Zing

Hmm... feel that I am living in exciting times!

Have you ever FELT pursued?.. well, in a nice, thrilling way of course!

I know that God pursues me.. but it's still settling in my heart how MUCH He pursues me.

The unveiling of this revelation is still new and fresh for me. :)


How does Jesus speak to you?

It's in the details. I love it! Sometimes, in tantalizing tidbits. :)

Okay, yesterday, I went into The Rock bookstore and saw this title, "Courtship after marriage" by Zig Ziglar (his mum had a sense of humour..)

I didn't even take down the book to browse and didn't think much of it. But the title kept playing in my mind.

I thought about it...

I'm already married to Jesus. The bride of Christ is without spot of wrinkle, washed in His blood. Okay, I admit, it was head knowledge. I know that He is my Lover, but husband sounds so STAID and boring... hahaha :D I guess that's why in the hebrew that is no word for husband or wife - it's still man or woman.

So, I've thought of Jesus as my man, that.. hmm.. lover of my soul. It gives me quite a kick. :D I believe God revealed this role to me this year to guard my heart. When it's romantic love I yearn for, I turn to Him instead of daydreams. So yes, I do know that He pursues me.

But to be reminded that I'm already married to Him and STILL He pursues me. Wow. It's like "I'm already Yours what", and still He bothers to takes such care and tenderness to bring me deeper into Him.


I don't know, it was real exciting for me when this thought dropped into my heart!

I guess, it's 'cos it's becoming something tangible. Tangible, not in the sense of physically seeing it - but KNOWING, really knowing it's given.


Well.. I think I'm starting to love people more, especially the brothers! hahaha :D

Okay, I loved you guys too last time as well, but feel so much comfortable with you now.. In the past, I thought of them as brothers in Christ, like there must be some kind of 'qualification'. Now, it's more like xiong1 di4.

And what's so great is, I'm starting to find it easier to see Christ in them. Last time, I had to remind myself to do the Christian thing and see, and love. But later, when I 'bo chap' and told Him that I can't but NOT like the fellow; that was when Abba could start doing a good work in my heart.

Now, because I'm able to perceive the glory in them or His working in them, that I've become more accepting and love them and am comfortable with them. Not there yet, getting there, through His grace!


It's like I feel like I'm taken to another level on the 'romantic' side of things.

You know, when He is the one who guards your heart, you can be attracted to someone and yet not. (Gotta change your mindset about what is love though. I think I wrote something about it in one of other blog entries..)

What do I mean?

Hmm... I don't quite know how to explain, but just that I feel there's something sizzling exciting, crackling like static electricity up in the air around me. Is something gonna happen? I really don't know, and I don't quite care.. that much. :D

Of course, in my line of work I meet so many people. And hmm.. naturally eligible guys. Good looking, stable, financial mature, responsible, good prospects - all the natural stuff :D No lah, nothing happened. (Before anything happened, they have to be attending church first)

I get along very very well with all my prospects or clients. Sometimes have to draw the line; sometimes, tempted NOT to draw the line, but still draw the line. haha :)

You see, that's the favour of God in our lives. Not just any ordinary favour but His favour. And praise Jesus, He's also jealous of moi, so He guards my heart too. So that's how you can be attracted and yet not. Like what Pastor shared yesterday, the flesh may be stirred but not as before.

In fact, just abide in His love and observe. Watch what Jesus does.


It's a wonderful discovery! To me at least, to look at a few brothers I'm attracted to and yet He is able to beautifully preserve them in my affections as brothers still and not 'mates'.

I know that what I'm attracted to is not only them physically, but His glory in them as well. So being still able to see them as brothers, there's really no stress. It becomes quite fun. And to be able to rejoice if they get attached to someone else - that's supernatural. What's great to me is that I really feel that I've come to that stage. I have (drum roll...) uh hum.. matured. :D

Feel I need to put a disclaimer here. :) It's no one from the caregroup.


I'm finally starting to understand when He told me months ago that courtship is fun! No ifs and buts. 'If he'll only call.. but does he like me?..' round and round it went.


It's quite liberating to look at someone and be attracted and yet not get into flesh at all... there's a glory in that that I know it must be Jesus! And it's Him that's allowing me to feel, yet have the peace to feel this way.

And even the type or mode of 'attraction' is not in terms of how I used to be attracted in the past.

Ahh.. how to explain?

Just that at the end of the day, the thrill of the chase, is not from human beings. But it's from Him. And when I realised this in my heart, I am able to enjoy the thrill from elsewhere, the romantic feelings from elsewhere. It's being so secure in Him, that hey, my natural feelings don't control me anymore. That doesn't mean that I don't feel. But when all I am, all my feelings are spent up in Him, He is then able to be the one who supplies me that supernatural feelings for others.

That's how you can be attracted to someone(s) and yet NOT be attracted.

Supernaturally amazing huh? :D