song.. but during worship, it's a two-way thing. It's not me singing of my love for Him, it's also feeling His embrace.

As I was singing the song, it was like looking through a journal of our times together. Perhaps much like during a wedding, where they would show a photojournal of the happy couple's courtship.

And I realised, falling in love with Jesus - well, He's not just God and my Beloved, He's also that somebody. Sometimes we think that there's my God and then, there's also physical man. Someone that I can see, touch and love.

The song reminded me. I felt like Jesus was tenderly saying, "Don't say you've never fallen in love before. Remember falling in love with me? The first time we met?" And then the past came back as sweet memories.

First love is the most precious. I think it's impossible to know love unless one has been loved by Him.

Because You first loved me, Jesus I want You to be.
I want You to be, my first love.

Perhaps, after that first love, knowing that I am loved and precious in His eyes, I treasure myself.

Before, I asked myself whether it was too idealistic to harbour romantic feelings or to dream of a certain type of love. Some people call it high expectations. Better to be realistic and down-to-earth. Love is not a giddy feeling.

Perhaps true. Love is not simply romance. Love is a decision. And the beauty of time is that love becomes passion. I just recall the title of this book I had. Never read it 'cos it was too thick. But it was a ficticious story with religious elements involved. And the title was, "The Agony and the Ectasy".

I never thought about love in those terms. But what a brother mentioned got me thinking. When we talk about the Passion of Christ and of the love that would send His son down as a living sacrifice. That love is not about an emotionally, feeling-good sensation. That love goes beyond feelings, reaching past the soul (the realm of the mind and understanding) into the spirit.

And the beauty of marriage and growing deeper into love is like that.

Of course, romance is still involved. How often does my Jesus affirm me wash me with His Word! When I worshipped with that song yesterday, I'm reminded to keep my ideals and romance - what lady doesn't have dreams? :) When I see how precious I am in His eyes, so I was in my own sight.

Having high expectations is not about having the 5Cs. (Is it still called the 5 Cs?) Nope, high expectations is about valuing yourself. I read an interesting quote from a book once. Paraphrasing here, "So many women want to be treated as princesses, but they resist and refuse to treat their husbands as kings." It's not about one upmanship but mutual submission. Only secure people are able to be humble and submit.

I don't have to worry about falling in love or not. Oh, to have that fresh reminder that He's my first love.. I don't have to worry 'cos I've already fallen in love. If it's true love, how can one love 2 different persons at the same time?

That is why, what would draw me to a person (be it as a brother or life partner) would be the hesad love of God in his heart. (I suppose that's how one chooses one's closer friends too.)

Is love that complicated? Financial maturity and responsibility is the only other criteria for me. The 'must-haves'. :) (yes, I'm following Pastor's message - which I believe is practical wisdom from God)

Is love complicated in a materialistic world? In Singapore, it is said that the men propose here by saying, "let's get a flat" (I'm sure this is an over-exaggeration. haha :D) Let's not reduce marriage to a financial partnership. argh! where's the romance, love and passion in that?!

I'm wondering whether I should have a post on "Courtship - letting her fall in love with you" hmmm... most of my conclusions would come from the interaction of my observations on my relationship with Him and my relationship with friends.. then again, perhaps not.

Like to end this post with what Jesus sang to me yesterday. :)

Sally, you are, more precious than silver
Sally, you are, most costly than gold
Sally, you are, more beautiful than diamonds
And nothing I desire, compares to you.

And He's singing this song to you. Not to the world. It is a song personally to you. Just listen to your heart.. :)