Mortality

Beauty, Jack, Hospital, Time, Life.

In the past two days, the above has been reminding me of mortality.

I've just been reminded that time is a precious commodity. A fact that youth does not seem to be aware of.

I am young and I was unawares, was in the dark but did not know. Like how ice melts is how time slips away and then evaporate into nothingness. Of perhaps memories to live in someone's heart and then perhaps forgotten or recalled with a tinge of nostalgia.

How transient it is. Yet how slowly it seems to creep by as we're living out moments. And how fast it seems to speed when we're living out in years. There's too much time to savour. At the same time, so intangible that it vanishes when one is not looking.

Are we actors passing through a play of life? Would we live a life of meaning? A spark that flashes briefly, violently in the dark and be forgotten by time as great men are wrought to do?

For what IS life? But life to Christ alone? Who cares? But Jesus alone? The Son of God who lived and died for me. He who is beyond time and eternality.

I once asked Jesus. When we are perfected in our new bodies, no sickness, sound mind, no fear and living life to the fullest in heaven, would not everyone be the same? I mean, sure, we'll be having a great time.

Call it vanity but giving glory to God would make sense only when there's comparison wouldn't it? What would be the fun of it in heaven then when we are all equal? But surely, all glory would go to the Lord when the world sees how unfairly good He is to me.

But Lord, I don't know how to live that kind of life. Even the life that you've died to give me. It seems like I just know how to write about it. I just blog about so many things but it's not deep enough. Not deep enough in the sense that I do not seem to be living it.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 27:14

How do I "be of good courage" Abba when I back out of challenges? How will you "strengthen" my heart if I can't be of good courage in the first place? So Lord, what's left Lord?

Wait.

Wait on the Lord.

Yea, will I remember Psalm 18

For who is God, except the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.
He teaches my hands to make war,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You have also given me the shield of Your salvation;
Your right hand has held me up,
Your gentleness has made me great.
You enlarged my path under me,
So my feet did not slip.