The sweetest name of all / Crush

I couldn't decide the name of this post.. so you choose. :)

I'm going to share something quite personal and close to my heart. Hope it'll help if you find yourself in the same situaiton.


Have you ever had a 'crush' before?

In the natural, it's a horrible state to be in - at least from my perspective. I'm quite an independent girl - or at least, I like to think so... so to have my feelings on an emotional roller-coaster because of one person, is a ride I do not want to take.

Of course, being Christian, I cast it all onto Jesus. But sometimes, I forget and catch myself thinking of him. Then, I have to cast 'him' back to Jesus again - ha! This vollying around can get quite tiring!

I'm sharing this now because it's more or less over. But before, Jesus was the only one I feel comfortable in sharing. This experience is more exasperating than painful, thank God! Jesus is in the picture - in that I reverted all my confusion and complaints to Him. :) And He has been so patient in teaching and explaining to me about love and relationships.


Looking back, there was a period of time when the sound of his name on my lips was like music.. it just made me happy. But I guess that's what people "in love" like to do - hear and speak the name of the one whom they love.

Abba uses earthly relationships to teach me the many faceted yet beautiful types of relationships that I have with Him. And He sanctifies my experiences. :)

I've learnt that having a crush is an indulgence. A waste of emotions over a possibility. It's like giving an 'offering' to one's 'idol'. As this is the second crush that I ever had, I know how frustrating it can be, so I immediately called Abba for help!

At the same time, the Lord has already been guarding my heart by revealing Himself earlier this year as my Bridegroom, Husband and Lover. I learnt that the romantic feelings that I yearn for, the satisfaction that I needed in a relationship is found in Him first, as my Husband.


So in the case of my crush, I had romantic feelings for him, yet because of that, at the same time, I started to understand what being romantic with the Lord is.


I ask myself, since Jesus is my love, how is a romantic relationship with the Lord like? What is it like to have that same kind of crush on Jesus?

Then I started imagining, how is my 'crush', Jesus like? And I started to look at my Lord from another perspective.


Okay, for a practical gauge, I thought about Jim Caviezel from the Passion. He was a carpenter, so He would be well-built; steady, restrained strength. He walked along the beach and called to Peter, just 2 words, "Follow me" and these Ah Bengs of the day did! He must have been a man's man! He must have that irresistible aura about Him.. It's that glory, love and gentle power that attracts and draws us to Him.

And He is my beloved.

And Jesus is way more attractive than my crush. But having that crush taught me how to feel romantic towards Jesus. [I'm glad He sanctified this experience]

In the same way we like to speak the name of the one we love, I've started to delight in the name "Jesus".

Have you ever whispered His name, with love in your heart, romance in your mind and a smile on your lips, over and over again..? Quietly, sometimes lingering over the sound of His name, 'feeling' the sound over your lips, and just delighting in His name?

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...

Jesus, You're the sweetest name of all
Jesus, You always hear me when I call
Jesus, You pick me up each time I fall
You're the sweetest, the sweetest name of all


Today I was in the queue.. and well, you know how glorious looking our sisters are in NCC.

90% of the time, I like the way I look. But when I'm in a bevy of beauties, sometimes, I can't help comparing... I thought I looked good today (of course, going to church! :)), not hot, not fantastic, just, well, solidly good. And I look at them, and inside me, there was a little sigh..

"Wow, look at them, they're so gorgeous.. and me.. just.. good.."

Then Jesus spoke on the inside of me, and reminded me, "But I CHOSE you for my bride." It was an emphatic inner witness.


And just minutes before, I've been thinking on what a marvellous, handsome, manly, charismatic, compassionate, loving, romantic, bridegroom I had. :) You know what those few words can do to a woman's ego? :D How thrilling it was to have Him come immediately to say that?

Feel so loved. So loved. He CHOSE me. Before time. "I CHOSE you as my bride."

Truely, truely, He sanctifies me with the washing of His word and builds me up with His words of love to present to Himself a glorious me, a glorious bride, without spot or wrinkle.

To Him, I'm perfection. :D Gosh, it's wonderful!

Jesus is that crush every girl should have. He makes her feel on top of the world!

Every time I think upon this truth and see Jesus this way, He becomes the rock that my emotions, my soul's satisfaction rests on.

Oh Jesus, I love You! Because You first loved me, in spite of me.. :)