What about that loving feeling?

First move

Okay, so the bible did not say that guys must make the first move (ref. Ruth) In the bible, it was quite obvious that Boaz already liked Ruth.

But even when it was the lady who was brought to the man, it was God who orchestrated it. (ref Issac and Rebecca; Adam and Eve) They were not looking out for anyone.

To me it's very simple. If he likes you, he'll move. If he don't, he won't.


What about that loving feeling?

I've been talking to Abba about the grand topic of love, oh, for the last 5 months. Having experienced a crush before in my university days, I never wanted my emotions to be sucked into a quicksand ever again. I'll just share it from a female perspective for easy writing but it's applicable to both genders.


The following observations are in the pre-dating stage: (when we are 'in limbo')

1. Is it love?

No one can answer that for sure. Is it attraction or is it love?

2. Immediately ask God to guard your heart with His peace. Then you can think more clearly and rationally.

3. How to measure your emotional maturity?

a. Don't fantasize. It's not fair for him. It's not fair for you. Especially if he's a brother in Christ. Have respect, even in your thoughts. How? Take no thought saying... Ask God to guard your heart and mind.

b. Know that how you feel is independent of what he feels about you or whether he likes someone else or whether someone else like him. Is knowing how he feels about you or someone else going to affect how you feel about him? If that's so, you may be in love with love or just having a fantasy.

c. you're genuinely happy when he likes someone else 'cos you want him to be happy.

I shared this with a sister and she said that that didn't sound like love. It's like it's too wei3 da4. :D If you really liked or love someone, surely you would mind if he were going out with someone else, or else your feeling is not deeply rooted enough.

That got me thinking... 'cos God was a jealous God right? And God is love. So is there something wrong if love does not produce jealousy?

But what was the Lord's jealousy? In the old testament, He was jealous for the children of Israel. They whored when they worshipped other idols. He was jealous of them in that way. Why? Because He loves them so much, He wants the best for them and they are only able to experience the best in life when they are with Him. That is the Lord's jealousy. We don't define the Lord's jealousy after our own human infirmities..after our own concept of jealousy.

And I realise the world has taught as that love is a very complicated thing. You worry about the person, you 'chase' after THE ONE, it's natural to be jealous - all these are indications of love because of your desire for that person. Why are we assimilating the world's point of view?

Flip it the other way.

Why must love be so complicated? Love is actually very simple.

Love becomes complicated when we want the person FOR ourselves. I desire that person because I want him for me. The focus is on what I want, on what I will lose.

Love becomes simple if one loves the person for who he is. Just FOR him. I am happy because you are. I love you just because you are. I'm not blind to your faults but because I love you, it's easy to accept them and not try to change you. The focus is on HIM.

c. So really, love is very simple and direct and enjoyable.


Now, when it's reciprocrated, that's another category altogether. I suppose one would call it Passion. :)