Beauty of submission

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 1 Peter 3:3-6

Abba is not asking us to keep quiet, 'woman should be seen and not heard' silly practice. :)

But look what it says, "a gentle and quiet spirit" I believe, this is referring to the state of the heart rather than an outward behaviour. The Word talks about it as being "the hidden person of the heart" For that is where one's true self lies.

Oftimes, people who are angry are people who are hurt. But instead of saying or admitting they are hurt, they become angry. It is not that they choose to be angry but their expression is anger, whereas it's true root is hurt.

There was once when I was angry and had to force myself to take a step back, step out mentally from the situation to detach my emotions and analyse them. And knowing it's root allows me to defuse my own anger rather quickly.

Complaining is also another symptom. I've realised it's saying, "I deserve better. You should... You ought to.. should have known. How could I? I'm already... I've did my part..." Basically, it's finger-pointing and it stems out of a very Me spirit.

The Word calls us to be longsuffering - which really, is impossible by human standards.

But to be able to see objectively (I think it's somewhat a gift from God - I think!) I'm appalled at my own behaviour when I move to observe as a third person.

Conversely, there is a beauty in submission. Because submission is not about being below/beneath someone, it is about choice.

The issue really is about giving honour.

And it's up to you, yet it's really not, to choose to give honour to your parents, your boss, your ministry leaders, your elder siblings, your clients, etc.. At times submission is not because of who the person is (i.e. respect) but his/her position. 'Cos if I only submit to a person I respect in the natural, then it's not submission is it? But I find that when I submit to the position, I find a 'supernatural' respect for that person in my heart that I would ordinarily find it hard to have if I go by the natural and judge by one's words and actions.

What do I mean?

For months last year, I struggled with this issue of submission to my boss at work and my parents at home. And I told the Lord that it's hypocritical if it's only outward and Lord, you change my heart! You write upon it! And for months there was no answer.

I tell you when the breakthrough came.. and you shall see the importance of words.

Remember The quarrel with my dad in my previous post "Humility"? I can tell you the exact moment (the trigger) when the floodgates threatened to burst. He was referring to a trekking trip that I did about 5-6 years back. It was when my dad said, "You were so treasured by us yet you insisted to go on that trekking trip. We thought, why should we care when you don't care about yourself? You were my lover's precious daughter and you decided to go even when we kept saying no."

I'm paraphrasing above, and it's a little toned-down. But what really moved me were the words in italics.

I guess I always saw my dad and mum as The Parents. I never heard him use such words before - especially you know, in a traditional chinese family. But the words that he used were passionate - with, love and hurt. And I do believe that somehow, the Lord allowed him to articulate the true feelings he had inside 'cos my dad never says such things. :)

You know the Proverbs 31 woman? She's like that because her husband praises her and that really helps in submission.

Giving honour to one's parents and one's boss at work is really a beautiful and joyful practise to me (and I'm still learning!) Because I knew from whence I came. I'm stubborn and hard-headed, rational and logical, educated and independent. And I liked the way I was. And I thought others should be taught to see the way I see - that there's a better way in doing things...

So to turn 180 degrees, that can only come from the Lord. And I am touched when I submit and give honour because I know this heart of mine, is not by my own doing or choice - yet it is my choice that I can willingly do so. It evolves more and more, from a conscious choice to a lifestyle and a flow. I am touched and moved because it's a reminder that the Lord is working in me, diligently and faithfully, transforming me through the power of His Word and His love.

Really, it's to sit at His feet and just receive and receive even though there may not be any results yet. I've been talking to Abba on this issue of submission for close to a year. And I've realised, only when I have received, will I be able to give to others.

It is not only to people who are in positions that 'require' submission. Submission is also to one another. To one's peers. Only then can we truely bear in love.

There's a beauty in submission which is both strong and wise, gracious and compassionate. It is like still waters that run deep, like a glorious sunrise of greater things to come.

Unlike the world which has 7 steps for better habits, 3 steps to lose weight etc... Enjoy Daddy's love and give honour to the people who matter.

As for the rest (of good success), I'm waiting with anticipation to see.