Intimacy

Lord, during worship on Tuesday, I realised I never took the time to linger quietly in Your presence - to simply enjoy Your silence.

It's kinda of strange to me 'cos I'm so comfortable with You as my Abba. My Daddy whom I can run to and complain and demand Your attention. Sometimes, I feel I'm so petulant. Abba, Abba, Daddy, thanks for Your patience! :D

So it was strange to me - that instance of remaining quiet and still before You. I'm so used to worshipping You in 'loudness', in Hallelujahs! and with energy and action. But to lay quiet before thee, is another kind of intimacy that I haven't really experienced before.

It's like, taking the time, Jesus, to just gaze into Your eyes. Like a cherished lover. It brought to mind what a sister shared. Her vision of standing before the altar in a wedding veil, walking towards Jesus, my handsome bridegroom. My heart is beating a little faster than usual as I walk down the aisle. I reach Him, and He takes my hand, His fingers intertwaining with mine as we pledge our love.

I'm just starting to realise, that silent kind of worship, is like that. That moment in time, when we remember our wedding. That moment when we turn to each other and just gaze. Not like a shy teenager, self-conscious but like a mature lover, just looking, just gazing into Jesus.

Perhaps it'll get more comfortable with practise..! This intimate lingering as lovers. Jesus, thank You for reminding me and giving me this picture. You lead me by hand. Sometimes I feel shy about You but You're bringing me to that place where I can allow You to boldly love me and to love You back the same way. Where we finally commune and joyfully get lost in Your love. Oh Lord, I want to have a revelation of that in my heart, in my soul.. let Your spirit break forth and allow me to feel this reality! How my heart longs for You!