Dying

Have you ever been close to death before?

A colleague committed suicide almost 2 years ago. We knew that she was feeling down in the days leading up to her death. It was evident physically. We never expected that she would take such an action.

She was a Christian from my church.

She was so beautiful, had such a wonderful gentle spirit, womanly, wise, spirit of excellence - she just started dating. Her boyfriend was caring, tender; they looked happy together. It seems that life had everything going for her.

We were all touched by her in some way.

I was not close to her. I felt though, a sense of guilt, because we were from the same church and I did not encourage her. It seemed like it was unnecessary because she had her own friends.

During her wake, so many many people turned up.

Did she know how much she was loved? How, in little ways, she has touched so many people?

I thought of her again sometime back. Invariably, the question is "why?"

Why CHOOSE death?

Perhaps, it's because she forgot how much she is loved. How much God pursues her.

It's so important to know how much we are loved (even in the midst of a bout of self-hatred). Not only that, that we are pursued by Him.

Even when we give up on ourselves, He doesn't.


I spoke to my leader, S about the suicide. I felt guilty. Should I, could I have done something? S reassured me, saying that even before that, her good friends have been trying to talk to her.

Then comes anger - directed at her, directed at myself. Why so selfish? Leaving behind your parents like that? Choosing to die this way? Hurting your friends?


Why death? Why that choice?

I was disturbed particularly, because she was a Christian as well.

Why?? When Jesus has already given us everything?


Physical death. It's so certain. So final.

But as we live life, even as we're breathing and walking, even as Christians, there are instances when we 'touch' death.

It can only hurt us when we choose to believe it.

Touching death - these are feelings. Of fear, loss, want, failures, anger..


Does that mean we don't feel?

NEVER, ever focus on self, on circumstances, only ONLY on the Word. As sister J reminded, the only dying you want to do, is dying to self.

For as much as you die to self, you live to Christ.

And the life that you live is in Christ.

In Christ, you are untouchable!

For how can death approach, light and life, for it will be obliterated.


A sister once asked me, is it realistic to live the everyday life and measure it to the Word of God?

It is the ONLY way one is able to live life here. Not yourself, but through Jesus Christ.


Adam took over 900 years to die. The devil had to teach him how to die.

How are we, with a covenant relationship to almighty God, restored in a position greater than before the fall, found in Him, and seated in the heavenly places, far above all principalities and powers, die? Even at a 120 years. It is the holy spirit which zoefies the mortal body! (Romans 8)

Surely, surely, life more abundantly is quantity AND quality.


[I figured out why I love blogging.

When I share the Word of God, it's LIFE to me! I could go on and on.]


CONFESSION. Homo-logio. Speaking the same words as God speaks.

Our pastoral care leader, a handsome, glorious, Deacon Chin look-alike :D shared with us:-

Blessings. Where? From the spiritual realm. In the spirit, everything is given already.

Our spirit is born-again. But our mind must be renewed by the Word. When it's renewed, we know our rights in Christ.

Then, we speak forth our blessings through the body. Through the tongue. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Also Mark 11, speaking to the mountain.)

As God spoke forth the world into being. So can we, being made in His image - LIKE Him, and more now, after the restoration, after the cross.

Speaking bring forth the spiritual blessings into the physical world. Speaking forth life.

Similarly the opposite, the tongue may be wield for death.

Be conscious, how you speak to others. Also importantly, how you speak to yourself. Take no thought, SAYING.