Very precious in the sight of the Lord

1 Peter 3:4

rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God

1 Peter 3 begins by talking about relationship in the context of marriage. It also refers to women.

I used not to understand the meaning of "gentle and quiet" - 'cos I'm not. Well, I knew enough of Abba's love to know that He loves me just the way I am. And any passage that I read that I sense has the potential to give me bondage - I'll discard for the moment because I know that the holy-spirit interpretation will produce liberty and life. And if I interpret it so that by my understanding, it binds me, well then, my understanding is wrong.

Since then, I've seen so many examples of a "gentle and quiet" spirit. It does not mean outward demeanor but rather, an inward restfulness. A cheerful, outgoing woman of God may have a "gentle and quiet" spirit. It is not the outward form only.

Today, I was reading a supplement to the Straits Times. Every Thursday, they have a fashion supplement called Urban. And generally, I like to read it for the fashion and the clothes.

Hmm.. God created shopping for us women to enjoy :) Although personally, I don't think God likes shopping much. Whenever I go shopping with Him, I find the stuff that I'm looking for real fast. And even when I insist to browse around and try out other clothes, I still come back to the first few that I tried on initially - just a side note. Maybe it's a male thing.. I don't know.. hahaha :D

Anyway, in today's Urban, they were talking about vagina surgery and breast reductions. I couldn't be bothered reading about the former.. but really! It must be quite unhealthy to be obsessed by the body only. I feel pity for them. Is this what life for them is boiled down to? An endless nitpicking on looks and microscopic examination on self?

Coming across these articles reminded me of how far Abba has brought me. From a mundane life to truly, LIFE! found in Him. I used to think life consisted of activities and activities and how many social engagements I have and how much fun I can have. But after all the busyness, and I'm alone by myself, deep within me I asked, "Is that all there is? Is life living one event to the next?"

Now, my soul satisfaction is found in Him. It's a state of INTENSE contentment, of quiet passion, a reservoir of strength and fulfillment - it's satisfaction regardless of circumstances and events. It is building, growing within, rather than social networking and doing.

Does it mean being a homebody?

By no means. I like to chill out, hang out with friends. Usually, I bring Jesus along or it's not quite as fun :D It's not so much a matter of conscious prayer. Just last night, I had a conversation with Him and I realised I haven't really spoken to Him for quite some time, in a known tongue. It was nice - and I felt it's okay 'cos He makes me aware of Him all the time.

You know, it's like a couple who's really busy. But it's those many eye-contacts during the day, it's like the reassuring touch on the arm, the hold of the hand, the quick hug and brush of lips on the face. I think that's what we experience when my thoughts rest on Him at various times of the day.

And I have started praying in tongues again. I have zero self-discipline. Especially in my line of work when I'm my own boss, that's no good. But I've tried schedules and plans and goal-setting and I'm simply not motivated. Even regularly going to church and reading the bible and good Christian books doesn't cut it.

But somehow praying continuously in tongues bring me a peace and an unconscious (not even desire or want) automatic response to do the things that I'm supposed to do which I've procrastinated for so long. No logic behind it. But just letting Him take over and pray for me is far far easy than all the self-motivation "I must do this" psychology and "know thyself" personality tests (though interesting :)) can ever do for me.